7 Mindset Shifts for Building a Healthier Relationship with Your Body
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Want to know how I built the body I want and developed a healthy relationship with my body?! In this episode of Embrace Your Real, I share 7 mindset shifts that drastically helped me get to where I am today.
I know there are so many toxic thoughts in your mind when it comes to your weight loss goals, but it is those exact thoughts that are not only holding you back from actually building the body you want but also holding you back from having a healthy relationship with your body. So let’s chat dive into these 7 mindset shifts so you can finally build a healthier relationship with your body (+ build the body you want!).
Episodes mentioned:
3 Things Your Food Cravings Are Trying to Tell You
What Happens When You Don't Eat Enough
Why You Should Consider a Reverse Diet (The Only Diet I Support!)
TRANSCRIPT:
Hey there beautiful human. You're listening to Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter, a podcast where I empower you to just be you. With each episode, I dish you a dose of real talk and actionable advice for building your confidence, honoring your body and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real. Let's get in, let's go.
Hello and welcome back to the Embrace Your Real Podcast. I am so grateful that you are spending some time with me today, wherever you are tuning in all over the world. We're talking all about mindset shifts today, and I am so excited. I get really pumped up talking about this because you know I'm a sucker of empowerment and perspective shifts and helping you build your toolbox of knowledge and empowerment and perspective and all these things that you can use, whether it's today, it's tomorrow, it's two months from now, it's two years from now. I think that we should never, ever, ever stop growing, never stop developing, never stop striving for constant growth. And so today we're talking about the mindset shifts that you need to make right now if you want to build a healthy relationship with your body and actually build the body that you want.
I know there are so many toxic thoughts. Hello? We have over 60,000 thoughts every single day. And I know there's so many of those that are toxic when it comes to weight loss goals. And it's those exact thoughts that are number one, holding you back from actually building the body that you want. And number two, holding you back from having a healthy relationship with your body. So today let's chat about the seven mindset shifts I know that we should make. But before I do, I want to dive into the Super Sweet Review of the day. She says, "Love, love, love listening. Julie knows what's up. I'm so done with the yo-yo dieting and focusing so much on the perfect body. I always feel encouraged listening to her podcast just to honor my body and move. Thank you, Julie." Thank you so much for the review. If you haven't already rated and reviewed the podcast, it really does help us. We are growing by the day, over 100 countries strong and by you leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, it really does help spread the message. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
All right. Mindset shift number one, feeling full is not the enemy. Feeling full is the goal. I just talked about this in episode 47, food commentary you need to drop. But we often say I'm so full. I feel so fat. But I'm here to remind you that full does not equal fat. I know so many of you are scared of feeling full. And then if you feel full, then you feel like you failed. Sister, you did not fail, you succeeded. You nourish your body with what it needed, and now you have the energy to live your life. I know that this is something that you're feeling because I used to literally go all day without eating until I couldn't take the hunger pains any longer. And the sound of my stomach growling was so embarrassing, especially when I was at work and there was people around me. It was like mortifying.
Not only was I not nourishing my body with what it needed, but once I finally did eat, I would literally eat everything in sight. And this is a cycle that avoiding the feeling of fullness puts you into. You go a day or days or a week constantly feeling hungry, and then when you allow yourself to actually satiate your hunger, you overindulge. And then when you overindulge, you feel guilty and you feel like you failed, you feel frustrated, you feel all the feelings. And then that makes you think that you need to go days again without feeling full. And this is how we live on repeat. Let me be clear. When I say full, I mean eating until you're no longer hungry. I do not mean eating until you're absolutely stuffed.
I think the misconception here is that full and stuffed are the same thing, but they're actually two separate things. The common thing is to under eat then cave and allow yourself to eat and then eat until you feel stuffed. That is the actual feeling you fear, not feeling full, but we can break the cycle if we nourish our body regularly throughout the day. And we never reach the point where we feel like we need to eat everything in sight to the point where we feel stuffed. If we reach that feeling of fullness, every time we eat and also listen to our hunger cues and eat when we are hungry, we will avoid overindulging and feeling stuffed.
