5 Unconventional Ways to Surround Yourself with More Like-Minded Humans
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We’ve all heard it before: You are the sum of the 5 people you associate with most.
The people you spend the most time with shape who you are. They determine what conversations dominate your attention. They affect which attitudes and behaviors you are regularly exposed to. Their habits dictate your habits. Eventually you start to think like they think and behave like they behave.
If they are constantly skip workouts, you will, too. If they are constantly eat foods that fail to nourish their body, you will, too. If they are constantly saying poor things about their body, you will, too. If they think they aren’t good enough, you will start to think that, too.
On the flip side, if you surround yourself with people who are dedicated, hard working, confident, positive, and motivating, you will become these things, too.
So, take a look at who you are spending your time AND whose content you are consuming the most whether it’s Instagram, TikTok, Youtube, podcasts, etc. Who are the people that you are spending the most time with in person and online? Are they helping you get closer to where you want to be, are the pushing you further away, or are they simply not contributing anything at all?
While I’m not suggesting you just ditch the people who are helping you, but I do want to bring up the idea of the importance of spending time with people who influence you positively. But I understand that is easier said than done and that’s why I want share some simple and unconventional ways to add more positive influential people into your life.
What I discussed:
Rethink Instagram by curating your feed.
Listen to podcasts daily.
Read a book for 10-20 minutes daily.
Find in-person meet-up groups.
Join online groups.
Link mentioned in this episode:
Episode 8 (throwback!): Removing Negative People from Your Life
If you want more from me, be sure to check out:
Instagram: @embraceyourreal | @movementwithjulie
Transcript:
Hey there, beautiful human. You're listening to Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter. A podcast where I empower you to just be you. With each episode, I issue a dose of real talk and actionable advice for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real. Let's get hugs, girl. Hello and welcome back to another episode on the Embrace Your podcast. I am so pumped for today's episode. You've heard it. We've all heard this. You are the sum of the five people that you associate with most, and really the people that you spend the most time with really do shape who you are, right? They determine what conversations dominate your attention. They affect which attitudes and behaviors you regularly expose yourself to. Their habits can even dictate your habits. And eventually you might start to think like they do or behave like they do. If you are around people who are constantly skipping workouts, then you might be prone to skipping your workouts too. Or if they're constantly, you know, eating foods that are failing to nourish their body, then you're more likely to kind of cave in and do the same, right? If they're constantly saying poor things about their body, then it's likely that you might start to think and say those things about your body as well, right? If they think that they're not good enough, then you might start to think that too. Whereas on the flip side, if you're surrounding yourself with people who are dedicated, people who are hard working, who are confident, who are positive and motivating, you will likely start to become those things as well. So I want you to really take a look at who you are spending your time with and not only in person, who are the people that you're spending time with, but who's content? Are you consuming them most, whether that's Instagram or TikTok or YouTube or podcasts or whatever social platforms you are on, who are the people that you are spending the most time with in-person and online? Since we are such a virtual, you know, society now, we spend more times than not. We spend more time consuming stranger's content than we do people that we even know in real life and in person are these people that you're consuming, whether it's in person or online, are they helping you get closer to where you want to be or are they pushing you further away and simply not contributing to anything positive in your life? Well, I'm not suggesting that you just completely ditch the people who are helping you. I do want to bring up the idea of the importance of spending time with people who influence you positively, because I really think that that's important. And of course, it's way easier to understand and it's way harder to do. And so I wanted to kind of share some unconventional ways that I believe will add more positive, influential people to your life and can really help you connect yourself with more like minded human beings. Before we dove in, though, I wanted to share this review. It comes from Pam Buckler, 20. She gave a five star review and said Absolutely the best podcast there is five plus stars. Whoa, I love this. This is such a bold statement and I'm so grateful, she said. Julie's podcast Embrace Arielle is absolutely the best and most refreshing there is. Julie is uplifting, motivating and super inspirational. I can listen and listen to our episodes back at back to back. And every episode speaks to me. Julie speaks the truth in all things. Thank you, Julie, for this amazing show and motivating me on some of my hardest days. Let's get it. Let's go. I love this so much, Pam. Thank you so much for your uplifting and really just inspiring review that just brings so much joy to my heart. I'm so grateful for this community. I know I say it on a regular basis, but you guys, the podcasts community, you guys are my you're my true people like you guys tune in to my voice for sometimes 30, 40 minutes and that's just crazy to me. So I'm grateful for you. I am so thankful that you took time out of your day, Pam, to send this in. If you could scooch over to Apple Podcasts and leave your reading interview, it really does help us out. It blesses us more than you know, and it just allows us to be able to connect