6 Reason Why You're Not Reaching Your Goals

 
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Girl, if you think you’re not reaching your goals because your diet, workout routine, or supplements regimen isn’t working, it’s about time we’ve had some real talk. I know how frustrating it is to have a goal that feels absolutely impossible to reach. I know how tempting it is to just toss in the towel and give up completely. But I also know just how easy it is to make these six common mistakes I’m about to share with you in this episode. And I have a pretty good feeling it is these mistakes that are holding you back from reaching your goals.

I’ll be honest, these are mistakes I've made in the past when working towards reaching my goals and that’s why I want to ensure you don’t continue making the same! If you fix these six mistakes, you will be on track towards reaching your goals. So don’t give up, girl!


TRANSCRIPT:

Hey there, beautiful human. You're listening to Embrace Your Real, with me, Julie Ledbetter, a podcast where I empower you to just be you. With each episode, I dish you a dose of real talk and actionable advice for building your confidence, honoring your body and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real. Let's get in, let's go.

Hello and welcome back to the Embrace Your Real Podcast. So excited that you are here, you are joining me. I'm so grateful that you are spending some time with me today. Today, I'm just going to dive right into the episode. If you haven't already pressed subscribe to the podcast, be sure to do so, that way you never miss an episode. We post them every Monday and Thursday. And if you haven't already rated and reviewed, I would love for you to do so. If you do, be sure to screenshot it, share it with me in a DM and I will personally send you a voice message back. I just want to honor you and thank you for taking time out of your day to do so. It really does help the podcast get out into the ears of women all across the world. All right, let's dive into the episode.

This one is for you if you feel like you can't seem to reach your goals. I know it's such a frustrating thing and I know that so often we just want to throw in the towel, and maybe that's you right now. Maybe you are wanting to throw in the towel. Maybe you did throw in the towel. You've been thinking about it. Before you do, I want you to listen to this entire episode and I really think that this will give you some practical tips, and these are some of the mistakes that I've made and I want you to learn from my mistakes. And I am guessing if you listen to all six of them and you fix them, then you will be on track towards reaching your goals. I don't want you to give up. So, let's dive right into the six mistakes that you are probably making, which is hindering you from achieving your goals.

Mistake number one, you are not specific enough with what goal you want to reach. Most likely, you're being too vague with what you're trying to accomplish. You want to lose more weight, you want to become more toned, you want to work out more, you want to build more muscle, you want to eat better, whatever it is. You're not defining what more is or what better is, right? You're just using these very vague terms and you're not setting specific goals that you can measure. If you don't have a way that you can measure it, then it's not specific enough, right? It's really important that you're very specific on what you want, because when you go to measure it, when you go to hold yourself accountable or have somebody else hold you accountable, if there's nothing specific there for them to hold you to, then it's going to be impossible for you to follow through with it. So you've got to get super specific on what it is that you want.

If you don't, you'll continue to struggle towards your goal. And when you don't have a definite goal in mind, you'll never feel fulfilled, because there's nothing really that specific that you're working towards. Mistake number two, you're only setting a macro goal and you're not breaking it down into micro goals. This is a huge reason why so many people fail from achieving their goals, or goals that will actually make them feel fulfilled. Because they have this big goal in their mind, but they don't know how to break it down into micro goals or they don't think that that's important, right? Because, when you just have one big macro goal, it can feel super overwhelming and it can also feel very distant, right? It's really easy to live in this mindset of procrastination.

Like, It feels okay to get serious tomorrow. Or, Oh, if I just put it off today, it's not going to be a big deal. It's not until six months. Or, it's not until 12 months. Or, that's going to take me time anyways, right? It's so important that you remember that every single action that you take today, ultimately dictates what your future is in 6 months, in 12 months. And it's that ripple effect. I've been talking about this book that I've been reading called The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson, and I love it. Because, it's so true that the little things that you decide to do whether positive or negative, will ultimately result in the bigger thing that's going to get done or not get done, right? In the case of just procrastination. And so, really making sure that you're breaking down your micro goals into macro goals, that's so important because it's more tangible for you. And when you have something micro, you can see it.

It's a lot more tangible because it's like, "By the end of this week, I'm going to do X." Or, "By the end of this month, I'm going to have this." Right? Let's say for example, your ultimate goal is to lose 25 pounds... Which, I don't always love using weight loss analogies, simply because, if you've listened to my episode about weight loss, I think we oftentimes have this magical number in our mind like 25 pounds, and we're like, "Oh, when I lose X amount, then I'll feel this way." And we attach all of these emotions to what we think we're going to feel. But in reality, it's really about finding confidence. It's about finding your joy along the journey. And so, let's just say you have this big weight loss goal in mind or you just overall want to feel healthier, focus on the first little bit that you can do. Focus on the first 5 pounds.

