3 Ways We Self-Sabotage
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Hey, sister! Are you the reason why you’re not getting what you want in life? I think it’s time we talk about self-sabotaging…Most often, we are our own worse enemy. The reason why we don’t get what we want in our lives many times comes back to ourselves, whether we realize it or not. We fall victim to our stories, our thoughts, and our beliefs about ourselves which leads us to self-sabotage. So in this episode, I want to help you recognize how you might be self-sabotaging and what you can do to overcome it.
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Hey, hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace you real. Let's get it, let's go.
Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome back to the Embrace Your Real Podcast. I am so thankful that you are here, girl. We're talking about self-sabotage. Now, I know most of us are our own worst enemy. The reason why we don't get what we want in our lives is because it often comes down to self-sabotage. Whether we realize it or not, we fall victim to our stories, our thoughts, our beliefs about ourselves. So in today's episode, I want to help you recognize how you might be self-sabotaging. Don't click off this yet. If you're like, "Nope, that's not me," please hear me out. It's a five minute bonus episode.
Before I dive in, I want to share the quick review of the day. Brittany B93 says, "I only started listening to Julie's podcast yesterday and I'm seven episodes in. I've been following Julie on Insta for quite some time, and only now just decided to give her podcast a shot. Guys, this is like having a conversation with your BFF. Coming from a place of love, Julie drops truth bombs like no other. Not only does she speak honesty, she gives actionable advice for you to try. I couldn't be more appreciative of the mindset that Julie conveys, her sense of peace and her love for helping women. Julie, thank you. This will be a podcast I binge, and then go back again and again."
Thank you so much, Brittany, for the review. If you haven't already rated and review the podcast, please take two seconds. Okay. It maybe takes like 40 seconds, scroll all the way down if you listen on Apple Podcasts, literally you just hit click rate and review. If you do, please send it to me in a DM so I can personally say thank you. I love connecting with you guys and it really does help us out on the podcast.
All right, let's go back to self-sabotage. Now, the number one way that we self-sabotage is believing our thoughts as facts. We need to realize that just because we think something does not mean that it is a true statement. So every time we have a thought, we need to question its validity. Is this actual truth? Is this actually the way that it is? Or is this something that I have imagined? Is this something I have built up to be bigger than what it really is? I love this quote by Peter Crone. He said, "Add a question mark to every thought that you think."
I think oftentimes we literally think that what we think is true and we live in that state of mind as living as all of our thoughts are facts. I truly think that this quote, add a question mark to every thought, is one of the best piece of advice that we could ever receive because ultimately it is our thoughts that form our reality. So if we start to question our thoughts more, our reality will begin to hold more actual truth. The more you start to question yourself, the more you'll realize that your thoughts have absolutely no validity to them.
If you were to look at proof to prove your thoughts as truth, you most likely won't be able to find substantial evidence a lot of the time. We are so influenced by things that we're constantly seeing on social media. We are constantly looking at something and immediately comparing it to what our reality is. And then we start to think something, and then we let that thought become a fact. And then we live in that form of a fact and that's where we imprison ourselves. So you've got to start questioning what you're thinking. That's not a bad thing to do, right?
The second way that we self-sabotage is by holding ourselves to the wrong standards. There are typically three different standards that we like to hold ourselves to. And all three trigger us to self-sabotage. Number one, we hold ourselves to impossible standards, AKA, we think our lives need to look like someone else's highlight reel that actually isn't real. Or we think our bodies need to look like this girl on Instagram or this girl on TikTok who actually edits every single photo and knows every trick in the book for finding the right angle, the right lighting to make herself look more toned or skinnier. These are impossible standards because the people you are idolizing aren't actually living like that and don't actually have bodies like they're highlighting on social.
Number two, we hold ourselves to old standards. Just because we used to run five miles every day doesn't mean that we should think less of ourselves for not doing that now. And just because we used to weigh 115 pounds does not mean that we need to weigh that today. We are different than who we were five years ago, a year ago, and even 15 minutes ago. So stop holding yourself to that old standard that isn't right for your life right now. As we change, our expectations of ourselves need to change as well.
