How to Cope With Food Shaming This Holiday Season
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The holidays can be a really hard time of year for those of us who struggle with our body image and our relationship with food because for some reason, people like to make comments on our body and the food we eat.
Unfortunately, we cannot control what other people say, but we can control what we do, how we respond, and the way we speak to ourselves. That’s what I want to dive into today in this episode of Embrace Your Real to help you enjoy the holidays and not allow the comments of others and your own insecurities to take the fun out of the holiday season. Sound good?
TRANSCRIPT:
Hey, they're beautiful human, you're listening to Embrace Your Real, with me, Julie Ledbetter. A podcast where I empower you to just be you. With each episode, I dish you a dose of real talk and actionable advice for building your confidence, honoring your body and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real, let's get in. Let's go. Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Embrace Your Real podcast. I am so grateful that you are here spending some time with me today.
I'm really excited about today's episode, how to cope with body and food shaming this holiday season. I know that the holidays can be a very hard time for many of us, for many different reasons. One of those specific reasons is struggling with our body image, our relationship with food, because for some reason, people like to make comments on our body and the food that we eat. Unfortunately, we can't control what other people can say, but we can control what we do, how we respond, and the way that we speak to others. That's why in this episode, I want to dive into this topic to help you truly enjoy the holidays and not allow the comments of others and your own insecurities to take the fun out of the holiday season.
So before we do that, I did want to just take a moment and thank you so much for subscribing to the podcast. If you haven't already, be sure to go over to apple podcasts on any apple device, iPhone, iPad, MacBook. First, make sure you're subscribed to the podcast and second, I just ask that if this show has blessed you in any way, if it has helped you out in any way, that you just leave a rating and review. That truly does help out the podcast more than you know. It helps us grow. It helps us reach the message of Embracing Your Real to women all across the world. And I am so grateful. If you do, please screenshot it, send it to me in a direct message on Instagram, juliealedbetter, and I will personally respond back with a voice memo. I love connecting with you guys, and I love just thanking you for taking time out of your busy schedule to rate and review the show, because again, it does really help us out.
So let's dive in as to how to navigate the holiday season without body and food shaming. Number one, let's first chat about your own body insecurities. I think many times people don't actually say things to us about our bodies looking a certain way. Rather, we make up stories in our head of what they're thinking about our bodies. So we might go to a family gathering and in our heads, we're thinking our family is noticing X, Y, and Z about us. They're judging us. They're secretly thinking that we look terrible, or man she's gained muscle or she's gained weight or whatever. The fact is I have to remind you of a few things. We have to stop turning our made up stories in our head into reality. Most of the time, people aren't thinking anything about our bodies. It's us that are thinking negatively about ourselves.
So we need to stop projecting our own insecurities onto other people and realize that people care about the laughs that you have with them, the positive energy that you bring to the party, the love that you have to share with them. They don't care or give a damn, excuse my language, about your pants size, how much you weigh or how much you used to weigh or whatever it is that you are worried. Quit thinking, oh, they're probably thinking X, Y, and Z. You don't know what they're thinking, so stop making assumptions based on all of your assumptions that you are doing and letting that ruin your holiday experience. Instead, I want to encourage you to just focus on you showing up as your most authentic self, embrace your real, the radiant within your amazing energy is going to emanate. You have to focus on that because that's truly what matters.
Plus, we need to remember that the people who actually matter in our lives, they don't care what we look like. They don't care. They care about the person that we are. So instead of focusing on your weight, you need to focus on living in the moment and being present in your experience. But the fact of the matter is, what if people still do make a comment? What do you do? How do you react? I have to remind you of that, that other people's comments and beliefs around body and food have nothing to do with you. Let them carry that burden. You don't need to carry that for them. So when someone makes a comment and you feel bothered, ask yourself, am I taking on what isn't mine? Most of the time, the answer is yes, that is their burden, not yours to carry. So when someone makes a comment to you about either what your body looks like or much food you're eating, or what you're eating, there are three responses and three things that you can do.
Option number one, say a prayer for them. Be thankful that you have a healthy relationship with your body and food and wish this upon them as well. I will be completely frank. We are human. This is a hard response. But it's something that you absolutely can do. It does take self-control in extending them grace. Option number two, let them know that this is not okay to make these comments. Of course you don't have to be mean about it. You can simply say something like, hey, I don't really appreciate when you make comments like that. Do you mind keeping that to yourself next time? If they get mad, it's only because they're embarrassed and they know that you are right and they never should have said anything in the first place. Or option number three, walk away. If you don't want to address this situation, you don't have to.
