7 Things That Will Boost Your Self Esteem
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Did you know you have THREE different selves? That’s right, THREE!
The first type of self is your ideal self. This is the type of person that you want to become.
The second type of self is your actual self. This is who you really are as a person.
The third type of self is your perceived self. This is how you view yourself or who you think you are.
Studies have shown that our third self that really dictates our lives. How we view ourselves changes how we live our lives and how we interact with the world. But unfortunately, most of us don’t perceive ourselves in a good light.
Here are some shocking stats…
90% of women wish they could change at least one thing about their physical appearance.
81% of 10-12 year-old girls are scared to be considered fat.
1 out of 4 women, in the 16-20 year old women group, suffer from an eating disorder.
Only 2% of women consider they are beautiful.
These stats PROVE why it’s so important for us to work on our self esteem. That’s why in this episode of the Embrace Your Real podcast, I’m going to share some simple ways to start boosting your self esteem.
Link mentioned in this episode:
Episode 197: Real Talk on Building Confidence in 2022
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Website: www.juliealedbetter.com
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Transcript:
Hey. Hey, beautiful human. Can I steal 5 minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Role With Me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned. If you're ready to embrace a real. Let's get it. Let's go.
Welcome back to another bonus episode of the Embrace Roll podcast, seven things That Will Boost Your Self-esteem. Did you know that we have three different selves? That's right, three. So the first type of self is what they call ideal selves. So this is the type of person that you want to become. The second type of self is your actual self. So this is who you really are as a person. And then the third type of self is your perceived self. So this is how you view yourself or who you think you are. Now studies have shown that our third self really dictates our lives. How we view ourselves changes, how we live our lives and how we interact with the world. But unfortunately, many of us do not perceive ourselves in a good light. Some shocking statistics that I had to share with you. As I was reading through these, I was like, Oh, my goodness, but it's so true. If I'm just looking back on my life, you know, the struggles that I have had in my life and at such a young age. So 90% of women wish they could change at least one thing about their physical appearance. 81% of 10 to 12 year old girls are scared to be considered fat, not just they're scared to be fat. They're scared to be considered fat. So perceived what other people think to be fat. One out of four women in the 16 to 20 year old women group range suffer from an eating and or body image disorder, and only 2% of women consider that they are what is called beautiful or what they perceive to be beautiful, or what the world perceives to be beautiful. These stats right here prove why it is so important for us to work on our self-esteem. I wish that I could look my younger self in the mirror and say, You are beautiful. You are made in the image of God and nothing, nothing that you think that you can do will make you any more worthy or valuable. Your value comes from God. You are enough because God is enough. And oh my goodness.
So if there is a younger woman in your life, whether it's your daughter, it's your niece, it's someone who is close to you or kind of in your sphere. I just want you to speak life and truth and them as much as humanly possible. And just remember, you know, I think about the list that I have of people in my life when I was younger. And even though I kind of shook it off when they would, you know, speak life and truth into my life, it meant a lot. And even here, 32 years later, I'm looking back or 32 years here I am, not 32 years later, unless they were speaking to me at zero at age zero, but especially in middle school and high school, I look back years later, decades later, and I'm like, Man, I am so grateful for that person. I'm so grateful that that person continuously spoke truth into my life, continuously told me that I was beautiful and I was made in the image of God and I was enough because God is enough and all of these things.
So even if it's your daughter or your niece or someone in your life is kind of shrugging it off and maybe you're like, I don't even know if it's making a difference. I want to encourage you that it is it is making a lasting impact in their life. So continue to speak truth into their life. Continue to remind them that they are beautiful and powerful and that they are going to do amazing things in this life. So that's why I think, again, it's just so important that we work on our self-esteem. And so in this episode, I want to share some simple ways to start boosting your self-esteem.
But before I do, I wanted to share this super sweet review comes from kel.114. She give a five star review and said, So happy. I found this podcast, I just found this podcast and boy, am I glad that I did. Julie is a breath of fresh air and everything she says resonates with me. It's like she's speaking right to me. Thank you for such a great podcast and all of the awesome content. I love it, I love this and I love you and I'm so grateful that you found this podcast too. If you could scooch over to Apple Podcasts and leave a rating interview, that would help me tremendously. It helps us this podcast and our team just not only know what content is helping you or how it's helping you, but also when new people stumble upon this podcast, whether it's through the charts or through a friend recommending it, they typically go to the reviews to see what other people are getting out of it, and that's what they determine basically. On if they're going to listen to the podcast or not. So thank you in advance for doing it. I appreciate you so, so much.
