What to Do When Things Aren’t Going Your Way
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Okay, so if things in your life are not going as planned, if life feels hard, you feel like no matter how hard you try, it just doesn’t matter, if things don’t seem to me falling in place the way you want them to, and things feel like they are falling apart, and everything you want seems so out of reach, and you feel completely hopeless….this episode is for you. I have a super important reminder I need to share with you.
TRANSCRIPT:
Hey, hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned. If you're ready to embrace you real, let's get it, let's go.
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Embrace Your Real Podcast. I wanted to record this episode just to give you some real talk when you are feeling hopeless or if you're feeling like you are in a season of just overwhelm or anxiousness, or feeling like you thought that you would have X, Y, and Z at this age, and maybe you're at that age and you're not even anywhere near that. Or maybe you're past that age and you're just wondering, "God, do you even see me? Do you even hear me? I'm frustrated. I felt like I would be here, but I'm not even close to that." Or, "I want this and it's just not going the way that I planned." I want to just give you some encouragement. So, I have found myself in Ecclesiastes a lot recently. I just feel like there is so much wisdom in this book that I am actually planning on doing a whole deep dive study into Ecclesiastes at the beginning of next year. Because every time I read Ecclesiastes, I feel like I find 500 new things to highlight.
But I was reading in Ecclesiastes 7:14, it says, "When the times are good, be happy, but when the times are bad, consider. God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future." And in the commentary section of this Bible, it really gave some really good insight into this specific verse. It says, "God allows both good and bad times to come to everyone. He blends them in our lives in such a way that we can't predict the future or count on human wisdom or power. We usually give ourselves the credit for the good times. Then in the bad times, we tend to blame God without thanking him for the good times that come out of it. When life appears certain and controllable, don't let self-satisfaction or complacency make you too comfortable. Or God may allow bad times to drive you back to him. When life seems uncertain and uncontrollable, don't despair. God is always in control and will bring good results out of your struggles."
And I felt like, "Man, this is such a good point to drive home." I feel like sometimes, we sit here and I know I might just be speaking for myself, but I feel like a lot of you guys listening to this can relate that there are so many times in my life where I'm like, it's a constant battle with God. I'm like, "God, I thought it would be this way and I'm seeing this, and this is not even close to what I thought." And in the moment, I feel so discouraged. In the moment, I feel like God has abandoned me, I feel like there is no good possible thing that could come out of this situation. And then, I look back on that. And it could be a month later, it could be a year later, or in my case, when I'm thinking about my story, it's about 10 years later. So, I'm thinking about a specific story. When I was in college, I was dating a guy and I thought I was going to marry him. We've been dating for two years.
And then abruptly, I was given this choice or kind of this ultimatum by him. He decided to move to Florida, pursue other things, and he said, "You can either quit college and move to Florida with me or we're going to break up." And in that moment, it was so heartbreaking. I can't even begin to tell you. I was so beyond, "What? What's going on? I can't even believe this. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with you. And now here, you're giving me the ultimatum of either quitting college and moving down there and staying together or breaking up." And I felt in my heart of hearts, I knew that I had to stay where I was at. I knew I had to stay in college. I knew that God was calling me to stay. But yet, the future was so uncertain. And I just remember battling in that season with God. "God, I thought it would look like this. God, I didn't see this coming. I was so blindsided by it." And in that season, it felt like forever that I was going through that.
And then, through lots of prayer, lots of journaling, lots of speaking with mentors and girls that I was really connected with in college, I felt like God was calling me to a year of singleness. And so, in that season, I decided to commit that year to just growing in my relationship with God. I felt in that season that so many things, so many fruits came out of that season. But in that season, even when so many beautiful things were coming out of it, I didn't recognize those beautiful things until I came out on the other side of that season. During that time, I realized how much I was relying on confirmation in my relationship with my boyfriend versus really staying steadfast and secure in my relationship with God and allowing God to guide my life, not a earthly relationship with my boyfriend at the time. And so much sweetness, like I said, came out of that season of just growing closer to the Lord, finding who I am.
I felt like my identity was so wrapped up in being a girlfriend and being this, and it wasn't that I was just a child of God. I felt like in that season, I had lost all of the truth that I am a child of God and I am secure in that. And God calls me beautiful, and He calls me wonderfully made, and God has a purpose for my life, and I felt like I'm so revived. And so, anyways, during that season of singleness, I felt like it was so long, it was so hard, but it was so beautiful. And then, I always share this story. For those of you guys who've never heard it, you're in for a treat. But those who have heard my story of how I met my boyfriend at the time later after my season of singleness, now husband, Joshua, it is just such a sweet, sweet story of me coming out of that year of singleness. And I remember being like, "God, okay, it's been a year."