with more people, which is the ultimate goal of this podcast. So there you have it. Let's dove into the five things that I want you to start doing to surround yourself with the right people. Number one, I need you to start to rethink Instagram or Tik Tok or Pinterest or YouTube. You fill in the blank whatever social media that you are on most, but we all know that we should unfollow people that don't add value to our lives, or at least at the very least meet them, especially if they're, you know, family members. And you don't want to start a whole drama, especially as we head into the holiday season, which can already be kind of drama filled. We already know that. We know that we can mute those people and we know that we should unfollow the girl. You know, that makes us feel like our body isn't good enough or that girl that makes us feel like we always need to buy the next thing or whatever it is. So, yes, I want you to go through and I want you to purge. I want you to start unfollowing those people. But I also want you on the flip side to be extremely intentional about how you curate your feed, the people that are pouring into you, whether you realize it or not. I mean, there was a study shown that people spend on average, you guys, this is so insane. On average, people spend an. Hour a day on Instagram stories, people watching Instagram stories. That's so wild to me. You know, I don't really utilize Instagram stories that much anymore. I don't know. I just kind of maybe got out of the habit. And so I don't post a lot on Instagram stories as well as don't really consume a ton of Instagram stories. But I know a lot of you guys out there are and I know you know, and I'm not saying, you know, I'm better than anybody else. I definitely I consume a lot of YouTube, like I consume a lot of podcasts. I consume a lot of just kind of a long content form. Like that's kind of where I'm at recently, but I want you to if you're going to be consuming that much of Instagram stories or even just content on Tik Tok or Instagram, I need you to be following people. That is encouraging you, that's inspiring you, that's challenging you to become better because you can absolutely do that. And what's really cool specific to Instagram is that there's an awesome feature which which allows you to really select your favorites and so you can favorite people which will pop up first. Because I know when you go on Instagram, you might be following, I don't know, 400 people or 500 people. I some people follow like 3000 people. And so when you go to watch your Instagram stories, just random people show up. And again, that's nothing bad with it. But if you really want to be intentional about what you're consuming, then you need to start to favorite the people that are really adding value to your life from your following list. And those people will show up first. And if you're unaware of how to do this, this is how you do it. You can go to the person's profile that you want to add to your favorites. Click Follow. If you're obviously not already following them and once you're following them, you'll see a dropdown arrow on the following bottom and it will allow you to select add to favorites, right? And then you're able to view your favorites. You can go to your Instagram feed and you can with the dropdown corner in the left, you can click favorites, and that will allow you to only view your favorites. And then you can switch back and forth like if you want to go to your regular feed. But I think that this is really cool and this is awesome for you to be able to have accounts that you're following that really, truly add value. So that way when you go on Instagram or when you go on these social media platforms, you're doing it with intention, you're doing it with a specific purpose instead of just mindlessly doing it because the mindless scrolling and the mindless consumption of Instagram is really when it can become dangerous and when it is really not adding value of anything, it might be taking away from things. It might be, you know, encouraging you to be critical of your body or be critical of your your circumstance that you're in or whatever it is. Right. And so I want you to find people in the different areas of your life. So for me, you know, that spiritual that is, I like to know what's going on in the world. I like to see my friends like my actual, like in-person friends. I love to see them. And so curating like a favorites list where not only going to inspire you, but they're going to educate you. So for example, if you want to get more educated and see my Julie, I post on that a lot more than my personal. I'm really trying to get better at my personal account. I feel like I just kind of left my personal account in the dust this year. But I am I have a plan starting in the New Year to really get back to my actual personal account. But I post every day on me and with Julie it's my demo workouts if you want to feel encouraged and inspired and I showcase a lot of them with Julie women on there so that can also be helping you. I also educate you on form and and different movements and things like that, right. So you can follow an account like that. Or if you want to learn more about psychology, if you want to learn more about, you know, mindset or whatever it is following these people that will not only inspire you, but that they'll educate you, they'll empower you. Right? So another example, right? If you want to become a writer, you would want to add accounts that are sharing, writing literature, that are sharing how to's or they're sharing tips or things that are going to inspire you to write more. Were really in this stage in our life right now where we're going kind of all in on DIY again. I feel like you kind of get hit by the DIY bug. It's a random thing that will hit you at the most random time and oftentimes it's like not the best time to do it. Like, life is busy, you got a lot going on and then you get bit by this DIY bug and then you want to start doing everything, which is kind of the place that Joshua and I are in. So we're currently DIY and when I say we, I mainly mean Joshua. He's awesome and he's been filming this whole entire thing, so stay tuned. He's got something exciting in