If they're going to make comments like this to you, they don't deserve your energy and you don't deserve to have your day or your event or your holiday ruined by their thoughtless, rude remark. Walk away, say a prayer from them and move on. So those are three different options. And I think that they all require three different scenarios, right? And so I just want you to know that whatever option you choose to pick, that's going to be your best option in that moment. And just knowing ahead of time that you have the options to either say nothing and pray for them and be thankful for your healthy relationship or tell them that that's not okay, or simply walk away. Either way, I want you to know that I'm proud of you. I want you to know that I'm rooting for you, and I want you to stand up for what you believe in and whatever you feel is appropriate in that situation.
My hope and prayer is that you feel empowered, knowing that you have options if you do find yourself with someone actually making comments about you. And number three, I encourage you to wear clothes that you both feel comfortable and confident in. The clothes that we wear, they do play a huge role in our confidence. I don't like to focus on surface layer things like this, but it is something that needs to be addressed because the reality is the clothes that we wear can make or break our confidence in certain situations. If we're wearing too tight of pants, it's digging into our stomachs, it makes us feel uncomfortable. It becomes a focus of the night, which thus enables us to feel more self-conscious. Rather than if we're wearing a pair of pants or leggings, for that matter, that we have some wiggle room, we feel comfortable and we feel like we can actually breathe in, thus, you're not spending your time and energy focused on that.
Because when we start to feel self-conscious, we can actually start to make up stories in our minds about what other people are thinking about us. You have to remember that they're not inside of your head, but if your whole focus that night is how uncomfortable you are feeling, that's going to be in focus and you're going to project that. Whether you outwardly say something or not, you're going to think other people are thinking the same thing. I don't want you to do this to yourself. I want you to celebrate the holidays with your friends and family in an enjoyable way. And you shouldn't be wasting time thinking about X, Y, and Z clothes and how you don't feel comfortable and confident in them. So I want to encourage you to do some planning ahead and pick an outfit that you both feel confident and comfortable in.
Maybe plan some go-to outfits this holiday season that you know that you can pop on if at any moment you get a call or you have a holiday party to go to that both you feel cute wearing, but you also have a little bit extra room so that you're not going to feel self-conscious, if that's the case. Lastly though, I want to encourage you to show up and have fun. Let fun and enjoyment be your number one goal through the holiday season. If you feel anxious about what other people are thinking or what they say, remember that you are here to truly enjoy the present holiday season. Repeat that to yourself on your way to the party. I'm here to have fun. I'm here to 100% live in the present moment so I can live to the fullest. Okay, so let me quickly recap what I mentioned in today's episode.
I need you to stop making assumptions about what other people are thinking. Don't make up stories in your head and believe them to be true. Instead, I want to encourage you to live in the moment and focus on just having fun. Two, if people do make comments, say a prayer for them. Or, either tell them you don't appreciate what they said, or simply walk away. Do whatever feels right to you in that moment. And lastly, wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. If you want more advice on navigating the holiday season, I highly suggest an episode that we released last holiday season, episode 78, 11 ways to avoid overeating this holiday season. I just want to remind you that it is possible for you to enjoy your favorite treats and continue working towards your goal. At the same time, you truly don't have to compromise one or the other.
We are here for you. I don't want you to feel guilt or regret or anxiety or depression or straight up feeling gross. And so I hope that this episode, episode 78, really does encourage you and give you the tools that you need to navigate this holiday season. I will go ahead and link that in the show notes below. But again, I am here for you. I'm rooting for you. And just know that if you do a tiny bit of preparation, even in your mind and becoming more self aware of these things, you too can truly enjoy the holiday season without having all of these negative thoughts on repeat.
If you have a friend or a coworker or someone in your life that you feel like would really benefit from this specific episode, I just ask that you share it out with them. You can copy the link, send it to them in a text message. You can screenshot this, post it up on your Instagram story. Be sure to tag me, juliealedbetter. I love connecting with you guys and I love seeing your aha moments. Thank you guys so much for tuning in into today's episode and I'll talk to you in the next one.
All right, sister, that's all I got for you today. But, I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so, juliealedbetter. Yes, it's with an a in the middle, for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to apple podcast to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace your real, because you're worth it.