My #1 Advice for Overcoming Comparison
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Let's be real, who DOESN'T struggle with comparing themselves to others? I believe it's our natural response, but I also believe it robs us of our happiness.
We look at other people’s lives and think they have more, they are more successful, they make more money, they are happier, they are in better shape, and the list goes on and on.
But here’s the truth….most of our comparison stems from us not actually knowing what"success" and “happiness” means to us. We look at others being happy so we think that’s what we need to be happy and we won’t be happy until we have that, too. And the same is true for success.
But do we REALLY know if what they have will make us happy? And does success mean the same thing to us as it does to them?
I know it can seem impossible for you to stop comparing yourself to others but I promise, there is a way to break-free and I’m about to share how in this episode!
If you loved this episode, be sure to check out Episode 31: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
TRANSCRIPT:
Hey, Hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned. If you're ready to Embrace your Real, let's get in, let's go.
Hello and welcome back to another bonus episode of the Embrace Real podcast. I'm so grateful that you are here, spending some time with me today. Girl, we're getting real for a sec. We are of course, on the Embrace Real podcast. So, we're talking about my number one advice for overcoming comparison. Can we be real for a second? Who doesn't struggle with comparison? Anybody, anybody, crickets, crickets. I believe it's our natural response, but I also believe that it robs us of our happiness. I know it can seem impossible to stop comparing yourselves to others, but I do believe that there is a way to break free. And so I'm going to be sharing that in today's episode.
But before I do, I have to share the super-sweet review, it comes from Katelyn B 2011. She says, "Hi, Julie, I've been following you on Instagram for a couple of years and found your podcasts more recently, I listened to episode 85, and you referenced episode 43. You really spoke to me in episode 43, how to lose weight naturally. The number and the scale has been dictating my life. I've been taking notes as I listen, and I'm going to try really hard to say positive affirmations to myself in the mirror, starting with thanking my body for all that it does. I'm really good at sticking to a workout routine, but I struggle with binge eating on the weekends. So I plan to dive into your podcast daily, to help with my mindset and daily struggles." Oh my gosh, Katelyn, thank you so much for this review. What I loved about this review was that you were open and transparent. And I think that this world needs more of that. I really believe that the more that we become authentic, we share our struggles, we share what we're feeling.
We remind others that we're not alone. And in the process, we get to connect with so many women. So thank you. Thank you. If you haven't already rated and reviewed the podcast, or even if you have, and you have a specific episode like Katelyn referenced a specific episode that really spoke to her, I would love to know, so you can leave another review over on Apple Podcasts. It really does help us out so, so much. So, if you feel like this podcast has helped you in any way, I just ask in return that you leave a review. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Let's get back to talking about comparison. Oftentimes I think that we look at other people's lives and we think that they have more, they're more successful. They make more money. They're happier, they're in better shape and the list goes on and on, but here's the actual truth.
Most of our comparison actually stems from us not knowing what success or happiness means to us. We look at other people being happy. So we think that's what we need in order for ourselves to feel happy. And we won't be happy until we have that as well. And the same goes for success. But when you stop and think about it, do you really know what's going to make you happy? And does success mean the same thing to you as it does to them? For example, society tells us in order to be successful, we need to make a lot of money, but what if you actually don't equate success and money together? What if for you success means that you're doing what you love, whether it brings you a lot of money or not. This is why it's so important that we ourselves have to define success and happiness and what it means to us.
And when we do we'll realize that we don't need to compare ourselves to others. The biggest issue when we don't define those two things is that we use the definition of others, or what we think the other person thinks is their happiness or success. And that's where comparison can come into play. And as long as we don't define it ourselves, we will continue to base the success and happiness we experience in our lives based on someone else's definition of success and happiness. So I need to ask you, what does success mean to you? What does happiness mean to you? You have to define that in multiple different aspects of your life, right? There's going to be different facets of your life. So relationships, personal, physical career-oriented. What does success mean to you? And what does happiness mean to you, in your personal life, in your professional life? What does happiness mean to you? Define it.
Do you really feel like you need to fit into X size or do you think that's what you need to do because you think that's going to make you happy because you thought it made somebody else happy? Or how about financially? How much money do you think you actually need to have to live a life that makes you happy? Or are you just wanting more financially, because you think that's going to make you happier? Personally, what things make you happy? What personal goals do you want to reach? Figure out what you want to actually achieve. And what's going to bring you joy and happiness. And again, relationships, what does a happy and successful relationship look like to you? Maybe you actually don't care about getting flowers regularly, or going on these lavish vacations. Maybe what you care about is that you and your partner are actually connecting.
You have a date night in, you're intentional about conversation and you're putting the phone down and actually spending quality time together, instead of in front of a TV or your screen all the time. Or how about spiritually? What is going to fulfill you? You have to define these things, because like I said, if you don't define them, you will just go off of another person's definition. And the saddest part about that is when you go off of another person's definition, you may strive so hard and achieve what they achieved and still feel empty, and still feel like you have not accomplished things, and still feel broken and still feel like you want to achieve more, or you miss the mark. And that's the saddest part is that you then will look back and realize how much time you wasted looking at another person's life, thinking that that's what you want to achieve.
And thinking that that's going to bring X, Y, and Z feeling when in reality, all it really does is waste your life because you're chasing after another person's definition of success. I would love for you to check out episode 31, I actually talk about more ways to overcome comparison. So tune in there, I will link it in the show notes, Episode 31, How to stop comparing yourself to others. I hope that this message encouraged you. I hope that this message inspired you in some way, shape, or form. Remember that this year is the year of us getting back to what makes us happy. What is our definition in those various different aspects of our life? No longer do we need to chase that highlight reel that we think is going to make us happy. Actually, chase what's going to bring you joy. And the beautiful thing about that is when you define it and you start chasing after your own definition of what success or happiness means to you, as you grow and develop, whether it's spiritually, financially, personally, relationally, that will change.
And that's the beautiful thing about this journey is that it's ever-changing related to where you're at and what season of life you're going through. I love you so much. If you have somebody in your life that you feel like would benefit from this episode, I just ask that you share it out. You can copy the link, text it to them. You can post it up on your story, tag me, juliealedbetter, and Embrace your Real account, we love love, love connecting with you. And I love seeing your aha moments. Thank you so much for tuning in. And I will talk to you guys in the next episode.
All right, sister, that's all I got for you today, but I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you're not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so, juliealedbetter. Yes, it's with a in the middle, for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts, to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world. And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So, go out there and Embrace your Real because you're worth it.