The One Thing That Will Actually Make You Happier
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Happiness is a complicated and multifaceted notion. Everyone aspires to be happy, but only a select few are actually happy.
What then is that one thing we need to truly make us happier?
In this episode of Embrace Your Real podcast, I will give you the key that will lead you to a happier life and five steps that will guide you there.
What I discuss:
1. Understand your own needs, wants, and desires.
2. Shift your perspective. Take time to reflect on the good in your life and to express gratitude and appreciation for all that you have.
3. Take control of your thoughts and emotions: Your thoughts and emotions have a powerful impact on your life, and it is important to take control of them.
4. Take action. What is ONE thing you can actively do daily that will bring you one step closer to meeting your needs, wants and desires?
5. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.
If you want more from me, be sure to check out...
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Transcript:
Hey. Hey, beautiful human. Can I steal 5 minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with Me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned. If you're ready to embrace a real. Let's get it. Let's go.
Hello and welcome back to another bonus episode.
Happiness is a very complex, very multifaceted concept that really everyone strives for, yet few people actually truly achieve. And I think this is because many people believe that happiness is something that is given to them from the outside, something that if they're lucky to have, if they happen to be in the right place at the right time. But here's the thing. Playing the victim is really holding us back from experiencing happiness, like waiting for happiness to come to you that's preventing you from experiencing happiness or believing that you have nothing to be happy about that's stopping you from experiencing happiness in your life.
And so what is the one thing that we need to do to actually make us happier? I'm going to be talking about this in today's bonus episode, but before I do, I wanted to share this super simple, sweet review. It comes from Mama a ma cad. She gave a five star review and said, Real honest, genuine and humble. I love it. So simple and yet I love those words are so profound. So thank you. I genuinely am so grateful for every single one of you guys who leave a review, who tune in to the podcast week in and week out. I am just I love you guys. I really hope that one day I can squeeze all of you. We can be in the same room and talk and laugh and cry and do all the things. But until then, thank you for tuning in to the podcast. Thank you for taking time out of your day to send in these reviews. They really, really do mean so much.
So what is the one thing that will actually make you happier? Well, the truth is that happiness really starts at self-responsibility. Like when we take control of our lives and we take responsibility for our own happiness, I believe that we really open up new possibilities for growth, fulfillment and joy in our life. Self-responsibility is the recognition that our lives are shaped by by the choices we make and the actions we take and the perspective we decide to have. It's the understanding that we are the one who really directs our life. And if I'm a faith believer, I believe ultimately that God is in control of our life. But I believe that he allows us to take responsibility for our life. And so that's a key role in that. I think that it's really a partnership, right? Like, I think there's this delicate balance between, you know, trusting God with everything and saying, I'm not going to work at all, and I'm just going to trust that you're going to provide or saying no, you know, taking responsibility for the gifts and the talents that God has given you and being a good steward in that and really having that delicate balance, like, okay, God, I'm going to do the best that I can with what I have. I know that you've instilled these gifts and talents in my life, and I'm going to try my hardest to develop them and work the best that I can. But ultimately you're in control of that. And so I think that that's really important, or at least that's my perspective. Again, this is coming from a faith perspective. I have faith in Jesus Christ. And so for me, that's kind of my I don't want to say roadmap, but kind of the way that I, you know, look at my life. But I do think that self-responsibility is really important. And it's really, you know, the recognition that our lives are shaped by the choices that we make and the actions that we take and the perspectives that we decide to have. It's the understanding that we are in control of what we can control in our life. And we're responsible for that. And when we begin to see that we actually have power in our lives to be able to change things, I think we begin to understand that we can make changes in our lives. We have the opportunity to do that. We don't have to stay stagnant in that. And I believe that one of the key benefits of taking responsibility for your own happiness is that it really allows you to no longer feel like you're a passenger in the journey. Instead, you become the driver. You know, you become, okay, I'm going to take ownership of what I've been given in my life and you have the power to shape your life in the way that you want it to be. And I believe that when you're walking in purpose and personally, in my personal perspective, when you're using your gifts and talents to honor and glorify God and you're walking in the way and trusting him, but also not just, you know, sitting back and saying, okay, God, direct my life, do this, do that. You're actually taking ownership of what you've been given and you're being responsible and you're being a steward of that. That's what will bring you joy and fulfillment in your life. And I think that another important aspect of really taking responsibility for your life and what you've been given this helps to. Develop a more proactive mindset. When you really take ownership of that, you're being more proactive in pursuing your goals and making your life the way that you know you want it to be in terms of what you've been given and the opportunities that become available to you when you put yourself out there, rather than just looking at your life and saying, Oh my gosh, it's just full of obstacles and challenges. Right. And I believe when you step out in faith, when you do something, the more that you do something, the more you