Where Your Body Image Issues Stem From Part 1
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For the women with a poor body image, I have a serious question to ask you: Where did it stem from?
At what age did you start to view your body different?
What happened at the time that triggered you to change your view on your body?
Whatever it is, why are you still clinging onto it today?
If we want to change the way we feel about our bodies, a huge stepping stone is determining where it all began. We need to know the root cause, because those roots are causing more and more weeds to grow, per se, and if we pul the roots, we can stop more weeds from growing.
In this episode of the Embrace Your Real podcast, I dive into where your body image issues could have potentially stemmed from and why you're holding on to it today.
What I discuss:
Parent or Guardian body image.
Family comments.
People you have dated in the past.
The lack of control you have in your life or had in your life.
Not having a passion or a passion.
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TRANSCRIPT:
Speaker 1: [00:00:00] Hey. Hey, beautiful human. Can I steal 5 minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Rail with Me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned. If you're ready to embrace a real. Let's get it. Let's go. Today we're chatting about body image and poor body image at that. I have a serious question. Ask you if you have struggled with body image or you're currently struggling with body image, where did that stem from? When did you begin to develop this negative view about your body and why? At what age did you start to view your body differently? What happened at that time that maybe triggered you to change your view on your body and whatever it is? Are you still clinging on to it today? And if so, why? I think that if we want to change the way that we feel about our body is a huge kind of stepping stone in that journey is really determining where it all began. Right? We need to know the root cause, because those root causes, those if not dealt with those, can cause more and more weeds to grow, per se. And if we pull the roots, we can really stop from those weeds growing. And we can also have a better understanding so that in the future, if something negative creeps in, we have kind of the tools and the knowledge, and I don't want to say expertise. I think we're constantly growing or constantly evolving. And, you know, even though my body image is way night and day different than it was ten years ago, you know, I still struggle with it. But I think that the more that we talk about this, the more that we kind of understand where they're stemming from and the issues are stemming from, the more we're able to be well equipped when we have negative things that come into our heads about this. So that's what we're going to be sharing or talking about all in today's bonus episode. Before I dive in, though, I wanted to share this review. It comes from Livin La Vida Coco. She gave a five star review and said, How am I just finding this podcast? I found Julianne Pinterest and gave her podcast a listen and based on a video clip she posted on there. And I'm so glad that I did. I love the content. It's relatable, digestible and useful. I always learn something that I can use immediately, and I'm going back to episode one and listening to everything. Well, livin La Vida Coco. First of all, I love that name. I am so grateful that you found me on Pinterest. Thank you so much Again, shout out to my Pinterest crew. You guys are going strong. This is back to back reviews this week of people that found this show from Pinterest. So if you're not already following me on Pinterest, just type in Julie. A Yes. Yes. With an A in the middle. A is an apple. Julie A lot better and you'll find me pop up. I share dumbbell workouts, I share Pinterest clips, I share some food things. I really need to get back into sharing more of my food stuff, but I'm so grateful for you. Thank you so much for leaving a radio interview. Okay, so let's dive into kind of where are your body image issues stemming from and this will likely be a part one of a few part. So stay tuned for parts two and maybe even part three. But I'm going to be starting with kind of sharing five places that your poor body image issues could have, you know, arisen from, number one, a parent, a guardian, their body image. So I want you to ask yourself, like the people that you grew up with in your house, how did your parents or guardians feel about their bodies? What kinds of comments did they make about their bodies? How did they treat their bodies? Was it, you know, for example, was your mom constantly making negative comments about her body? And it would, you know, start to make you think twice about yours? Would it start to make you question if something was wrong with your body, too, or if maybe your mom or your guardian was freely or regularly making negative comments about her body? It kind of normalized this body negativity and negative self-talk, which makes it a lot more likely for you to feel negatively about your body and start to see, you know, your body through the lens or what you heard, you know, your mom or your or your guardian talking about their body in a number to family comments. If growing up, your parents always made comments like you should need this or are you sure you want to eat that or you know, complete food groups should be off limits or your mom or your guardian was always on a diet and they were always saying, well, oh man, that would be nice if I could eat that too. Anything similar to that, that's going to make you start to question your body. It will likely make you develop an unhealthy relationship with food and, you know, thus leading to an unhealthy relationship with your body. You could also feel maybe like your parents or your guardian. You know, they didn't show love in a way that you felt that they truly loved you. Maybe they they wanted you to perform in a certain way. Especially my athlete. Girls who are listening to this, like you might have a parent or guardian that was constantly pushing you. And this can this can be for a number of different reasons. This could be, you know, them doing it naively and not even realizing the big impact that it had on your life. It could also be that they had so many unfinished dreams in their high school or college career that they, you know, kept telling themselves, I'm just going to push it on to my daughter or push it on to my son. And and then