Choosing Yourself: What It Really Means and Why It’s Time to Start
Hey girl, it’s time to choose YOU first! Let’s talk about what it really means to put yourself at the top of the list—and how to do it guilt-free.
In this episode, I’m sharing 7 ways to start prioritizing yourself TODAY. If you’ve been waiting for a sign to finally put yourself first, here it is. No more feeling guilty or waiting for permission—this is your moment!
Because, girl—you deserve to be chosen. And that choice starts with you.
What I discuss:
Setting Boundaries That Protect You
Letting Go of People-Pleasing
Trusting and Believing in Yourself
Letting Go of People Who Don’t Hold Onto Yo
Resting Before You Burn Out
Embracing authenticity
If you loved this episode, you’ll also love: Episode 85: What Would You Do If You Loved Yourself More?
https://www.juliealedbetter.com/embrace-your-real/what-would-you-do-if-you-loved-yourself-more
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Transcript:
Hey there, beautiful human, you're listening to Embrace your Real with me, julie Ledbetter, a podcast where I empower you to just be you. With each episode, I dish you a dose of real talk and actionable advice for building your confidence, honoring your body and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned. If you're ready to embrace your real, let's get in, let's go, let's get it, let's go. Hello, hello, and welcome back to another bonus episode on the Embrace your Podcast.
00:31
Today we are talking about something that I know so many of us struggle with, and that is choosing yourself. I know many of you can't even imagine what that would feel like Like. Maybe you have been the one who's always showing up for everyone else. You're putting everybody else's needs ahead of your own. Always you're bending over backwards to make sure everyone is happy except yourself. If that is you, I want you to know that it is not selfish to choose yourself. It is necessary. So if you are learning this year what it means to really put you first, this episode is for you. I want to dive into what choosing yourself actually looks like and how you can start making yourself a priority without guilt. So we're just going to dive right into it.
01:06
Number one choosing yourself means finally prioritizing your needs. If you've been in the habit of putting other people's needs first, especially people who don't value you in return, it is time to shift your energy. Choosing yourself means recognizing that your needs do matter too. You deserve to feel supported, you deserve to feel loved, you deserve to feel fulfilled and not drained and undervalued. So I want you to ask yourself am I constantly giving to people who wouldn't do the same for me? If so, it's time to start prioritizing your own well-being. Number two choosing yourself means setting boundaries that protect you. Remember that boundaries aren't really about shutting people out. They're actually about protecting your mental and emotional health. If certain people or certain situations or commitments are leaving you feeling exhausted or even resentful, that is a time. That, and maybe that's a sign that you need stronger boundaries in your life. Right now, just start saying no without overexplaining. You don't need to justify protecting your peace or protecting your energy or allowing yourself the time that you need to recharge. I get it. If you're a busy mom, you're a busy working professional and you just have so much else going on and you're constantly just saying yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You're literally giving yourself no time to recharge and, as a result, the people who love you and the people who need you are not going to get the best of you.
02:26
Number three choosing yourself means letting go of people pleasing. This is a huge one for me, like how often do you make these decisions based on what other people will think or trying to make other people happy instead of what is actually best for you? Remember that choosing yourself means breaking that cycle. It means making choices that align with your values, your needs, your happiness, and not constantly bending over backwards to keep other people comfortable. So ask yourself am I doing this because I want to or because I feel obligated? If it's obligation, it's just time to rethink your choices.
03:00
Number four choosing yourself means trusting and believing in yourself. You are capable, you are worthy you don't need outside validation to prove that and choosing yourself means that you are standing firm in your decisions, you're backing yourself fully and you know that it is okay to say no. Next time you have this self-doubt of saying no or setting these boundaries, I want you to pause and I want you to remind yourself I am fully capable of making the best decision for myself. I want you to trust your instincts, trust what your mind is telling you, or trust what your body is telling you. Oftentimes our body are giving us so many signals and we get so good at ignoring all of those signals of exhaustion or just pushing ourselves too far. And so I want you to take a step back and I want you to trust and believe that your body knows what you need. And so just listen to your body. Listen to what your body is telling you. Do you need a day of rest? Do you need a day of no plans on the weekend? Whatever that is like, it is okay to skip out. It is okay to say no and just trust and believe that your body will tell you.
04:04
Number five choosing yourself means letting go of people who don't hold on to you. This one's tough, because sometimes we hold on to people who wouldn't do the same for us, like, but the relationships that we are in, they should feel mutual, not one-sided. If someone in your life isn't meeting you with the same energy or support or effort, it might be time to let them go, or not let them go entirely if they absolutely need you. I get there are some situations where we have sick loved ones that just they cannot be there for us in the way that we need to be there for them. That's not what I'm talking about. But I'm talking about. But I'm talking about, you know, those one-sided relationships where you feel like you're just you're always giving to them and they're not giving to you at all, and it's just not reciprocal at all.
