The Truth About Weight Loss + Your Confidence

 

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Have you ever felt pressured by societal beauty standards or social media to lose weight in hopes of feeling more confident? 

In this episode of Embrace Your Real, we tackle the pervasive myth that weight loss leads to confidence. We live in a world where messages about achieving the "perfect" body are constant, making us believe that conforming to certain beauty standards is the key to self-worth and confidence. However, real confidence stems from within. Join us as we talk about why weight loss won't make you feel more confident and explore what truly brings lasting confidence.

  

What I discuss:

  1. External Validation doesn’t equal confidence. 

  2. You’re chasing something that doesn’t exist…AKA unrealistic expectations.

  3. You place WAY TOO much value on your physical appearance. 

 

If you loved this episode, be sure to tune in to…

Episode 23: 5 Steps to Building Unshakeable Confidence

 

If you want more from me, be sure to check out...

Follow me on Instagram: @juliealedbetter | @embraceyourreal | @movementwithjulie

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Website: www.juliealedbetter.com

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Transcript:

[00:00:00] Hey, hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned. If you're ready to embrace your real let's get it. Let's go. [00:00:31]

[00:00:31] Hello and welcome back to another episode on the Embrace Your Real podcast. We get messages day in and day out on social media, from media, whether that be social media, where magazines or movies or even, you know, our friends are our peers, people that we interact with on a day to day basis. We think that we need to have this perfect facade, this perfect body, and we need to go about doing it in a way that is going to ensure that we feel more confident. And until we get to X, Y, and z size, we're not going to feel more confident. And we just somewhere, somehow have been led to believe that if we could just lose more weight, we'll feel more confident. Our life will thus be better in some way, shape or form. Our relationships will be better, our happiness will be better. And man, it is so important that we understand where real confidence stems from. And while there's nothing wrong with striving for a healthy weight, striving for a healthy lifestyle, it's really essential that we shift the focus from external appearances and really learn and lean inward. And so that's why in today's episode, I'm really going to explain why weight loss won't lead to confidence and what will actually bring you more confidence, more than you've ever experienced in your life. [00:01:46][74.7]

[00:01:46] So that is exactly what we're going to be talking about in today's bonus episode. I hope that you tune in. I hope that you have a paper and pen, or you have your phone with a note out, because I really think that this episode is going to give you some things to think about. And like I said, I don't want you to be in this spinning wheel of or toxic cycle of thinking that if you just lose more weight, then you're going to be more confident. And then once you lose the weight and you're at the size or whatever you make, the amount of money or whatever it is that you think is going to make you happy, you're actually left feeling more and more loss because you wasted so much of your time thinking, you know, striving for this goal. And then once you get there, you realize, actually that's not what's going to lead to this real happiness, in this real confidence. But I wanted to share this review. It comes from Huber. Christine, I believe she gave a five star review and said the first and only podcast. Julie, I've never been the girl to listen to podcasts because I prefer music over hearing someone talk. But I cannot get enough of this podcast. I cannot wait for Monday and Thursday every single week. My heart and mind needed this so much, and I share it with every single woman because I know every single woman needs this. You are so down to earth, real, giving all shapes and sizes of women. Great advice for truly loving themselves. I find myself giving the same advice and using your words to encourage and lift up my girlfriends. Thank you so much for sharing the absolute best and most imperfect parts of yourself with so many. [00:03:09][83.5]

[00:03:10] I love you and all you're setting out to do. I love this so much. Thank you so much, first of all, for tuning into the podcast and also taking what you're learning and sharing it with girlfriends. Like, I couldn't ask for a better review. Like that's exactly what I want you ladies to be doing is tuning into the podcast, and I want you to be, you know, applying it to your day to day life. And I want you to be sharing it with as many women as possible. So thank you so much for not only taking time out of your day to leave this review. That really does mean so much. So if you could scooch over to Apple Podcasts and do that, that would mean the absolute world, but more importantly, sharing it with your friends and family and the ones that you love. That is more than I could ask for. So thank you so, so much for doing that. Okay, so let's dive into the three reasons why weight loss will not make you more confident. Number one, you have to recognize that external validation doesn't equal confidence. Many people set out on this weight loss journey and they seek this external validation and approval. But here's the thing based on your self-worth, solely on external factors like reaching a certain weight, fitting into a certain pant size, this is fleeting. And what I mean by that is that confidence that you think it will bring is 100% temporary. It is ultimately unsatisfying. And why? Why is that? And that's because you are. You yourself are not your body. You are not whether your body changes or not. Because when your body changes, your personality doesn't change, your character doesn't change. Your worth doesn't change. [00:04:41][91.8]

