3 Ways to Stop Feeling Like a Failure
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Are you feeling like a failure, or feeling like you should be further along in your life by now? Maybe you feel like you should already be married, have those kids, and be living in that house. Or maybe you feel defeated because no matter how hard you try, nothing seems to work out, and success seems so far out of reach. Whatever you think your life should be, and whatever it is that's making you feel like a failure, I have three important things I need to share with you. After listening, I know you will have a completely new perspective on your “failure.”
TRANSCRIPT:
Hey, hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real. Let's get it. Let's go.
Tony Robbins once said, "I've come to believe that all my past failure and frustrations were actually laying the foundation for the understanding that have created the new level of living that I now enjoy." This episode is for you if you're feeling like a failure or you're feeling like you should be further along in your life by now. Maybe you feel like you should be married or have that kid or have a house or already have that promotion or feel like you already need to be completed in your career and well on your way. Whatever you think your life should be and whatever it is that's making you feel like a failure, I have three important things that I'm going to be sharing with you today.
Number one, you've got to realize that success is merely a matter of perspective. What success is for one person is not what it is for you. Just because success to one person is having a kid or having a career by the time they're 30, that does not mean that that's what success needs to be for you. The definition of success is whatever you make it. It is up to you to define what success means to you. No one else's input is needed to be considered in that definition, because no one but you truly knows what you want and what will make you happy and what will make you fulfilled and what is your calling and what you feel gifted in and all of those things.
If you follow someone else's definition of success, you're going to be ultimately following a path that is not for you. You could be successful in their eyes, but by the time you are following that, you're going to be so unhappy with your life because you're not truly listening to your heart and what you need to follow. So, you need to stop letting someone else's version of success make you feel bad about where you are in your life.
Reminder number two, you've got to embrace your failure. You guys, failure is essential in the formula of success. Nothing in life is handed to us. Let me rephrase that. Nothing great in life is just handed to us. Failure is not the opposite of success. Failure is interwoven. Failure is a part of success. So, if we don't give ourselves the space to fail, we will never give ourselves the space to succeed. Tom Watson, the CEO of IBM said, "If you want to succeed, you need to double down on your failure rate." He isn't the only successful person in the world that believes this. Failure is inevitable on the route to success. You've got to fail fast so you can succeed sooner.
Something that is super important to remember is just because you're struggling, that does not mean that you are failing. Nothing in life is handed to us, and it's so important that we continue to push through the struggle. We continue to ask ourselves, why are we going through this? This is for me, so how am I going to learn about this? What am I going to learn about myself? What am I going to learn about life? What characteristics am I going to be developing in this hard season, this hardship of my life? And keep pushing through. We are all human. The only way to figure life out is by living. It's by going through the struggles, by messing up, by missing an opportunity, by seeking advice and not taking it. I'm guilty of this way too often. There are so many lessons learned. And without learning those lessons, you would not be growing. Failure feeds our growth. Accept it, embrace it, and trust each failure is bringing you closer to where you want to be.
Reminder number three, you've got to let go. Trust that life will work itself out. It is okay to not understand why things are happening the way that they're happening right now. Sometimes we have no freaking idea what to do, who you are, what's happening next. And yes, it's scary, but I have to remind you that it is okay. Just because you don't have the answer right now does not mean that you will never have the answer. Just because you aren't where you want to be right now doesn't mean you will never get there. Just because things aren't happening the way that you plan them right now doesn't mean that they will never happen.
Do not rush your life. Let life unfold the way that it's meant to unfold, when it's meant to unfold. Sometimes, the answers aren't meant to come to you until later. Sometimes, you need to learn something before you actually go to something else. Sometimes, you need to develop certain characteristics or perseverance in order for you to truly thrive in the next season of your life. Just know that everything will work out exactly the way that it's supposed to be. You're right where you are currently at for a reason, and your life will play out the way that it needs to, for a reason. Sometimes, we will know the reason tomorrow. Other times, we won't know that reason until years from now, but you've got to trust it. You've got to trust that you will eventually get to where you need to be. You may never know the reason, but you always have to trust that there is a reason for what you're going through.
So, what can you do right now? You've got to let go of control. You got to stop overthinking your life. You do not need to have all of the answers right now, so stop using up all of your energy on trying to find the answers or trying to force your life to be a certain way. You've got to let go of control and instead, focus on mastering today and keep doing that. What you do, day after day, inevitably, good things will come your way. All right? When you are living the life to the best of your ability, it's literally impossible for good things or for things to reap in time. Your fruit will bear. Trust it. Trust it when it is a seed in the ground, trust it when it is flourishing. You've got to trust it. Focus on your inner growth and in due time, it will reveal itself externally. Wait, just wait.
I have one last piece of advice for you. Please let go and just trust that everything right now, everything that you are experiencing right now, is happening for you, not to you. Relax. It will all end up the way that it's supposed to in due time. I love you. I hope that this episode encouraged you, empowered you. Screenshot this, post it up on your Instagram stories. Tag me, Julia Ledbetter. Tag five girlfriends or five people in your life that need to hear this message right now. I'm telling you, copy this link. Share it in a text message. Share it up on your Facebook, share it up on your Instagram, share it up on whatever other social platforms you use. That is all that I have for today's episode. I love you so much and I will talk to you guys in the next one.
All right, sister, that's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you're not already following me on the 'gram, be sure to do so, Julie A Ledbetter. Yes, it's with A in the middle. For that daily, post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world, and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface, so go out there and embrace your real. Because you're worth it.