them not even really realizing how hard they're pushing you or the comments that they're making. And you know, how how negatively they can affect you. I know that this could also happen around Christmas or Thanksgiving, like the the comments that are said at the table or, you know, maybe that you oh, you look like you're you're looking really you know, like you're eating a lot or you're looking like you lost a bunch of weight or whatever it is. Like there's tons of comments that are always spun. And this could even not even be your parents. Your parents could be have been super healthy in terms of creating and cultivating a really healthy, you know, relationship with yourself and just a healthy and happy home. It could be friends. It could be, you know, extended family that you see throughout the year, whether you went on vacation to visit them a few times a year or they came to your house for Thanksgiving or Christmas or 4th of July or whatever it is. But those comments can really they can get to you and they can be you know, they could be an issue as to why maybe your body image. These stemmed from number three people that you've dated in the past. Let's be real. We all I mean, 95% of us, we've had some really crappy, significant others. I know personally, I have had some really crappy ones, honestly. And you know, we're all going through stuff in high school and college. I get it. But, you know, maybe they made some unnecessary comments about your body or their body, so much so that you were hearing that. And then that led you to believe that about yourself or they had, you know, expectations that they wanted you to look like X, Y and Z or whatever it is. Like those things can really have a lasting impact on the relationship that we have with our body and just know, like especially when I was, you know, a sophomore, junior Julie in high school, like the tiniest comment would really blow up in my mind. And that was really I was struggling a lot in my high school years, especially the end of high school going into college, like really, really struggling with my weight, man. I look back and I'm like, Oh, poor. Like, I don't want to say poor Julie, but dang, if I could like shake 14, 15, 16, 17 year old Julie and just say like, Oh my gosh, you are so beautiful. You do not need to lose weight. You do not need to fit into a size double zero like girl, you're five nine and you're taller than the majority of your classmates. You always have been like, I've always been like the taller girl. And man, it really it made a lasting impact, like the tiniest comments that people would make. And so maybe it was that. Maybe it people that you dated in the past, maybe it was friends that you had in the past comments that they would make. But I know personally, like in the past, if your partner is is not making you feel good about yourself, like you're going to constantly be in this spiral. Whereas on the flip side, if you have a really supportive partner, which I am, I, God literally knows that. Joshua Dean My husband, is everything I never knew I needed because he is the most encouraging, like hype partner I could have. And I'm so grateful for him. And ladies, if you are single out there, whether you're in college or you're out of college, you're in your thirties, you're in your forties and fifties, and you have yet to find your significant other. I want you to know that he is out there. I want you to be so patient. And I know that that's so easier said than done. But please just know that God has someone planned for you that is will exceed your wildest expectations if you just trust him. And man, I can just I'm just speaking from experience that when you have a supportive partner, that really does make all the difference when it comes to not only the relationship that you have yourself, but your relationship around food and self esteem and confidence, and also just like living in your day to day life, like Josh hypes me up all the time, like I'm wearing, you know, sweat pants and a baggy crewneck. And he's like, You're so beautiful. And I'm just like, Oh, I don't deserve you, but I just want you to know that that does have an effect and that definitely can be, you know, a culprit into where this negative body image is stemming from or has stemmed from in the past. Number four, the lack of control that you had, you have. In your life or you had in your life, right? Life is hard. Like whether your parents get divorced when you're a teenager, you are fired from a job. You can't find a new one. You had a really ugly breakup, whatever the circumstance might be. When we struggled to control it, we kind of start to turn to controlling our bodies and we really hyper fixate on the issues of our body. And I know for me personally, and this was huge. So my parents got a divorce when I was 14. And, man, I mean, I'm blessed to have two amazing parents. They're amazing individuals. I don't believe that they're the best together. And so, you know, years later, I can be grateful for both of them, each of them finding their own partners in life and kind of going their separate ways. But in the moment, for those few years, like, I felt like I had no control whatsoever. And I was so sad and like breaking the family is it really does impact your child. And so for me personally, I'm just speaking from experience. Like in high school, I felt like I couldn't control anything when it comes to like my family life. And so I and this isn't like, again, like I had I had an amazing family life. It wasn't like I was in an abusive household. No. Like, I'm so thankful that I don't have that that story because I know so many people do. And I just I really have sympathy for that. And I want you to know that, like, my heart breaks for you, that you had to go through that. But I couldn't control that aspect of my life. And so I turned to what I could control. And what I could control was gaining attention from older boys, especially in high school, like gaining attention from juniors and seniors and gaining attention from, by the way that I dress and the makeup that I wear and controlling my food intake so I could be as skinny as possible so I could, you know, gain the attention of more and more boys. And this was it really did stem from not having control in my life and also not recognizing that God was in control in my life the whole time. You know, he he was there. I just was not acknowledging that at that time and at that season in my life. But if you are struggling to have like control in your life, that