Let's dove in to this bonus episode. So number one, start taking control of what you can control. It's been shown that people who have low self esteem often feel like they have little control over their lives or what happens to them. Now, this can be due to feeling like they have little ability to create change in themselves or in the world, which means that if you really want to build your self-esteem, you have to start taking more control of your life. So determine the things that are within your control and start taking control of those things. You can control what you do and don't do daily. You can control what you say yes to and what you say no to. You can control where you put your. Energy or how you react to things, what your perspective is, the habits that you adopt or don't adopt, and the people that you spend time with. The list goes on and on and on. So you've got to remember that start. When you start taking control of what you can control, it's likely that your self-esteem will actually increase.
Number two, stop comparing yourself. There is enough room in this world for every single one of our beauty. So stop thinking just because someone else is beautiful that it makes you less beautiful or someone else is successful. That doesn't mean you can't be successful or someone else is doing X, Y, and Z. That means you can't do it. Who's ever life you think is way better than yours and who's every life you wish that you were living? You have to remind yourself and ask yourself, Have you ever actually lived that life before? No. You've never spent an even millisecond in that skin. You've never spent a second in that person's life or in their body. You don't know what it's like. So why are you so sure that it is better than yours? Because in reality, you really have no idea. All you are doing is going off of a complete assumption. And that in and of itself is allowing you to ruin how you are experiencing life in your own life and in your body. So stop assuming that the grass is always greener on the other side. We are all created in the image of God. We are all beautiful, we are all powerful and we are all capable. And God wants to do amazing things through every single one of you. We each have our unique gifts, our talents, our resources are different. That people that we are called to impact are different. It's amazing. And when we can cheer one another on, that is truly what it's about. It's about looking at our life and saying, I was blessed with this and I have this to give and I have these resources or I have these gifts or I have these talents. Nobody else has that same impact that you do. You are unique. The fingerprint that you have on this world is unique to you. Nobody else will have that same exact replicate impact on this life that you will just remember that. So figure out what your gifts are. Figure out what your talents are. Embrace those and cheer one another on instead of comparing with one another.
Number three Ask for what you need. So if you have low self esteem, you may be afraid to ask for help because you feel embarrassed or you feel incompetent. Or maybe you feel like you don't deserve help. None of these things are true. I want to challenge you to start asking for help when you need help. The more that you ask for help, the more you realize how deserving of help you actually are. And also, when you get that help, you realize that you can actually help so many other people because you're being helped in the areas that you need to be helped. I know that kind of sounds silly, but it's so true. Oftentimes we're so focused and embarrassed on man and we feel so stupid asking about this. And the fact of the matter is, if you ask help in one area of your life, it will free you in a different area of your life so that you can go out into this world and use the gifts and talents that God has blessed you with in a much bigger and better and more focused capacity, because you have the help that you need in a certain area of your life so that you don't need to worry about that and you can actually go and help other people.
Number four. Accept positive feedback. When someone gives you a compliment, take it. 99% of the people are not just passing out compliments. Most people are thinking nice things about someone in their head, but they're just not sharing it with them. I know that's me all of the time. I am passing by someone. I'm like, Man, that's a really cute outfit. Or Dang, that girl's makeup is awesome, or her hair looks bomb or whatever it is. But 99.9% of the time, I don't say it out loud. And so I'm telling you that when someone's actually takes the time to say something nice about you or to your face or compliment you like they mean it. Don't brush it off. Don't try to push off the compliment. Take it, accept the compliment and believe the compliment. And in fact, I want to encourage you for every compliment that you get. Give 3 to 4 or five more compliments to other people, because in the same way that it changes your life, it changes your mindset, it can change the course of your day. One compliment, one small thing said to you that's in a positive manner can change the course of your day. When you get that and you are on the receiving end of that, I want to encourage you to go out and then do it to someone else. Times five and see how good you feel knowing that it's hopefully going to change the course of their day.
