If You Feel Self-Conscious, Remember These 5 Things…
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Let's chat about self-consciousness: It's something all of us struggle with it. Some of us let it control us more than others, so I’m curious how do you handle your self-consciousness? A part of embracing our real is learning how to deal with the things that make us feel self-conscious so it doesn't control us and our happiness. That’s why in this episode of Embrace Your Real, I want to share the things I remind myself of when my insecurities start to get in the way!
If you're not already following Embrace Your Real on the 'gram, it's time you start! Head over to @embraceyourreal for more daily real talk from me :)
TRANSCRIPT:
Hey, hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real. Let's get it. Let's go.
Self-consciousness, all of us struggle with it. So I'm curious is how you handle your self-consciousness. Some of us let it control us more than others, but we all have it. We just deal with it differently. And that's why in today's bonus episode of Embrace Your Real, I want to share the things that I remind myself when I feel like my insecurities are starting to get in the way. But before I dive into this bonus episode, I wanted to share, the review of the day comes from Mandy Morale. She says, "Exactly what I needed. 2020 has brought us enough stress. Making sure we are maintaining our goals during the holidays shouldn't add more. Thanks so much for the episode to avoid overeating during the holidays. So many helpful hints that I will definitely use for the upcoming year. Thank you so, so much. Love your content." This was a throwback review, but I wanted to be shared to get it.
Mandy, thank you so much for your review. I really sincerely hope that these episodes are helpful. And the only way for me to know if these episodes are helpful for you and for us to keep going is if you leave us a review, if you tell us what are some of the things that you're getting from this episode or from this podcast, I would love to know. So if you have an Apple device, if you could pull it out, whether it's a MacBook, it's an iPad, it's an iPhone, pull out, type in the podcast app. Every single Apple device has it. And then once you're in the app, you can type in Embrace Your Real. Make sure you hit that beautiful purple subscribe button so that you never miss an episode and also be sure to rate and review it. All you got to do is scroll down to the bottom when you click on Embrace Your Real podcast, you will see it. It takes less than 30 seconds, but it truly does help out the podcast more than you know.
All right. So let's dive into my five reminders to you when you feel self-conscious. I want you to just close your eyes if you can. If you're not driving, close your eyes and imagine that we're just sitting down having a conversation. I want this to be a sister to sister talk, and I want you to take some notes. So maybe close your eyes, really tune in to what I'm saying, and then take some notes as you feel led. I want you to be able to come back to these notes time and time again. So I will be posting them on the Embrace Your Real account, so be sure to go over to that account as well if you're not already following that, and that will be available for you to be able to save, screenshot, you can post it up as your lock saver, whatever you need to do. But here we go.
Number one, other people's opinions are a reflection of them, not you. Most of the time, nothing really has to do with us. We think we forget how self-consumed most people are, which is fine. I don't mean that in a negative way, but most people are so wrapped up in their own insecurities to even notice yours. And when they do judge you for something, it's generally because it's triggering something of their own insecurity. So take everything that you hear or see or have done to you with a grain of salt. And remember, it's not you. It's them. And I need you to move on.
Number two, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. This is a quote by Bernard Baruch. I'm sure you've heard it a thousand times before, but honestly, I think it's worth hearing a thousand times because it is so true. The people who actually matter in your life will celebrate you embracing your real. If someone in your life judges you for that and doesn't celebrate you for that, it's a clear sign that they aren't someone that should take up your time or energy. You only want to surround yourself with people who love and appreciate you for being your truest, most authentic self. So if someone doesn't, that is an easy way to know you don't need to waste your time and energy on their opinions. We don't need people like that in our lives. So I want you to do an audit in your life. Are there people in your life that are not celebrating or quite frankly, maybe not even knowing your truest self, which is actually going to lead me into number three.
If people don't like you for embracing your real, they aren't going to like you more for pretending to be somebody else. You are the only one that can be you and you are the best at being yourself, not a carbon copy of someone else. So just be you. I want you to be your real true, authentic self, because that's when you're going to show up as the best version of yourself. The people that actually matter appreciate realness in a person. They're attracted to realness. They want more realness in their lives. Trust me when I say, there are so many times you guys that I have shown up as my realest and most authentic self, and it has been terrifying because let's be real, it's scary to show up as yourself. But when you do, you get this energy back that is something I can't even describe. And it's because humans crave human authentic interaction.