And number three, we hold ourselves to somebody else's standards. We self-sabotage by thinking we need to meet somebody else's standards at the expense of our own health and happiness. We sacrifice our self-love, our overall wellbeing to morph ourselves into what we think others want us to be. We sacrifice embracing our real to become a forced version of ourself. Now, I want to encourage you to evaluate your standards and expectations of yourself. Why are these your standards? Why do you have these expectations for yourself? Like seriously sit down right now and answer those two questions because I'm guessing it will definitely help you put them into perspective and help you realize that your expectations for yourself need to be different.
The third and last way that we self-sabotage or at least that I'm going to talk about right now in the pod is thinking somebody else is better than us. It's our tendency to always think that there is someone out there that's prettier, more talented, more qualified, more, more, more, more, whatever more in your life is. And we allow that belief that someone else is better to stop us from even going after the things that we want.
Sure. There's always going to be more talented, more qualified people out there, but who says that they're better? Maybe they are. Maybe they aren't, but you aren't the one who determines that. For example, maybe there's a job out there that you don't think you're good enough for. You don't think you're qualified enough for, and so you don't even allow yourself the opportunity to get in that room for an interview. Maybe there is a goal that you've wanted to pursue, but you've told yourself, well, I've never been able to do that. So what makes me think that I'll be able to do that now? And you're stopping yourself before you even put one foot forward.
Stop letting your idea that somebody else is better or more qualified hold you back from even starting. If you do, you will never, ever, ever get what you truly want in your life. You will be living in this reality that this person's better. This person's more qualified. I could never. Cut that crap, sister. Cut it out. There is nobody else in your life to tell you this, I will deal it 100 to you. You go after the thing that you want in your life, because that passion, because that desire is in your heart for a reason. You were born for such a time as this.
Stop thinking that there's someone more qualified out there. And guess what? Even if you go for that job that you have told yourself I'm not qualified for this, and even if you don't get it on the first time or the fifth time or the 50th time, do not let that stop you from pursuing something that your heart desires. There's a reason that you desire in the first place. So if you get in on the first time or you get it on the hundredth time, once you get it, it will be so, so, so sweet because you know that you worked for that. You know that you pursued something that you desired and you didn't let self-sabotage hold you back, right?
Stop thinking that you can't do it. You can do whatever you set your mind to. Whatever you set your mind to, you can accomplish. The only real difference between you and the people who you think are better than you is that they actually believe in themselves. They actually are willing to take a chance on themselves. That's truly all that it is. And I'm going to go back to what I discussed earlier, the next time that you think someone else is better, add a question mark to the end of that thought, is that person actually better? Where did you get that information from? Do you know this as a fact? Do you have proof?
Most likely no. So go for it. If you believe that your thoughts are facts, and if you're holding yourself back from impossible standards and you believe everybody else is better than you, you most likely need to change the story that you are telling yourself in the first place. If you haven't already tuned into episode 19, I share five steps for changing your story. I really tried to give you practical tips and tricks with a whole lot of actual, just you got to do this girl. So check that out. I've linked it in the show notes, episode 19 five steps for changing your story.
But before I go, let me recap. The number one way we self-sabotage is by believing our thoughts as facts. So start questioning every thought that you have. The second way that we self-sabotage is by holding ourselves to the wrong standards. So start questioning why you're holding yourself to a certain standard in the first place. And third way that we self-sabotage is by thinking someone else is better than us. So what if someone is better, you can still go after your dreams anyway. I'm here for you. I'm rooting for you. You've got this. You are born for such a time as this. You have these passions, you have these desires, you have this skillset for a reason.
Yeah. When you first go and try something, you're going to suck. You might suck on the first time. You might suck on the 50th time, but do not let that stop you from going and growing. Put one foot in front of another. Stop letting yourself believe these lies. These lies are not for you. These lies are against you. And if you constantly live in that mindset, you will be in prison by these lies for the rest of your life.
I love you so much. If you have somebody in your life that needs to just listen to this real talk for 11 minutes, please, please, please click those three dots on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Click copy link. You can share it out in a text message. Share it out on your socials. Be sure to screenshot this episode, post it up on your story. Tag me juliealedbetter. I'd love to know what came from it. I'd love to know kind of your aha moments. I love you so much, girl, and I will talk to you in the next episode.
All right, sister, that's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you're not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so, juliealedbetter. Yes. It's with an A in the middle for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode.
Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world. And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace your real because you're worth it.