become confident in your ability to make the changes, to take control in certain areas of your life, and you begin to see that you actually do have the power to change. And I also believe that when you take responsibility in terms of just stewarding things well, it gives you or at least for me, it gives me a sense of self-worth because I know when I'm stewarding my gift to my talents as well that I've been blessed with. Sure, they take time to develop. And yes, I think it's it's this constant in our life. We need to be constantly developing the gifts and talents that we've been given and not just be stagnant in that. But I believe that you actually start to see yourself through a different lens and you start to see that you do have value and you do give value to people in this world. And when you really begin to recognize those gifts and strengths and abilities that you've been given, you start to believe in just a greater purpose in this world. And so in my view, that that actually allows you to, you know, change certain things in your life, like you can actually start doing that. So how do we actually start taking responsibility for the gifts and the talents and in your own happiness and really understanding like why you're here? And I think it starts with really asking yourself like, what do you truly want from life? Like, what do you want to get out of your life? What are things that bring you joy or fulfillment satisfaction? And then asking yourself like, what are the things that are holding you back from achieving the goals that you have and living the life that you want? I think it's really important that you've got to get clear on that. You've got to get clear on what it is that brings you those joys and fulfillments. And then also what is holding you back and who or what is preventing you from making those things a priority in your life and and really getting serious with the the answers to your questions, like what are your needs? What are your desires, what are your wants, and what's holding you back from prioritizing those things. So that's something that I want you to take some time and contemplate. Write it down. Ask yourself what it is like. What are the changes that you want to make in your life and really start taking responsibility for where you're at in your life. Like, yes, things happen to us that are outside of our control, but there is so much that we do have control over. And I think the easy copout for us is to be like, Oh, well, you know, that just happened to me. Or Oh, I've just always been this way or Oh, I'll never get to X, Y and Z. And we put ourselves in a box and we don't allow ourselves to grow. And so I want you to contemplate that as you're on this journey. And, and the first step of that is really taking responsibility. Step number two is really kind of shifting your perspective. So this involves developing a positive outlook on life and really learning to cultivate gratitude and appreciation. And for me, because I live I'm a I'm a faith believer in Jesus Christ. I believe every single person on this earth is here for a reason. And we are not by accident. I believe that it's our choice to be able to look at things in our life through a different lens. And if you're struggling with that, like, I just encourage you to pray and ask God to help you to see things differently and see things through a different lens. But in a like very practical sense, like when we are very unhappy in our life, I think it's because we're only focusing on the things that are making us unhappy. We're failing to see the bigger picture. We're failing to see that the things and the struggles that we're going through right now might be a stepping stone towards maybe a future purpose or something that we dive into in the future. And I really genuinely, I'm a firm believer in having a gratitude practice. I've talked about this on so many other episodes, but really by focusing on good in our life and when I say good, I'm saying like trying to find one to 2 to 3 things that genuinely allow you to say, dang, like I'm I'm blessed. I have a roof over my head. I am not starving like I'm able to feed myself. Yeah, if you're tuning into this, you likely have a phone or some sort of device that is allowing you to tune into this. Podcasts. And if if that's you, I mean, you're literally like in the 1 to 5% of the world, like there are so many people in this world that don't even have that. You have running clean water. You might have a car that you drive to work. You have a blanket or a coat that keeps you warm. Like those are the tiny things that you can reflect on on a day to day basis and really focusing on the good in your life and express gratitude and appreciation for all that you have instead of focusing on everything that you wish you had that you don't. Step number three is really taking control of your thoughts and emotions, like your thoughts and emotions really do have a profound impact on your life, and it's important that you are keen to that and you start really practicing, being mindful and being present in the moment and focusing on things through a gratitude lens and really having proactive thoughts. So when you start to think negative about something, trying to reverse it. So instead of focusing, this is a silly example, but instead of focusing on how you know, you're you're stuck in traffic or how much it sucks or the time that you're wasting focus on, okay, this is a good time for me to tune into a podcast that I am wanting to listen to or give my mom a call or my best friend a call and finally catch up on things like really try to shift these small daily inconveniences and shift them in a new perspective with a new light and know that when you make that conscious effort to shift your perspective, that can have a profound effect on your overall gratitude lens and happiness and joy and fulfillment. And step number four take action. Like taking action is a key aspect of self-responsibility. Like I mentioned earlier, like what is one thing that you can actively do today that will bring you one step closer towards meeting your needs, your wants, your desires? Just focus on one thing, one thing doing that one thing daily, taking that one step tomorrow. Because when you do that one step tomorrow and the next day and the next day and the next day, that compounds into finally achieving what you want to achieve. Building the habit that you've been wanting to build for the last three years, you know, actually seeing through a project, whatever it is, the goals, the dreams that desires that you have, and it helps you