Whether you think that or not, I know for me when someone pops onto Instagram or when someone pops onto my social feed and they're just being their truest, most authentic self, whether I agree with it or not, I respect it. I respect it because if that is them showing up as themselves and I respect when humans are brave enough and courageous enough to show up as who they were created to be. And it's not always easy. It's not easy to show up as your truest, most authentic self. And I think oftentimes we don't because we're scared of what another person is going to say. Because if we do show up as our truest, most authentic self and we get hate, that's that person hating us in our self being most authentic. But speaking from experience, when and if I get hate when showing up as my truest, most authentic self, I can brush it off so much easier because I'm confident in who I am. And I remind myself that I'm not going to be everybody's cup of tea and that's okay. Certain people's opinions, in fact, most people's opinions don't matter to me.
They don't carry weight in my life because they don't have a role in my life. I heard someone say this a few months ago. They said, "If the person doesn't play a role in my life, the weight of their opinion should mean nothing to me." And I was like, "Oh my gosh, I love that so much. That is so true and it's so easy to let the weight and the opinions of people that we don't even know, they don't carry any sort of role in our life. We let them consume our time and energy." And I'm here to tell you that you need to just continue to show up as yourself. The people that actually matter in your life, they appreciate the realness in you. So I want to encourage you to show up and be real and that is the best way to get the right people into your life.
Number four, no one judges you as harshly as you judge yourself. Girl, I know this is cliche, but the truth is that you are your harshest critic. When you look at yourself, you instantly notice everything, the wrinkles, the cellulite, the extra blah-blah-blah because they stick out like a sore thumb to you. But you are the only one that is likely noticing them. What other people notice is your radiating smile, the sparkle in your eye, the passion in your voice, the energy that you bring, literally everything but those insecurities that you see. I made a post on Embrace Your Real account a few days ago and I asked you, "Do you actually care what somebody looks like? Does it bother you if someone is carrying an extra 15 pounds or they didn't get enough sleep so they have bags under their eyes?" No. Oftentimes people are too wrapped up thinking about their own body, their own problems to even think about yours. Just remember that. You are your own harshest critic. You need to give yourself some more grace.
And number five, what you see in yourself is not the same as what other people see in you. Here's a little analogy to put it into perspective. Have you ever been in the most beautiful place and you take a bunch of photos to try to capture the beauty, and later you go back and look at the photos and you're just frustrated because none of the photos you took actually did justice to the beauty that you saw. Remember this when you look at the photos of yourself. What you see in the photo is not what other people see when they're looking at you.
Okay, let me recap this five reminders. Number one, other people's opinions are a reflection of them, not you. Number two, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Number three, if people don't like you for embracing your real, they aren't going to like you more for pretending to be somebody else. Number four, no one judges you as harshly as you judge yourself. And number five, what you see in yourself is not the same as what other people see in you.
Lastly, if you are not already following Embrace Your Real on Instagram and love the messages that I share in this podcast, you are missing out. It is a must follow account if you're serious about building a healthier relationship with food, fitness, your body, and yourself. So be sure to take out your phone right now, open up Instagram, search Embrace Your Real and give it a follow. Also, I will be posting these five things today on Embrace Your Real account. You can easily go to that post, save it. I want to encourage you to share it out. I believe that things that we consume every single day, whether that be in our social feeds, whether that be the people around us, the time that we spend doing certain things, that is a culmination of what we spend our time and energy on. And that's directly going to impact the output that you have in your life.
So if you are inputting all of these negative things, these things that are causing you to compare, these things causing you to come up with all of these negative feelings about yourself, your body, you need to do a serious detox. I want to encourage you to go through that list, unfollow everybody that is making you feel less than or causing you to compare yourself to, you deserve to spend your time and energy on things that are going to help build you up, encourage you and remind you what life is truly about. I hope that this message encouraged you. I hope that you found something from this. If you have a girlfriend or a sister or someone in your life that you feel like would really benefit from this episode in particular, I just ask that you share it out. As always, you can screenshot this, post it up on your story, be sure to tag me, Julia Ledbetter and tag Embrace Your Real account now that you are following that on Instagram. I love you guys so, so much. And I'll talk to you in the next episode.
All right, sister, that's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the Gram, be sure to do so, @juliealedbetter. Yes, it's with an A in the middle for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world. And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace your real because you're worth it.