I remember marking at my journal and being like, "God, it's been a year and I'm expecting my husband to show up tomorrow. I have put in my time and I've done it." And lo and behold, it was months and months and months that went by afterwards. And then, I think it was about six months, I can't remember exactly, I'd have to look back at my journal entries. But I think it was about six or seven months later is when I met Joshua. My not yet boyfriend, but my now husband. During that time of my season of singleness, I felt like, and I have journaled this, I have it in my husband journal, which was another amazing thing that came out of that year of singleness, of writing journal entries to my future husband, which was such a sweet, sweet thing to be able to share and to be able to know that, wow, God was really just, He saw the bigger picture. When I saw one step in front, God saw 12 months, 16 months, 18 months. He saw my whole life.
How silly of me to think that God was not in control when He sees it all. And so, in that time period, as I'm journaling, not just in my husband journal but journaling, I felt like God spoke to me and told me that, "Your love story is going to be one that there's no doubt about it that I brought you two together." And I didn't know what that meant. During that time, I felt like God gave me a name of my husband. I was so like, "There's no way. There's no way." And lo and behold, Joshua. Joshua, Joshua, Joshua was the name that I was given and that is my husband's name. I had no idea who he was. Anyways, our love story is no doubt, one that God brought us together. Because previous to meeting my now husband, Joshua, and I had never met a deaf person in my life. I didn't know sign language and I would've never imagined being married to a deaf individual just because I'm like, "How the heck are we supposed to communicate?"
And I can tell you, there's been so many sweet God moments in us being able to communicate and me learning sign language over the course of the last eight or nine years, been nine years. So, learning language and just seeing God's divine plan over that. But you guys, in the moment, I felt like there's no way. I felt like there's no good in this situation. And looking back on it, oh my gosh, does God have His hand on my life? And so, I just want to encourage you. If you are feeling like you are in a season of your life where you just feel like you don't know what is next, I just want to encourage you to trust that God is in control. And if you have never, ever prayed before, trust me, I remember the first time ever praying, I remember the first time ever breaking down. It's scary, it's intimidating. I'm here for you. Feel free to DM me. I am always here to help you or kind of point you in the right direction when it comes to resources.
I know for me, reading the Bible from cover to cover, I am now on, I believe it's day 325. I am so close to finishing the Bible in 365. But reading the Bible cover to cover has been so transformative in my life. Especially reading, just having context to the Bible and reading kind of more commentary on it has been super helpful. So, I will go ahead and actually just link the Bible in 365 plan that I am reading through. So, basically, every single day you're sent a text message. If you want to commit to starting to read the Bible come January 1st, I want to encourage you to join on that Bible in 365. I am in no way affiliated with this, but I have used this as a resource and it has been so helpful. But anyways, every day you get your readings and typically, it's some Old Testament reading, either a Psalm or a Proverb, and then New Testament reading. It has blessed my life in so many ways.
But if you have never prayed or never talked to God before, I just want you to know that He's listening, He's waiting for you to come to Him, and He has His hand on your life. And I want you to trust that. I want you to trust that you are in good hands and you are in the hands of your maker and your creator. So, I just want to, again, just read that scripture, Ecclesiastes 7:14, "When times are good, be happy, but when times bad, consider God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future. Remember that God allows both good and bad times to come to everyone. He blends them in our lives in such a way that we can't predict the future or count on human wisdom and power. We usually give ourselves the credit in good times. Then in bad times, we tend to blame God without thanking Him for the good times that come out of it. When life appears certain and controllable, don't let self-satisfaction or complacency make you too comfortable."
"Or God may allow bad times to drive you back to Him. When life seems uncertain and uncontrollable, do not despair. God is in control and will bring good results out of your struggles." I hope that this blesses you. I hope that this episode spoke to you in some way, shape, or form. If you are in a season of waiting, please know that God hears you. And He doesn't always answer us. In fact, more times than not, He doesn't answer us in the way that we thought, in the timeframe that we thought, and He answers our prayers of what we need, not want, in some of the most unexpected ways. So, stay steadfast in that, trust in that. If you have a girlfriend or someone in your life that they would benefit from or find encouragement from, I just ask that you share it out with them.
You can copy the link, send it to them in a text message. You can post it up on your story. Be sure to tag me, juliealedbetter. I love connecting with you guys. Again, I will link the Bible in 365 below. It's just a reading plan. So, basically, it's just telling you what to read each day so that you can read the Bible in 365 days from cover to cover. It has blessed me so tremendously and I know it will bless you. Reading the Word of God, the Word of God is living and active, and it will meet you where you are, and you will gain so much clarity and so much wisdom, and you will have so much joy in your life just knowing, and understanding, and reading God's Word. So again, I love you guys so much. Thanks so much for tuning in, and I'll talk to you in the next episode.
All right, sister, that's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the Gram, be sure to do so, juliealedbetter. Yes, it's with an a in the middle, for that daily post workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world. And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So, go out there and embrace your real because you're worth it.