Mindset shift number two, the mirror lies. Your body will look different in every single mirror you look in, because even if there is the smallest, tiniest little bend in the mirror, it will make you look bigger than you are. And the most often the bend in the mirror isn't even visible to us, but mirrors can start to bend over time just from its own weight. So if the mirror isn't perfectly flat and I mean like absolutely perfectly flat, then the image is going to be distorted. That's why you may have heard the term fat mirrors and skinny mirrors. So with that being said, whatever reflection you see, just take it with a grain of salt, even more so when you're looking at your reflection in a window or a car mirror. Those are definitely going to be inaccurate, distorted reflections of yourself.
But one last thought on mirrors. Why are you so quick to believe that the "fat mirror" is the way that you actually look and the "skinny mirror" is not even close to being accurate. What if this skinny mirror is actually a closer reflection of what you actually look like and not the fat mirror? How do you know? You don't so quit assuming that the fat mirror is the truth. And at the end of the day, you have to remember that it comes from your perspective of yourself. So when you're looking in any sort of mirror, you have to choose to look at yourself with eyes of love. And I talk about this in my body positivity versus body neutrality episode. So be sure to tune into that one, because some days it's really hard for us to accept our body. And so that's where we can shift our mindset into body neutrality and just start to accept all of the things that our body does for us, not necessarily what our body looks like that day. So keep that in mind, take it with a grain of salt. You are beautiful.
Mindset shift number three, it's not your willpower that is pushing you off your diet. Now I'm going to dish it to you real. The reason why you can't stick to eating 1,100 calories a day is because you aren't meant to only be eating 1,100 calories a day. It's not because you don't have enough willpower or you're not disciplined enough or whatever toxic story you're telling yourself. It's because your body is screaming for more food, food that it actually needs to not only thrive, but to survive. So whenever you can't stick to your diet, you shouldn't punish yourself or feel disappointed in yourself or question why you aren't capable of being more disciplined because you're not failing. You're actually just giving your body the food and the fuel that it needs. It's not that you are failing, it's that your body is pushing you off this diet for a reason, simply because it needs more food.
So anytime your cravings are crazy or you feel hungry all the time, and you're so confused as to why, it's because you need more food. Your body is so much smarter than we give it credit for, it's your body screaming for more food. Tune into episode 16, three things your food cravings are trying to tell you to learn more. I go super deep dive into that topic. It's linked in the show notes for you to listen. So be sure to tune into that one, which leads to my next point.
Mindset shift number four, you don't need to get back on track because it's not a track you should be on. Be real with me. How many times have you said I need to get back on track, I need to get back on track. The reason why you keep falling, the reason why you keep getting off track is because it's not the track you are meant to be on. You need to get on a new track, a healthy track. Instead of beating yourself up about getting off track and getting mad at yourself for not being able to get back on track and being unbelievably frustrated about not being able to stay on track again, question why you are getting off track from that in the first place. I'm guessing most times it has something to do with trying to maintain unsustainable habits. So the new track you need to get on is a track that has sustainable habits, where it won't have you keep saying, I need to get back on track every single weekend.
I have been counting macros for seven years. Can you imagine staying on track for seven years? I'm guessing most of you can't imagine that. I'm guessing most of you haven't stayed "on track" for seven months, let alone seven weeks or seven days. But the track I'm on, again, lets me do things imperfectly. There's wiggle room for what you like, to call making mistakes. But I don't look at them as mistakes. I look at them as living a life I'm actually enjoying and following a track I can maintain longterm.
Mindset shift number five, you don't need to eat less. You just need to eat right. Okay, so yes, weight loss does require you to be in a caloric deficit, but most people don't realize it's not as big of a caloric deficit as you think. It's only 3 to 500 calories less than your maintenance calories. So for example, my maintenance calories are around 2,200. So if I wanted to do a small cut, I would reduce my caloric intake by 300 to 500 calories, which is between 17 to 1,900 calories per day. I personally don't dip below that because my body needs at least 1,700 calories to function properly. And anything less than that, I would be compromising my health. I would slowly be compromising my metabolism, throwing my hormones out of whack and causing other serious damage that I just don't want to mess with.
So when it comes to losing weight, a great chloric deficit does not mean you will lose weight faster. In most cases, it's a lot harder and will only make you gain more weight back and will mess up your metabolism long term, which makes it extremely hard to lose weight again. So I need you to stay away from eating less when working towards your goal of losing weight. I know it sounds contradictory, but you ultimately need to eat the right amount that your body needs. There's a difference between the two of eating less and eating the right amount. If you're serious about weight loss, you will be so much more efficient at actually losing the weight you want by eating the right amount of calories, the right amount of carbs, the right amount of fat, the right amount of protein that your body needs because you actually need to fuel your body correctly for it to be capable of burning fat.