the works there because he really has been going all in on his carpentry skills and he is the if there's any person that would be good at that side tangent, it's Joshua because he is so protective. User and patient as all get out. He's the most patient human being I've ever met, but he's also the most particular type A person. And you want that especially with a good DIY, because I've definitely seen DIY go good, but I've also definitely seen DIY go bad. So anyways, all that to say, I have really been following a lot of DIY ers again and really getting, you know, inspiration from them. Like how are they doing ship up on the walls or what kind of color accents are they pairing together and just kind of learning more about that because I've never really been intentional about learning interior design, and I don't know if this is like a new stage of me as I get into my thirties. You know, I'm 32. I really want to make my home a home. I want to make it beautiful. I want me to feel at home as well as like welcoming people into our home. I want them to feel like they're in a cozy and inviting environment. And so, yeah, all that said, I've been getting really into that, but whatever it is, finding like what you're passionate about or what you want to learn more about and really curating that number to listen to podcasts daily. Right? So if you're already listening to this podcast, obviously you're listening to my voice. I want to encourage you to find some other podcasts that inspire you, that motivate you, that help you, you know, get closer to who you want to be or teach you about something. There's so many podcasts out there and there are so many episodes out there. So even if you're like me, you know, I don't I don't have a ton of podcasts that I love or connect with. I can just tell you straight up, I have over 280 episodes waiting for you to tune in, and I know that that will take you a while to get through. So if you want to kind of go back and listen to some episodes or maybe relisten in some episodes because we're all growing and we're all evolving. And, you know, I could listen to the same content two or three times and more times than not get something new out of it every time. So I encourage you to do that. If you want to learn more about, you know, money or relationships, there's a podcast for that. I love tuning in to our pastor. So we are we go to Flatirons Church. Well, we go online virtually because there's not a in-person church near us. It's in Lafayette, which is about two and a half hours from us in Colorado Springs. But I, you know, tune in to our church every single week. My pastor also has a Rethink podcast. I tune in to that and just learn more about, you know, biblical truths and things like that. And so whatever you are wanting to learn about, I can tell you there is content that will literally last you a lifetime. All you have to do is curate your feed. So just like you're going to curate your Instagram feed, I want you to curate your podcast feed. So follow the podcasts, subscribe to the podcast that you want episodes to be. Just automatically download it into your library on a weekly basis that is going to help you so much and you can integrate that into your daily routine, right? So whether you're driving, whether you're walking, whether you're working out, you're unloading the dishwasher, that's the beautiful thing about podcasts is that you can truly do more things at once, right? And I just love that. I love especially when, you know, we've been doing this DIY thing. Like I can turn on a podcast and I can listen as well as paint or as well as put up zip lap or whatever it is. So I love that part about podcasts, but really be intentional about curating that feed of podcast. Number three is reading books. This is a hard one. This is honestly, I love what I get out of books, but I really think I have undiagnosed ADHD because I cannot sit down for more than 20 minutes and read a book, and that's okay. So I want to encourage you, just like I'm challenging myself and Joshua has challenged me, like dedicate yourself to just 10 to 20 minutes a day, start with 5 minutes, then go up to 10 minutes. And even if you stay at that, you know, 15 to 20 minute marker every single day, that's amazing. Pick some books that will get you closer to your goals or something that you want to learn about. I know on my Amazon storefront I have some amazing books, mostly on like self-love and just coming from like a biblical standpoint on that, I have a few books that I have really enjoyed and that have been total game changers, and then another book that was really challenging in my mindset. And so I have all those books on my Amazon storefront as well as Atomic Habits by James Clear. Absolutely freaking love that book. I feel like every time I read it or listen to it on an audiobook, I get something new from it. And so I encourage you just take five, ten, 20 minutes a day to just read. And I know it's going to be hard at first. It really it it's hard to get into, especially if you're not a reader. But the more that you do it, the more it just becomes a habit. And once the habit, it's a lot harder to break. So reading books is going to be key to surrounding yourself with more like minded humans. Number four Find in-person meetup groups, right? So if you are wanting to actually connect, which I encourage people to do this, I think it's really important to have a healthy balance between in-person connection as well as. Virtual connection. I truly will die on this hill that I believe that in-person connection cannot be and will never be replaced by virtual connection. Like virtual connection just doesn't give you the same energy as when you're in a room with human beings. So whether that's joining a book club or that's joining a mom's group or that's joining something at church, or it's a conference at your attending or seminar or workshop or whatever it is, there's so many groups that you can get involved in within your community. And you know, I've even seen people use I personally have not used it, so I'm not endorsing it. But I've seen people use Bumble Bee face to find best friends, not even for dating, like just to find people that have similar interests. So