can really be a stem of, you know, maybe why you're struggling with negative body image. And then lastly, number five, not having a passion for life or or really a passion for anything, right? And when we don't have something kind of else to focus on or we don't feel like we have a purpose in life, I really think that we start to look inward and we start to look at ourselves so much so that it becomes like narcissistic, almost like we're focusing, we're so hyper focus on us because we don't have anything else in our life that every tiny little thing becomes this big problem. Or we really start to like lack self-worth and self-esteem and start picking our self apart. And and it really can lead to emptiness and it can lead to a life that's unfulfilled and that can lead to negative body image. And so really lacking in purpose or lacking in a passion that can really be kind of an issue and where negative body image can stem from. And so I want to encourage you to find number one, I want you to know that you have a purpose. Every single person that is listening to this, you're alive and breathing. God has allowed you to live another day. And I never want you to take that for granted. And I know that life might feel like you're crap, like it's crashing in on you right now. But just know that there's a purpose far beyond what you can think of right now, and things will make sense in the future. Sometimes things that you go through or circumstances that happen, you might never find closure on Earth. And I know that that's like kind of an unsettling thought, but I find comfort in the fact that God is sovereign and there's always a purpose for everything. And even though we might not find out about it on this side of our life, I truly believe in heaven, like everything will make sense. But that's a different topic for a different day. But I just want you to know that you can, at any point in your life, try something new, a try a new hobby, develop a new friendship. Like there. It's it's it's amazing to know that we have that opportunity every single day. We wake up is a new, fresh opportunity to invest, to grow, to try something new, to do something that scares you. And that's the most beautiful part about life, is that we get to go through this life and grow every single day. And so if you're lacking in passion or you're lacking in purpose, first, I want to remind you, just as a sister like girl, you have. Purpose you do. Please lean into God like if you've never prayed before, pray. And I trust that the Holy Spirit is going to meet you right where you're at. But if you are just kind of feeling stagnant, just know that this season will not be forever and stay steadfast and remain hopeful that it won't be like this forever and that you are going to look back one day and be so grateful that you went through what you're going through right now because it will make you a better person. It will grow your character, it will develop you in in certain ways that maybe you didn't even know you could be grown into. And so I just want to encourage you that you are amazing, you are incredible, and you have so, so, so much purpose in this life. Please believe that. All right. So let me recap those five places that potentially your poor body image issue could have stemmed from, number one, a parent or guardian, kind of their body image. And you growing up in that household, what were what they were doing, what their habits were doing and the actions that they were taking on a daily basis. Number two, family comments. Number three, the people that you've dated in the past, significant others that you've had in the past. Number four, the lack of control that you either have in your life or you've had in your life that can lead you down this path of wanting to control the controllables. And our brain instantly goes to what we can control, what we look like, or we can control our food intake or whatnot. And lastly, number five lacking passion or purpose in our life. So there you have it. I know that that was kind of deep. And again, this is going to be, you know, a part one of maybe a part two or part three series. But I hope that it kind of just opened up the conversation for you if you've never thought about it before. I really think that it's important that we identify these things because like I mentioned earlier, it's really hard to uproot something if you don't know what the root cause is. And the more that we can kind of dig in and ask ourselves these hard questions and really think about these things, I think that will be better off because we will be able to identify certain things. And I personally, as a faith believer, I believe that when we have these things and we are being super mindful of like the past and certain like footholds that the enemy can have, we're able to pray about that. We're able to kind of look at things in the new perspective and say like, Man, like that. Really that part of my past. Like, yes, it was so hard. And yes, I really struggled with that. And it was because of X, Y and Z. But now that I know that I know that I'm not going to fall into that in the future and or or you're able to forgive your past or able to forgive certain, you know, people in your past. That doesn't always mean that you have to go and tell that person that you forgive them. You can forgive people in your heart and you can forgive certain circumstances in your heart. And I really think that forgiveness can set you free a lot in your life. And so anyways, I hope that this encouraged you. I know we kind of went deep, but that's that's the whole point. We got to embrace our real and I am so thankful for you. I would love to hear your thoughts on this podcast. I would love to hear kind of your aha moments and what you're thinking from here. If you have a girlfriend, a friend or someone in your life that you feel like would really benefit from this episode or this podcast in general, I just ask you share it out with them, You can copy the link, send it to them in a text message. You can also screenshot this and post it up on your Instagram or Facebook. Be sure to tag me so that I can connect with you. I love you so much and I will talk to you in the next time. All right, sister. That's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so. Julie. A lot better. Yes. It's women in the middle for that daily post workout. Real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world. And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace the real because you're worth it. [00:00:00][0.0]