Want to Be Happier? Avoid These 5 Mistakes…
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Lately I’ve been focusing pretty heavily on the health and fitness content and your relationship with your food, fitness and your body, but this week I wanted to bring you some real talk on LIFE.
Because the truth is, it’s all connected. The happier you become in your life, the easier your health and fitness journey becomes. And the happier you become in your life, the better relationship you develop with food, fitness, and your body. So in today's episode of Embrace Your Real, I want to highlight 5 common mistakes I see people make and what you can do to avoid making these 5 mistakes, too.
If you loved this episode, then you'll also love...
Episode 102: 2 Questions You Need to Ask Yourself About Your Future
TRANSCRIPT:
Hey there, beautiful human. You're listening to Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter, a podcast where I empower you to just be you. With each episode, I issue you a dose of real talk and actionable advice for building your confidence, honoring your body and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to Embrace Your Real. Let's get in, let's go.
Lately, I've been focusing pretty heavily on health and fitness content and your relationship with food, fitness and your body. That's why this week I wanted to bring you some real talk on life, because the truth is, it's all connected. The happier you become in your life, the better relationship you develop with food, fitness and your body. So today I want to highlight five common mistakes I see people make and what you can do to avoid making these five mistakes too.
But before I do, I have to dive in to this sweet review. It says, well, first off it's from, Yes Sir I'm Awesome, which P.S. Love your confidence. Secondly, they said, "Love the podcast. I'm a personal trainer and nutrition coach and love what Julie has to say. Each show offers so much, and I know it's a lot, but if there were a new show every day, that would be amazing. I often share thoughts from the show or an entire show with my clients to encourage them on their health and fitness journey. Thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom, Julie."
First of all, thank you so much. I appreciate this. This is one of the highest compliments I could receive as a health and fitness coach yourself. You sharing this content to your clients, that is what it is all about, is just spreading the message of Embrace Your Real. And like I said, I talk about food and fitness and your body, but I also talk about life and what's our purpose in life. And that's, in today's episode, exactly what I'm going to be sharing with you. And so, I know so many of us want to be happier. So today I want to dive into five mistakes that you need to avoid.
Number one, searching for your purpose. I hate to break it to you, but you won't abruptly wake up one morning and say, "That's my purpose." It's not going to magically appear out of nowhere or hit you over the head one day. I know we wish it would, but that's not how it works for most. Putting all of your focus on searching for your purpose won't bring you closer to your purpose. You're just going to get more stressed and unhappy in your life because you can't figure it out, and especially not in the timeline you'd like, which let's be honest as humans, we are very impatient, so if we don't find our "purpose" by the hypothetical date that we set in our minds, we get dissatisfied, frustrated and want to give up altogether.
So instead, here's what you can do. You can live an intentional life. Be intentional with everything that you do. Whether you believe it has meaning or not, do it to the best of your ability because everything is connected. So when you live intentionally, I believe that it will eventually lead you to where your purpose is. I also believe that praying about it as you work hard in your daily life and asking God to reveal it to you, as you put your hands on your heart to work each day.
Actually just finished the book of Ecclesiastes, and if there's one book in the Bible that will wake you up to what's most important in life, Solomon's words do just that. Ecclesiastes 11 four through six relate so much to what we're talking about. "Whoever watches the wind will not plant. Whoever looks at the clouds will not reap. As you do not know the path of the wind or how the body is formed in the mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the maker of all things. Sow your seed in the morning and an evening, let your hands not be idle for you do not know which one we'll succeed, whether this or that, whether born or whether both will do equally well."
So I want to encourage you to pray, be patient, pray for wisdom, do your best, and eventually you will find your purpose in this season of life. I also want to mention that I do think that being self-aware and having more self-awareness can help you lead you to your purpose and actually chat about that in episode 107, Seven Ways to Become More Self-Aware. I will link that in the show notes so that you can easily go listen.
Number two, not looking at the bigger picture. So many of us get caught up in our daily to do life and tasks and activities. We're running around here and there and doing all the things, and yet we feel like we can never get anything done. But what is it all leading to? Why are we stressing out about these little daily tasks if they aren't leading to bigger and greater things? Why are we letting these little tasks stand in the way of us working towards living the life that we actually want to live? So many people want a new career, but they never take the steps to actually start one. So many people want to live a healthier lifestyle, but never even take the first step to start. So many people want their lives to be different, but never take any action to actually make it different. They continue to get wrapped up in their day-to-day lives, feeling like they don't have time to create the life that they actually want.
So they say, "I'll do it when. When this or when that." Girl, it doesn't work like that. If you want your life to be, then you need to start working towards it daily. Realize that your day to day tasks don't matter if they aren't contributing to your life in the direction that you want it to go. So I want you to ask yourself every morning, what is one thing that I can do today that I can contribute to the future that I want? Just one thing. It can be big or small, but I want to challenge you to do that daily. If you're actually struggling with this and you're struggling to focus on your future, I actually have a podcast episode that you need to listen to ASAP, episode 102, Two Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Future. I will link that in the show notes as well, so that you can easily go fight and listen after this podcast.