04:44
So ask yourself, like, am I holding on to someone or a situation that is not showing up for me? And if the answer is yes, it might be time to just loosen the grip a little bit. Take a step back Doesn't mean that you have to take, you know, a step back forever, but take a step back and just kind of evaluate it, kind of feel it out, kind of see how you're feeling, pray about it, talk to loved ones who you trust that you're significant other about it, and just kind of hold it loosely. That's what I'm going to say. Hold it loosely, don't try to white knuckle it, right? I feel like we are so good at white knuckling things because we are just in the habit of it. We are just in this routine of well, this is what we always do, and so we never give ourselves time to kind of loosen the grip and ask ourselves if it actually is the healthiest thing.
05:27
Number six choosing yourself means resting before you burn out. You don't have to earn rest. Let me say that again Postpartum mamas myself included. You don't have to earn rest. You don't have to run yourself into the ground before you're allowed to take a break. Choosing yourself means listening to your body, recognizing when you need rest and actually giving yourself permission to take it without guilt. So what do you do? Stop waiting for exhaustion to be the reason that you finally slow down, or sickness or your body just screaming at you. Instead, I want you to prioritize rest before you burn out.
06:01
And number seven choosing yourself means accepting who you are fully. No more picking yourself apart, no more thinking that you have to change X, y and Z in order to be worthy. Remember God loves you just as you are Now. I'm not saying that there aren't areas of improvement or areas in your life that you can or should be changing, but instead I want you to really take a look at yourself and stop beating yourself up for flaws. Stop beating yourself up for all of these things. Give yourself loads and loads and loads of grace and remember that we all come with flaws, we all come with strengths and everything in between, and you are deserving to be loved and you are to be in a life full of love and acceptance and happiness and success, just as you are Like. You absolutely don't need to change all of these things about yourself just to think that you need to experience these things. So instead, I want you to really just give yourself loads and loads of grace. Start speaking to yourself with kindness.
06:59
And again, if you wouldn't say it to your best friend, if you wouldn't say it to your daughter or your niece, don't say it to yourself. That is a great rule of thumb and that has caught me in so many different areas of my life where I'm starting to beat myself up, especially postpartum, like there are so many areas like, oh, you didn't get X, y and Z done, or, oh, your body doesn't look like X, y and Z, and I just start, you know, these critical thoughts start coming up into my mind and I start speaking them over myself and I really have to stop in the moment. I'm trying to get better at that, stopping in the moment and saying would I literally say this to my best friend? Would I literally say this to my sweet, precious nieces that I have that are so innocent and so beautiful and they have the whole world ahead of them. No, I wouldn't. So why am I saying it to myself? And so that's a great rule of thumb to kind of stop yourself in your tracks, the moments that you find yourself just beating yourself up and just speaking yourself negatively. Okay, so there you have it. Those are seven ways to really start choosing yourself.
07:54
Let me quickly recap. Number one prioritize your needs. Stop putting yourself last. Remember that your needs matter. Number two set boundaries. Protect your energy and say no without the guilt. Number three let go of people-pleasing. Remember make choices that serve you, not just others. I'm not saying that you can't serve other people. I'm just saying that you have to let go of that people-pleasing nature, and it's gonna take time. It's not something that happens right away. Number four believe in yourself. Stop doubting your worth. Trust your decisions. Number believe in yourself. Stop doubting your worth. Trust your decisions. Number five let go of people who don't show up for you.
08:28
This is not saying that there aren't going to be times in our life where you know loved ones are sick or loved ones just cannot give to us what we are giving to them. That's not what I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about when I say relationships should be mutual. Number six rest before you burn out. Stop waiting until you're exhausted or until your body is screaming at you, or until your body has completely stopped and is so sick before you take a rest, before you take a break. And last but not least, number seven just give yourself loads and loads and loads of grace and remember that you have to start speaking to yourself with kindness. If you wouldn't say it to your best friend, if you wouldn't say it to your daughter or your niece, don't say it to yourself. If you've been waiting for a sign to finally start choosing yourself, this is it. No more putting yourself last, no more feeling guilty for making yourself a priority, no more waiting for permission, because you deserve to actually choose yourself. You deserve to prioritize yourself. Remember that prioritizing yourself is not bad, because when you prioritize yourself, you are allowing yourself to become the best version of yourself, so that you can serve others in your best capacity.
09:34
If you love this episode, I know you'll also love episode 85. What would you do if you loved yourself more? Again, episode 85,. What would you do if you love yourself more. I will go ahead and post that in the show notes that you can easily go check that out, but I think that you'll find that episode very beneficial. That is all that I have for today's episode. I love you so dang much. I mean it, and let's start choosing ourselves so that we can be our best versions of ourselves, so that we can go out there and serve those who we love in the best capacity.
10:03
All right, love you so much. Talk to you in the next one. All right, sister, that's all I got for you today, but I have two things that I need you to do. First thing if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so. Julie A Ledbetter yes, it's with an A in the middle for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world, and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace your real, because you're worth it.