Because here's the thing, you don't know how you're going to feel when you lose five pounds. That could be it. It could make you feel so much better. It could make you feel like you have so much more energy. Or, it could give you the boost that you need in order for you to keep going, right? Because you get a little taste of feeling more energy, of feeling more confident, and then you continue on your journey. So really breaking it down into micro goals, because it allows you to experience things that you wouldn't have otherwise if you're just so fixated on the macro goal itself. Another example. So many people come to me and they say, "How many days a week do you work out?" And I am... I get cautious about telling people. Just because, number one, there's no magical number of days that you can work out to see results.

But for me, I personally, I'm at a good sustainable place of five days a week, I do workouts. I follow all the workouts in [inaudible 00:06:22] app. And so many people come to me, they're like, "Okay, I want to do that. I want to work out five days a week." And a lot of times, they are not even consistent with working out two times a week. So that jump from two times a week to five times a week, is a lot. So I encourage them, "Okay, start with three days a week. Start with three days a week for a good three or four or five weeks and see if you can stay consistent with that. Try to keep moving on day four, day five, try to at least get in 30 minutes of movement every day, doesn't have to be a workout. And go from there."

The macro goal of five days a week, working out consistently. The micro goal of, start with three days a week, stay consistent with that, start adding in movement slowly on the other days, and then work your way up towards the five days. Remember, the goal is for you to stay consistent with it. So, sure, it might be easy for you to stay consistent for the macro goal for two weeks. But, where are you going to be in three weeks or four weeks or five weeks? If you're just focusing on the big unrealistic thing, you're going to get burnt out. So just keep that in mind. Slowly ease your way into things and focus on consistent action over trying to hit that perfect thing every time. Remember that, if you're not laying the foundation of smaller more manageable goals, you'll most likely never reach the bigger ones.

Mistake number three, you are not setting deadlines for yourself. Deadlines are so important. Some people love them, other people hate them. Either way, they create some sort of pressure that typically propels people into action. If you don't set a deadline for yourself, it's really simple to keep pushing it back more and more. I know for me, if I don't set a deadline to get this podcast out, then these podcasts are not going to go live every Monday and Thursday. And so having that deadline for me, ensures that I'm recording these ahead of time, I'm planning it out, and all of those things, right? Setting a deadline for your macro goal and then breaking your macro goal into micro goals that you have for each month. From there, you can even break it down into monthly micro goals, right? Remember that it's a snowball effect and ultimately the things that you want to reach just need to be given a deadline.

So once you have the macro goal, you've broken it into micro goals, then set a deadline for yourself, right? Like say, "By the end of this week, I'm going to achieve X." Whether this is in your health and fitness journey or it's in the mindset practice that you want to start implementing, maybe it's a financial goal, it's a relationship goal, whatever it is. You need to set deadlines for yourself or it's not going to happen. This could even be on a very practical level. You want to start implementing a date night with your husband more, that needs to happen. You need to set that deadline and say, "Okay, on this day, this is when we're doing it. We're getting the babysitter set up. We're planning accordingly, so that we have this day in mind and this is when it's going to happen." And that can happen for all different things, right? This could even go down to the micro goal of, scheduling in your workouts.

I'm a huge believer in scheduling in your workouts, because you're setting a deadline for yourself. Because, if you just keep telling yourself... Especially with so many people right now in quarantine they are working from home, it's easy for them to be like, "Oh, I can just get the workout in later." "Oh, I can just get in later." And then, the later turns into later, which turns into tomorrow, which turns into the next day, which turns into next week. And then you find yourself pushing it off, because you're not giving yourself a deadline, you're not scheduling it in. So, make sure that you are setting a deadline for yourself both in the macro goal and the small micro goals. Mistake number four, you have a specific goal, but you don't have a concrete plan as to how you will reach it. Again, it's so important that you have a plan.

You can have a goal, but if you don't have a plan as to how you're going to get there, you're going to find yourself running in circles and not achieving the goal, right? Let's say for example, you want to overall just have more energy. That could be your macro goal. I want 2020 to be a year of more peace, of more energy, and just overall feeling more confident. That's a great macro goal. But, what is your micro goal? What's going to be needed to be taken place in order for you to do that? Well, let's break it down into what I specialize in. I specialize in macros, that's fueling your body optimally, so that you're getting enough protein, you're getting enough carbs, you're getting enough fats, based on your body, where you're at and what your body needs, in order for you to feel healthy and vibrant and strong and have tons of energy.

In terms of movement, if you want to feel more vibrant, you want to feel more confident, typically, that starts with moving your body. Your body is designed to move, right? So, what does that look like? And then going back to being realistic with where you're at. If you're used to three days a week working out and you want to ultimately get to that goal of five days a week, slowly easing your way in there. So having that concrete plan with the macro and the micro goals, and then also with mindset. You want to have more peace in 2020, start your gratitude practice. I have a podcast episode talking about the 10 things that I do every morning to set myself up for success. A huge part of that is being very particular and very protective of my time and my energy. And so, saying... You just saying, I want to meditate for 45 minutes, when you've never done that in your life, that's going to be pretty hard. And I can promise you, that you're probably going to get discouraged very quickly or you're just not going to stick with it long term.