Number five, nurture the relationships in your life that builds you up. Many times poor self-esteem comes from how others make us feel about ourselves, which is why we need to pay attention to the relationships in our lives that really build us up and the relationships in our lives. At Harristown your community. The. People that you surround yourself with on a daily and weekly and monthly basis. Those are people that should make you feel amazing. Those are people that should be cheering you on. Those are the people that should be, of course, giving you constructive criticism when there's a time and place because they love you so much. But also, those are the people that are just loving you and loving your real authentic self. Right. And so I want you to remember that and nurture those relationships that really build you up and stop spending time with people that make you question your worth. Stop spending time with people that make you feel less than or that are just not going in the direction of life that you want to be going in. It's okay to say no. It's okay to create boundaries. And yes, sometimes, unfortunately, those people are in our family and there's a time and place to spend time with our family. But there's also a time and place to create boundaries with our family. Create those boundaries when you need to and know that they can be maybe blood related, but they don't have to have a say in your life that not everybody has that opportunity to have a say in your life. And so you need to make sure that you are correctly ordering them in your life in terms of allowing what the people that actually love you and actually want to see the best for you, allowing their wisdom and allowing their encouragement to be what you hear. And sometimes the other people that just they don't have a time and place in your life, they they they don't have the right to do that. Sometimes you can let them talk, but let it go want and let it go in one ear and out the other. And that's okay. There's a time and place for that.
Number six, improve your physical self. So when we start taking care of ourselves physically, we actually begin to feel better about ourselves mentally. There's been so many studies that have shown that, and it's simply because there's so many amazing things that happen when we start moving our body, when we just simply move our body like the dopamine that we get. The things that happen physiologically is amazing. And the more that we take care of ourselves, the more that we actually end up loving ourselves. So maybe you're not working out or eating healthy for physical goals, but do it for the fact that you know that it will help your mental aspect. And when your mental aspect of your life is healthy and confident, you will actually be healthier and more confident simply because so much of our confidence comes from where we are mentally. Right. I've talked about this so many times, but I have been my physically meanest self. I have had the fittest six pack shell of a body. And yet my mindset, my mental aspect was so far from healthy that I didn't even experience confidence at all in that body. And it's because so much of it has to do with our mindset. So remember when you actually start taking the measures needed to improve your physical self, not even just for like the physical goals, do it for the mental aspect that's most important.
And number seven, start helping others. So maybe this is volunteering, maybe it's mentoring, maybe it's getting more involved in your church or at school or whatever it is. Just start helping others because when you start helping others, when you feel appreciated or when you realize how valuable you, your gifts and talents actually are, you actually start to feel more fulfilled and you start to feel more confident. I know it sounds crazy. I know it kind of sounds backwards, but we were created for this. We were created for community. We were created to make a difference in this world and use the gifts and talents that God has given us to bless other people. And another thing that happens when you are helping others is that you realize that you're so much more than your body. You're so much more than what your body looks like. You are so much more like you are the content of your character. Your character matters the way that you love, matters the way that you show up matters all of those things. That is ultimately what this world needs. And you can do amazing things for your community. You can do amazing things in the areas that you are working in, regardless of what your body looks like. And that is a beautiful thing. Once you start realizing that your appearance means so little in comparison to the impact that you can make with the gifts and talents that you've been blessed with.
Okay, so let me recap those seven things to start helping you boost your self-esteem. Number one, start taking control of what you can control. Number two, stop comparing yourself. Number three, ask for what you need. Number four, accept positive feedback. Number five, nurture the relationships that build you up, not tear you down. Number six, improve your physical self. And number seven, start helping others. If you love this episode, I know you also love Episode 197 Real Talk on Building Confidence in 2022. I love this episode so much I feel like there are. So many things in that episode that I wish I would have known years ago. And so if you're struggling in the confidence realm, like if you're just struggling, feeling insecure, not feeling confident in your abilities or in the different areas of your life that you are showing up in on a daily basis, I encourage you to tune in to Episode 197. I will link it in the show notes so that you can easily go listen, if you have a girlfriend, a friend, a sister, a coworker, or someone in your life that you feel like would benefit from this specific episode, please share it out. You can screenshot it, you can post it up on your story. You can also copy the link, send it to them in a text message. You never know how this could change the course of someone else's life. And so I just want to ask you if you could share it with 1 to 3 of your people, that would be amazing.
And to think about the impact that it would make on this generation, if women actually started showing up as their authentic selves, as their real, raw, authentic selves, we could actually start genuinely changing the narrative of what society has put on us as a whole of just, you got to do this, you got to look like this. Don't do this, don't do that. No, I want us to show up as real and raw and authentic, and it starts with just spreading truth. And I hope that this episode gave you that. I hope that you got something from it. Again, if you could leave a rating interview, that would mean the absolute world to me. Just type and embrace your real on any Apple device. It could be an iPad, it could be an iPhone. Your computer that would really help us out so, so much. That is all that I have for today's bonus episode. I love you so stinking much now. See you in the next episode.
All right, sister. That's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so, @juliealedbetter. Yes. It's with an a in the middle for that daily posts about real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember, that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace real because you're worth it.