to build the life that you have been wanting to live. And lastly, step number five is really surrounding yourself with supportive people, people that not only challenge you but also hear you. They're there for you. They encourage you. For me personally, I think it's important to surround myself with people of faith as I am a faith believing Christian. I think that having that perspective is so profound in my life that I need to surround myself with people that are wise. So I have wives, counsel, people that can encourage me on the days that I'm feeling frustrated and also get plugged in to different communities that have, you know, are like minded in the sense of I prioritize honoring my body with movement. That's why I am so plugged in to the movement, which really community, because I know that all these people in this community, they have we have one common goal. We are all different types of people with all different backgrounds and beliefs. But the one thing that we can come together and agree on is that we have this passion to honor our body with movement, and that's through the movement we Julie app. And so I try my hardest to surround myself with people that are supportive, that are encouraging me, that are challenging me on this journey, because you have to remember that you are this some of the people that you spend the most time with. If you are surrounding yourself with people that are constantly unhappy, that are not grateful, that don't pursue big things in their life, you're likely going to become unhappy. You're going to look at things through a negative lens. You're going to become stagnant in your life. And so I want you to find a community, whether that's in person or virtual or a mixture of both. Like I said, I have tons of people that I connect with online. I have a few people that I connect with, like I have a solid inner circle that I connect with in person, but those are my people, like, those are my people that I can come to on any day that I can rely, rely on in any day with the struggles of my life. But then I also have different outlets. Like I mentioned the Julie app, I have a community just on my platforms, like I am able to connect with so many people there on a daily basis, but it's really, really important that you prioritize those people in your life. So there you have it. Those are kind of like the five steps to starting to take self-responsibility. I want to recap those for those of you guys who are note takers or who just kind of want the CliffsNotes version. So step number one is really understanding. Like your needs, your wants, your desires. Step number two is shifting your perspective. Really taking time to reflect on all the amazing things that are going on in your life and trying to shift that perspective. Expressing gratitude and appreciation for all that you have. September three. Really taking control of your thoughts and your emotions, remembering that they have a powerful impact on your life. And it's important that you take captive those thoughts and that you are aware of what's both your allowing in and also what you're consuming on a day to day basis. Step number four, Taking action, really establishing at least one thing that you can actively do daily that will bring you one step closer towards meeting the goals, the desires that you have. And step number five, surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people. Just remember that all of this really does come down to self-responsibility and allowing yourself to grow and like, I'll just keep going back to it. I believe that we have been entrusted with gifts and talents, every single one of us, whether we know it or not. I believe that we're on this earth for a specific reason, for multiple reasons, whether that be relationships, a specific something that you're to create in this world or encouragement or whatever it is. You are here not by accident. And so I want you to start to become the driver in a sense of your life and stop just sitting in the passenger seat and just watching life pass you by and getting frustrated that you're not achieving X, Y, and Z and you're having a negative attitude. And trust me, we can have our bad days. Like I'm not here to tell you every day is going to be amazing and every day is going to be super productive. But I do think that overall, having this attitude of gratitude as well as this perspective on life, like, man, I don't want to just sit back and watch my life pass me by. I want to take an active role in my life and I want to be a responsible Stewart for all that I've been given so that I can go out and help, you know, do good in this world and bring joy to people and for me, proclaim the name of Jesus. And that's the most important thing in my life. So that is all that I have for today's episode. I hope that this little pep talk gave you some encouragement. It gave you, I don't know, just a pat on the shoulder, a hug, and just kind of gave you some food for thought. I want you to make the most out of every single day that you've been given because we've been blessed with another day, baby. Like we if we have air in our lungs, that means that our purpose is not done on this earth. And I want every single woman to know that and feel that and live that. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for tuning in. If you have a girlfriend, a friend, a coworker, someone in your life that you feel like would really benefit from this specific episode, I just ask that you share it out with them. You can copy the link, send it to them in a text message. You can screenshot this and post it up on your story. Also, when you leave a review, it really does help us out. Not only helps us, our team know what podcasts are helping you, but it also helps other women who stumble upon the podcast. It kind of gives them some good insight as to what they can expect, and that's oftentimes what people go off of when choosing to tune into a podcast or not. So thank you in advance for doing that. If you do have an Apple device, you can just go to embrace your real. Once you're in the podcast app and you can scroll down, you'll see the rating interview section there. That is all that I have for today's episode. I love you so much. I mean it. And I'll talk to you in the next song. All right, sister. That's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so. Julie a lot better. Yes. It's women in the middle for that daily post workout. Real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world. And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace the real because you're worth it.