And so, really easing yourself into that by having a plan, like, "Okay, this week I'm going to focus on this aspect of my morning routine. I'm going to focus on putting away my phone, sleeping with my phone out of the room, so that I don't get distracted. And I'm going to focus on... Next week I'm going to start journaling." Slowly easing your way into it and having those concrete plans. So that, by the end of each week you can look back and say, "How did I do with this week's plan in the overall perspective of the bigger plan?" The bigger concrete plan for the macro goal, if that makes sense.

Mistake number five, you aren't being consistent. So often, when we are on a quest of achieving our goals, we like to say, "Well I did it four days a week, doesn't that count?" Well yeah, absolutely, the four days a week count. But, what did you do on the other three days of the week? Tons of people struggle with this. They are really good about nourishing their bodies optimally for Monday through Friday or Monday through Thursday. And then Friday, Saturday, Sunday rolls around, and they just feel like, well, because I was so good Monday through Thursday, I deserve this. And they get into this mentality. And they don't recognize that four days a week on and three days a week being completely off track, they get frustrated because they're not staying consistent. So you have to be honest with yourself and you have to remember that your lack of consistency is what's failing you. I think oftentimes so many people are like, "Oh well, this workout routine is not working."

But the fact of the matter is that they're not being consistent with it. Or, they're saying, "Oh, this diet or counting macros isn't working." But they're not being consistent with it. So you have to remember, that it's consistency over perfection. Of course, we're going to have days where we fall off track, we are human. But you have to remember to remain consistent. And consistency over time, trumps perfection every single time. So, remember that consistency doesn't mean perfection, it just means that you are imperfectly sticking to your goals every day. Mistake number six, you are not being patient enough. Anybody else struggle with patients? I feel like I am a very impatient person by nature. I want stuff done and I want it done, yesterday. And when it's not done yesterday, I'm like, "This is taking too much time." And I just freak out.

You have to remember though, that long-term change does not happen overnight. And so, you should not and cannot give up or get frustrated as quickly as you are. Because so often I think, we try something for a week or two weeks or three weeks or even heck a month or six weeks, and when we don't see the change that we think we should see or the change that we think should happen, we throw in the towel. But I truly believe that patience is one of the best things that you can cultivate just as a human being and as a person who is a high achiever, which those who are listening to this podcast, I know that you are. I know that you're on a journey of bracing yourself more, of wanting to become more confident, of wanting to live on a higher vibration of your life.

And in order for you to truly uplevel your life, you've got to have patience. And so, remembering that even if you don't see the change that you want in that one month or two months or six months, you've got to remain consistent and remember that things are changing, you just might not be able to notice it right now. Remember that things are always changing and things are always working for us. But sometimes, we either, A, are not developed enough to see the things that are changing or, B, it's things that are unseen, that are key components that need to be changed in order for the bigger change of something that you will actually see down the road, for you to be able to appreciate that. So just remember that, even things that you might not be able to see, that things are changing. I promise you, if you stay consistent, if you stay patient, things will change in time that you'll be able to see.

And as a result, by you being more patient and trusting the process, you'll have developed characteristics that you wouldn't have otherwise if you just remained in this inpatient state of mind and heart. So I'm going to recap those six mistakes. Mistake number one, you aren't specific enough in what goal you want to reach. Mistake number two, you're only setting a macro goal and you're not breaking it down into micro goals. Mistake number three, you are not setting deadlines for yourself. Mistake number four, you have a specific goal but you don't have a concrete plan as to how you will reach it. Mistake number five, you aren't being consistent. And mistake number six, you are not being patient enough. I know that it feels so frustrating when you feel like you're working at something and you just feel like you're not there yet and you want to throw in the towel, but I truly believe that if you take these six things to heart and you actually start to work through them, I know that you will start to see change in whatever it is that you want to change.

Like I said, health and fitness journey, relationship, personal, financial, whatever goals you have that you just feel like you're not seeing change in, apply these things and I want to hear what comes from it. I want to hear how this episode changed your perspective or gave you an aha moment or things that you didn't even know were important that I brought up that you were like, "Oh, I didn't even think about that. And that's the key thing that's missing and that's why I'm not reaching my goal." So, be sure to screenshot this, post it up on your Instagram Story, tag me, juliealedbetter. I want to see it, I want to celebrate it with you. And be sure to share this podcast with someone who might be in the same state as you or someone that you know is just struggling, and they just need this boost of encouragement, they need these practical tips so that they can start to actually achieve things and achieve the goals that they have in mind. I love you. And I will talk to you guys in the next episode.

All right, sister, that's all I got for you today. But, I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you're not already following me on the ground, be sure to do so, juliealedbetter. Yes, it's with A in the middle. For that, daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts, to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world, and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace your real, because, you're worth it.

 
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