Stop Caring What Others Think of You
LISTEN: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | STITCHER
In today’s society, it’s way too easy to get wrapped up in what others think of us. But ladies, if we continue to allow the opinions of others alter the way we act, dress, think, and live, we will never feel free to be our authentic selves. In this episode, I help you break free from the opinions of others and empower you to embrace your real, without caring what others think about it! I share new perspectives on why people judge you, and why you shouldn’t let it bother you or change you.
Hey! Hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to Embrace Your Real. Let's get it. Let's go.
Hello and welcome back to the Embrace Your Real Podcast. I am so excited that you're here and the reason I'm so excited is because I truly believe that if you are listening to my words right now, there is no coincidence that you have popped into this episode on this day and this season of your life right now. I truly believe that this message is going to serve you and I hope that it speaks to you in the most powerful way it possibly can. And I know that the words that are spoken will be resonated with you in different ways, different perspectives, meeting people in different seasons of their life. But I hope that this message serves you.
So I'm just going to dive right into it. I want to make sure that if you are listening to this, you are distraction free. So if at all possible, if you can get to a place where you can just kind of close your eyes, quiet your mind, and allow yourself to hear this message, I truly think that it's going to be transforming in your life.
And so today's episode, I'm going to be sharing why you need. This is not like, I hope, this is not hopefully you hear this word and apply it or maybe this is a good thought to have. I need you to quit caring about what other people think. I need you to stop caring about what other people think of you. To be honest, this is something that took me years and when I say years, I mean a decade plus of my life. It took me to realize this simple truth that I can no longer and will no longer live by another person's standards or live by what I think they think that I need to be. Right?
And so it's hard. I will tell you that from time to time, I still struggle with this, but it is no longer a founding truth in my life that I need to live for the approval of other people, it is simply a lie that comes into my brain. I have the ability to identify it now and I have the tools and I have the encouragement and I have the real authentic truth to remind myself that the opinions of other people do not define me and will not define me. And I know that in today's society it's way too easy to get wrapped up in what other people think of us. In all seriousness, like I said, for a decade plus in my life, I struggled with this and I remember there was a season in my life where I would not be caught dead without makeup on. I would always be done up. I wouldn't go out of the house with sweats on.
I just felt people needed to see me in this perfect version of what I thought that they wanted to see me in. It was this like facade that controlled my life, this thought pattern that controlled my life, controlled my actions and if I saw somebody where I didn't feel like I was all done up, I didn't have makeup on, I had sweats on, I felt like I needed to apologize or say some sort of comment like, "I know I'm a hot mess or excuse my hot mess or I know I look like crap." And it was honestly more times than not I would be saying it before they even say anything. Right? I was so caught up in this lie that I thought I needed to show up as this perfectly put together person. And so if I was caught in being real and authentic of who I am with no makeup on, the zit on my face, the bed hair, whatever, I felt like I needed to apologize.
And so I have finally come to this realization over the last, I would say five to seven years that done up Julie and makeup-free Julie. When I say makeup free, I mean bedhead, bags under my eyes, zit on my face, all the things, they're the same person. Both versions are still me and nowadays it is easier than ever to hide behind these crazy filters. And honestly, I have come to a point in my life where I feel like we are so bombarded with perfect dangles, with these perfectly filtered photos on Instagram, on social platforms that when I see someone show up filter-free, angle free, just showing up as them, it is the absolute truest form of their beauty. And I am attracted to that.
And so I need you to stop letting people's opinions scare you. If someone actually cares that much about what you look like, they have insecurities that they need to work on. This is not a situation between you and them. This is a situation that they need to work on themselves and they are projecting their insecurities on you. So whether that's your mom, whether that's your sister, whether that's your friend, a coworker, an acquaintance, or a stranger behind a keyboard, they have insecurity issues that they need to work on. This is not a situation that you need to get wrapped up in, right?