Number three, fearing rejection and failure. Regretting what could have been will always way worse than any failure or rejection that you face. Think about it like this, would you rather there spend a few seconds feeling embarrassed or would you rather spend the rest of your life thinking what if? What could have been better? Go for it because rejection leads to clarity, failure leads to growth, both lead you to what you should actually be doing and where he should actually be going and who you should be doing that with. Remember that no one successful ever got to where they are without failing. But when they failed, they crossed off that list, okay, that way didn't work, and it brought them one step closer to what actually did work.
Most rejection isn't actually personal in the first place. It's typically that the timing is not right. The relationship didn't work out because it wasn't meant to be right now. The company didn't hire you because they decided to hire internally. It has zero reflection on your worth. Just some things aren't meant to be, and one day you will be thankful that you are rejected because it's going to lead you to where you should be. The thing is, you might learn that one month, one year or 10 years later, but eventually you will see why it all worked out the way that it did.
It actually reminds me of this Rascal Flatts song. Bear with me, I am not going to sing it. I'm going to share the lyrics. And the song is actually talking about love, but honestly you could fill in the blank about any situation. But it says that, "Every long lost dream led me to where you are. Others who broke my heart, they were like Northern Stars, pointing me on my way into your loving arms. This much I know is true, that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you. Yes, He did."
Honestly, I feel like that song just sums it up perfectly. Every road that you were on is going to be filled with failures and rejections, but if you continue to press forward and you continue to put yourself out there and you continue to take steps forward towards the life and the dreams and the goals that you have, eventually it will land to exactly where you're supposed to be. For me personally, the failures, the disappointments, the rejections that I've experienced thus far in my life, although not fun and have made me question things at times, have led me to exactly where I am in this moment, which is far beyond my wildest dreams. I actually have a podcast episode talking about overcoming the fear of failure, episode 113, Five Thoughts on Overcoming Your Fear of Failure, where I share my best advice on getting over this fear. Again, I will link that in the show notes for you to easily go listen to your podcasts queue.
Number four, not speaking up for what you want and how you feel. Newsflash, sister, no one can read your mind. You won't get what you ask for period. You cannot expect your husband to know exactly what you want for him or vice versa. You can't expect your boss to just magically give you the raise. If you don't express interest or sit down to even meet with them. You can't expect your family to help you if you don't ask for help. You can't expect your friend to know that they hurt your feelings if you don't tell them. I know we wish people knew these things, but they don't. You can't expect anything from anyone if you aren't clear about what you want and how you're feeling.
Trust me, I know open communication can be hard. Confrontation can be uncomfy and most people want to avoid it, myself included. But the thing is, what's most comfortable is sitting in your frustration or anger, which then creates bitterness, and that in it of itself can do a lot more damage to our life than we think.
Number five, prioritizing things and people that aren't actually priorities. And the last thing that I would want you to do when you're old is look back at your life and realize you made all the wrong things and all the wrong people and all the wrong values a priority. I want you to take a look at your life and see what you are spending the majority of your time and energy on. Are you putting work over your family? Are you putting weight loss above happiness? Are you putting a toxic relationship above lifelong friends? Are you putting other people's needs before your own to the point where it leaves you burnt out, unhealthy or resentful?
Seriously, sit down and evaluate what you are currently prioritizing and valuing most in your life, then I want you to think about you as 50 years old or 80 years old or 90 years old. Would you be happy 20, 30, 50, or 60 years from now that your values and priorities today are what they are? I know this is a hard reality to face, but it's an important one. Be honest with yourself, even if the truth is hard to face.
Okay, let me recap those five things that you need to stop doing. If you want to start living a happier life today. Number one, you need to stop searching so hard for your purpose. Number two, not looking at the bigger picture. Number three, fearing rejection and failure. Number four, speaking up for what you want or how you feel and expecting others to just read your mind. Number five, prioritizing things and people that aren't actually priorities.
Again, the episodes that I mentioned in this episode, episode 102, Two Questions You Need to Ask Yourself About Your Future; episode 107, Seven Ways to Become More Self-Aware; episode 113, Five Thoughts on Overcoming Your Fear of Failure. I know that this episode had a lot, so I would love to know kind of your aha moments. I would love to know what one of these five things that I'm encouraging you to stop doing today really hit you, which one of these things do you want to focus on starting today?
So we shared a screenshot that's posted up on your story. Tag me, Julia Ledbetter. I absolutely love connecting with every single one of you guys. I love hearing your aha moments. I would love if you have someone in your life that you feel like would really benefit from this specific episode, that you copy the link, you can send it to them in a text message. Again, you can post it up on your story and tag some friends to tune in. I appreciate you guys spreading the message of Embrace Your Real, and especially who doesn't want our loved ones to live a happier life? So please share this message out. I appreciate you more than you know. I cannot wait to connect with you and hear your aha moments from this. I love you so much and I will talk to you and the next episode.
All right, sister, that's all I got for you today, but I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you're not already following me on the Gram, be sure to do so, juliealedbetter, Yes, it's with an A in the middle, for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and Embrace Your Real because you're worth it.