again, not endorsing that, I've personally never been on it. I don't know what it's like, but that's definitely there's so many apps, there's an app for everything now. So get creative about the ways that you find the people that are really going to help you grow in the direction that you want to grow. Like don't sit on the sidelines and just wait for them to appear. Start Googling, start looking, looking them up, start you know, researching for a workshop or looking for a church group or a book club or whatever it is. And who knows? If you can't find what you're looking for, you might be the person to literally start something in your community. And I know that sounds scary, and I know that you might be hearing my voice saying, like, there's absolutely no way there's no way that that that I'm a leader or that I could do that. I'm telling you, you can if there's a will, there's a way. And if you do not have any sort of group that you are wanting to connect with, and you're like, Man, I just wish that this community had X group and it's not available. Guess what? You're there. You why don't you start it? And you could really you could step out of your comfort zone and start that. That could be a January 2023 New Year's resolution that I'm challenging you to do. So number four, find in-person meetups or group. And lastly, number five, join online groups. So like I just said, I think that there's a time and place for in-person, but I also think that there's a time and place for online. And I think that both of them are important in our life because we are such a virtual society. I do think that it's important that we prioritize online groups as well, and online groups and communities are huge. I feel like there are so many content creators in every single niche that you can imagine that has an online community waiting for you to join. For example, my movement with Julie Group, I'm in that group every single day. It's on Facebook. I absolutely love it. One of these days we might move it into the app. That is definitely an update that is in the works and we're kind of talking about as Facebook starts to slowly die out. But for the time being, this private Facebook group is amazing. There's over 3000 women in it. It's incredible. I absolutely love seeing the sweaty selfies. I genuinely feel like I'm working out alongside of people every single week and it's so encouraging. I feel like I'm a part of their life and I hope that they feel like they're a part of ours. And people connect. They meet each other in real life. They get their workouts in together. And it's just an amazing opportunity to be able to meet like minded women who are all working towards a similar goal, and especially when it comes to something like health and fitness, where motivation can so easily come and go. Having a community that you can always fall back to is critical, in my opinion, for staying the course and really seeing results long term. So whatever area of life that you're wanting to expand in, I can assure you that you can find an online group full of people that are working towards the same goal. So let me recap those five unconventional ways that you can surround yourself with more like minded humans. Number one, rethink your Instagram by curating your feed or fill in the blank social media. Number two, prioritize to listening to podcast daily, even if that's, you know, one podcast a day that you're doing in the car or while you're emptying the dishwasher or while you're taking a bath or whatever it is. Number three, commit to reading a book for 10 to 20 minutes daily. You can even start with 5 minutes, start slow. But I encourage you to have a book that you dove into and read it physically. I know some people. The people that read electronically are going to come after me, but I'm telling you, there is nothing like a legit book in my hands. I feel like I get less distracted and I know all the Kindle people are like screaming and saying Absolutely not. But I personally encourage you to get an actual book. If not, I'm not going to come at you for Kindle, at least. At the very least, I just want you to commit to reading for at least 10 minutes a day. Number four, find an in-person meet up or group, and number five, join an online group. So there you have it. Those are the five unconventional ways to surround yourself with more like minded humans. I hope that this encouraged you. I hope to this may be gave you some food for thought. If anything, I really, really hope that you curate your favorites on Instagram and just start to be more intentional every time you. Open up the app on your phone and really just try to come after social media as it being something that can teach you and that can educate you and empower you instead of leaving you feeling even more confused or more frustrated or feeling, you know, like you're not you're not worthy or or feeling like you're less than like I don't want that for you, and I know you don't want that for you. So also, if you love this episode, I know you'll also love episode eight. It is a throwback that is in the single digits of embrace Israel. So can't tell you. I don't know how my voice sounds there. I feel like my voice has grown as I've done the podcast. I can't tell you if it's going to be a nervous voice back there, but episode eight is a throwback removing negative people from your life. I will link that in the show notes below, so go tune in to that now so that you can have some more real talk on removing negative people from your life. That is all that I have for today's episode. I love you so much. We have a girlfriend, a friend, or someone in your life that you feel like would benefit from this episode. I just ask that you share it out with them. You can also copy the links, energy them in a text message, or you can screenshot this and post it up on your story. I love you. I'll talk to you in the next one. The bye. All right, sister. That's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so, Julie. A lot better. Yes. It's with a name in the middle for that daily poser about real talk. Healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember, that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace your real because you're worth it.