[00:04:42] The light inside of you doesn't change nothing about who you are at your core changes when your body changes, you're still you. And this is actually a beautiful thing to recognize, because you can actually stop obsessing about what your body looks like and recognize that once you start to realize that your body says absolutely nothing about who you are, you recognize that you actually don't need to change your body to feel more confident. This also means that your confidence doesn't change, right? Your confidence is not linked to your body weight. It just isn't. No matter how much you weigh or how much you lose or gain or whatever. Yeah, you might feel a little bit more confident for two seconds, but then you're going to feel like you need to lose more weight or you're going to feel like, oh my gosh, this is not. Actually what I thought it would feel like. And then you go down this other spiral because you're like, I just wasted so much time thinking that, you know, reaching this goal is going to make me feel x, Y, and Z, and yet I still don't. It's a slippery slope. And to sum this up, I think it's just important to remember that confidence that comes from external validation is often fragile. It's often easily shaken, and it's dependent on other perceptions rather than your inner self-worth. And man, if that is something that I could go back and tell my 20 year old self, I feel like I would have saved so much time and so much anxiety and so much doubt and so much self. Just this lack of confidence that I had in my early 20s. I just, I feel like if I would have known this and graphs this truth, I would have saved so much time. [00:06:12][89.9]

[00:06:12] And so my hope and prayer is that this helps you to recognize that that confidence that comes from external validation is fragile. It's easily shaken because it's dependent on other perceptions rather than your inner self-worth. Number two, you're chasing something that doesn't exist, aka it's an unrealistic expectation. I'm going to step into that sister role right now and just encourage you with some real talk. Social media is making you believe that your body should look a certain way. When 99% of the bodies that you're seeing on social media don't actually look like that way in real life, you're seeing a staged photo from a perfect angle, holding their breath with their stomachs sucked in. You're also seeing edited photos. Lots and lots of edited photos. You're seeing the perfect preset put on the photo. I mean, you are seeing a facade. You're bombarded with these images daily though, and you take them as truth. And this and you think that this is what their body actually looks like. And so you're comparing, you know, your behind the scenes to their highlight reel, and you're lacking confidence because you think that if your body looked like that, then you'd be so confident. And so you set out on this weight loss journey so that you can feel more confident, but your journey is filled with unrealistic expectations. You're not seeing the whole picture. And since you're unable to meet these expectations, no matter how hard you try, you end up feeling worse about yourself. Rather than feeling more confident, you say things to yourself like, why can't I look like this woman on Instagram? What's wrong with me? So instead of getting more confidence, you actually end up with less confidence. You experience these feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, self-doubt, rather than the confidence that you set out that you hope to gain. [00:07:52][99.5]

[00:07:52] Right. And so again, this is why weight loss is not the solution for feeling more confident, especially comparing you again, your behind the scenes to someone's highlight reel. I think about this just in my own life right now. You know, someone asked me the other day on Instagram, they said, how are you feeling with your body changing so much? And I feel like I honestly feel like I could do a whole podcast episode on this, because this is one of the biggest fears that I had in my life prior to getting pregnant was, what is it going to be? Feel like? What is it going to be like? You know, my whole life as at least my whole, you know, last 7 to 8 years has been about strength and and building strength and building my business, which is revolved around, you know, a healthy mindset around your body, but also being, for the most part, especially because I haven't been pregnant over the last 7 or 8 years, like being in control of my body and my strength or lack of strength or whatever it is. And I can so easily see the trap that you can fall into. As you know, you're pregnant and you're seeing other women who are pregnant. And, you know, especially this big emphasis on like, don't gain more than 20 pounds or 25 pounds or at your pregnancy, and then you're comparing that to what is your reality. And it can go down so many different paths. But man, ultimately I have come to the conclusion that I've, number one, never felt more comfortable or confident in my body. Growing a literal human in my body is just beyond what I ever thought it would feel like. And it's like it feels like one of the biggest blessings. [00:09:25][93.1]

[00:09:26] But more than that, I think I've just come to this conclusion that everyone experiences things so differently and you're going to see so many different things, right? And this is I'm sure I'm sure that mothers, you know, all the moms out there who are listening to me right now, I'm sure you've experienced this. Like you see so many other moms out there, there's this whole thing that I was watching, I think it was a TikTok or Instagram trend, and it was like the black SUV versus the white SUV mom. And how I think, right. It was the the white SUV mom has their life together, whereas the black SUV mom is like all chaotic. But me, I'm like, there's so many things, so many different things that you can compare yourself to. And just remember that what you're seeing on social media is a there's 0.000000001% of what is real life. And and they're choosing to show up online, even if they are quote unquote, being vulnerable in the moment, they might not be sharing every single part of that vulnerability in that moment. And so just remember that we all are going to experience things differently and to not compare ourselves. Like comparison is the biggest thief of joy, right? That's such a cliche thing to say, but comparison is truly the biggest thief of joy. And it can. It will steal so many moments of joy, and it will steal so many moments of potential contentment that you can have in your life. And so I just want to encourage you and remind you that what you see on social media, whether pregnant or not, whether mom or not, whether student or not, whether whatever season of life you're in, there are struggles that so many people everybody's dealing with that they're not talking about on social media. [00:11:05][99.1]