So whether it's your hair, your face, your body, your clothes, what you have to say, how you feel, what you believe, you need to stop going through your day today, trying to filter so much of yourself that you no longer are even you at all. You have to stop letting the judgment of other people stop you from being you. Plain and simple. Because sadly if you do, if you live in this belief of what they think or what you think they think they want you to be, you're no longer being yourself. And instead you're being the person that you think everybody wants you to be and when you live by that standard, you will never feel enough. You will never feel enough. You will always feel discouraged. You will always feel insecure. You'll always be questioning your worth, questioning what you say, questioning what you believe because you're so wrapped up in what they think.
I need you to hear me when I say that if someone judges you for embracing your real, speaking your truth, being yourself, most likely it's because they're envious of the confidence that you have and they don't. Think about it. Think about the people that you truly admire most. It is the people that show up themselves. It is the people that are not afraid to say what they believe in. It is the people that are blunt. It is the people that show up with that zit, that 10-day dirty hair, those bags under their eyes and they just show up and they are there for you. Those are the people that you think are the most beautiful, or at least in my opinion, those are the people that I am most attracted to in my life because I'm like, "That's them. That is the beautiful version of them." Right?
Remember, most of the time what people think of you really has nothing to do with you at all and it has everything to do with them. So stop wasting your life stressing, living, filtering because you are scared of what other people think. I need you to rock that no-makeup look. I need you to rock that messy hair. I need you to rock those leggings. Girl, hashtag quarantine life in the moment, right now as I'm recording this, I have a zit the size of Mars on my chin. I am 10 days into my dirty hair. I am literally in my sleep clothes recording this in my closet. I don't know how real I can get other than that, but I am here to tell you that I feel the most beautiful that I am because I am myself and I am showing up right now in your ear. And that's all that matters to me.
If I can show up as myself and I can share what I believe and I can encourage you and I can empower you, that is what I am put on this earth to do. And I have to tell you, like I said earlier, I truly believe that this version of myself talking to you right now through this microphone, you're listening on your earphones, whatever, that is the same version of me as when I am up on stage talking or I am on an Instagram live talking or I am doing a prepared speech that I've done like that has been curated. Those two versions of myself are equally me. So I don't think that one version of myself is better than the other. I am just truly trying to show up myself every day whether I have makeup on or not.
So I hope that that makes sense. I need you to rock that stain on your shirt. I need you to rock your mismatching outfit. I need you to rock those out-of-style boots. I need you to just embrace who you are. Judy Garland said it best, "Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else." So beautiful. Such an incredible reminder that you are either as beautiful or as ugly as you believe that you are, because ultimately you define your beauty. You are beautiful, you are worthy, and no one can have that power over you and no one should have that power over you.
So say what you want to say. Be what you want to be. Dress the way that you want to dress. Show up as you. It does not matter what they think. It does not matter what they say. At the end of the day, if you hit your head on that pillow and you know that you showed up as authentically as you could, you stopped caring about what other people thought, you stopped caring about what other people felt, you will feel fulfilled. I promise because I've lived, like I said, a decade plus in my life in this, what are they thinking and how can I live up to that standard? And it's exhausting and I don't want that for you any longer.
I hope that this encouraged you, empowered you, motivated you to just show up as you. In fact, I want you to take a screenshot of this right now. Whatever platform you're listening on, post it up on your Instagram Story, tag me, Julia Ledbetter. And I want you to also snap a photo right now of you listening to this. I want to see you, whether you're done up, your in a dress, your in full face of makeup. That's beautiful. If you're in your sweats, your in day 10 hair like me, you got a zit the size of Mars on your chin. That's me, hashtag quarantine life right now. I want you to post it up on your story. You are so beautiful. You are so powerful. Don't let anybody take that away from you. I love you and I'll talk to you guys in the next episode.
All right, sister. That's all I got for you today, but I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so Julie A. Ledbetter. Yes, it's with an A in the middle, for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world, and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface, so go out there and Embrace Your Real because you're worth it.