[00:11:06] And so I want you to deal with your own things, and I want you to appreciate life in that, in your own way, and recognize that. And just remember to put on your blinders every time you're on social media, and to remind yourself and to arm yourself with that knowledge that you know what you're seeing on social media, some of it can benefit you. Of course, some things can encourage you, some things can teach you, but the majority of it is noise, and the majority of it is just going to cause you to spiral into this comparison game. If you are not looking at it with the proper mindset and remembering and putting it in the proper place in terms of just remembering that what you're seeing is a highlight reel and that you are often, you know, comparing your behind the scenes to someone's highlight reel of what they choose to share. Number three, you place way too much value on your physical appearance. Weight loss focus approaches for building confidence will always lead you to feeling and fixating on your perceived flaws and imperfections on your body. This will only reinforce negative self-image rather than building a positive one, like constantly scrutinizing your body and striving for this unattainable result, this will completely erode your self-esteem and trigger feelings of self-consciousness, insecurity rather than confidence and self worthiness. So here's some real talk that I need you to believe. Confidence is more than just how you look. It's about how you feel and the value that you place on yourself as a whole person, as a whole soul. You need to stop thinking that your value goes only as deep as the number on the scale, or the pant size that you're fitting into or not fitting into. [00:12:45][99.1]

[00:12:45] You need to get that thought and belief out of your head. You are not your body. You are a whole freakin person and are so much more than just your external appearance. I mean, yes, weight loss can lead to to changes in your physical appearance, but it doesn't necessarily address any underlying issues related to self-esteem, self-worth, emotional well-being. We often think that, you know, it's our body that's triggering our feelings, but remember that that's only the surface. Our feelings go so, so, so much deeper. And changing things at the surface isn't going to change things deep on the inside of us. What we actually are feeling on a deep inner personal level. So let me quickly recap what I talked about and why weight loss doesn't equal more confidence. Number one, external validation doesn't equal confidence. Many people set out on these weight loss journeys seeking external validation and approval. But here's the thing basing your worth solely on external factors like reaching a certain weight or fitting into a certain clothing size that is fleeting. Number two, you're chasing something that doesn't exist. AKA you have unrealistic expectations. So in case you didn't know, or in case you need this newsflash today social media is truly making you believe that your body should look a certain way when 99% of those bodies that you're seeing don't actually look the way that they do in real life. And lastly, number three, weight loss focus approaches for building confidence will always lead you to fixating on your perceived flaws or imperfection on your body. And it really only reinforces a negative self-image rather than building a positive one. I hope that this was helpful for you. I hope that this gave you some food for thought. [00:14:27][101.8]

[00:14:27] And man, if there's one thing that I could just encourage you on is just remembering that social media is fleeting. Just merely thinking that confidence comes from your external appearance is fleeting. I mean, by goodness, if there's one thing I've learned, being pregnant is like, you cannot control your body when you're growing a babe, like you cannot control that. And what a blessing that is, that I know that my worth doesn't come from my physical appearance. My worth comes from who Christ says I am. My worth comes from deep within and who he created me to be. And that just puts so much less pressure on me to feel like, oh, you know, I can't control X, Y, and Z in my body. Like, man, what a blessing it is to know that our worth is not dictated by any part of our physical appearance. And that is just something that I want you to to be comforted in. And I want you to remind yourself of that every single day. Is that. Your worth does not come from that external appearance. And God calls you beautiful. He calls you wonderful. He loves you. He loves your soul. And that's what's most important. All right. If you love this episode, you need to go check out episode 23, which is an OG episode. I will warn you, it is an OG episode that was recorded in my closet, but I really think that it will give you some good. Again, just some good positive encouragement if you are struggling and your confidence. But it's five steps to building unshakable confidence. Episode 23 I will link it in the show notes, but that is all that I have for today's episode. I hope that you found this helpful. I love you so dang much. I mean it and I'll talk to you in the next one. [00:16:08][7.3]

[932.8][00:16:08] All right, sister, that's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so. Julie A Ledbetter. Yes, it's with an A in the middle for that daily post workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world, and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace it real because you're worth it. [00:17:02][0.0]