If it isn't fueled correctly, instead of burning fat, it will store fat. If you want to learn more about what happens when you don't eat enough, check out episode 18, I've also linked it in the show notes so you can give that a listen next. I want to remind you though. I haven't always been able to eat this much and on maintenance, like I told you, my maintenance [inaudible 00:10:57] is around 2,200 calories. Back in 2013, I couldn't even lose weight on 1,100 calories because I had damaged my metabolism so badly. The reason I'm able to eat so much of my maintenance and even in a caloric deficit is because I've personally taken reverse dieting very, very seriously. I've done four reverse diets over the last seven years. And if you haven't heard the episode 46 that I just released recently, why you should consider a reverse diet, be sure to tune in to that one. I feel like it gives you a good context to this. And because you might hear my numbers and immediately want to compare my numbers to your numbers.
And ultimately you have to remember that we're all different human beings, which is why I am a huge advocate on customized nutrition because there's no two bodies the same. And even if the bodies are exactly the same, there's very, very rarely, like a 0.0001% chance that your lifestyles are going to be the same, that you have this same exact history with yo-yo dieting or fad diets. I mean, there's so many factors when it comes into it. So yes, I use my example here just for means of talking about it, but please, please, please remember that your body is different than my body. We have different activity levels, different ages, weights, heights, all of those things. And the beautiful thing that I talked about in episode 46 is that our metabolism is highly adaptable, which can go work in your favor or it can work against you depending on what you're doing. So be sure to tune into that because I really think that that's going to give you some really good insight as to this topic about fueling your body enough of for what it needs.
Mindset shift number six, obsessing over how much weight you need to lose doesn't help you lose more weight. I used to starve myself, work out for hours on end, skip out on memorable experiences and do anything to make myself skinnier no matter what the cost was. My hatred for my body dictated my worth, it ruled my emotions, it consumed my mind and it ultimately stole my joy. I thought if I were skinnier, I would finally love my body. I would finally feel more confident, feel worthy and be happier. Everything I did was related to weight loss. My life literally revolved around weight loss and I was miserable you guys, I was so miserable. What I was able to finally learn was that obsessing about weight loss, obsessing over every little imperfection that I wanted to change, obsessing over what you want your body to look like doesn't do anything for you. It does do something. It wastes your energy and it would be such a better use of your time and energy. If you quit allowing your weight loss obsession to consume you.
And instead gear that time and energy towards honoring your body with movement, nourishing your body, treating your body the way that it needs to be treated. Because when you do this, your body will naturally become what it's meant to be without ever having to obsess about it. It's amazing. I talk about this in episode 43, how to lose weight naturally, which is also linked in the show notes. So be sure to tune in there. But please, please, please remember that your time and your energy is so much better used in cultivating relationships, whether that's a relationship deeper with yourself or a relationship with a significant other, spending time with your friends and family and really investing in them. And at the bare minimum, having your foundational pieces like honoring your body with movement, nourishing your body with the fuel that it needs, taking time to create those mindset shifts, gratitude. Like all of those things are really going to help you lay a foundation that is strong, that will allow your body to naturally become what it's supposed to become.
Mindset shift number seven, it is normal to not eat perfectly all the time. I know you think you need to eat perfectly 24/7 if you don't want to feel like you're a failure. So here is some absolute, 100% real talk with you. Eating foods you love is normal. Depriving yourself 24/7 is not. It's normal to go to a cookout and enjoy a hamburger and chips. It's normal to go out for a pasta dinner with your man. It's normal for you to have a night in with your significant other, binge watch a TV show with pizza and popcorn. It's normal to have a girl's night with your friends and enjoy a couple glasses of wine if you like it, or White Claws or whatever you would like. It's normal to have a craving and allow yourself to eat what you are craving. You are allowed to enjoy the foods you love without shame, without guilt, without punishment and without regret. None of us, none of us are perfect when it comes to what we eat and we should never aim for perfection either.
The best part is that you can still build the body that you want without ever having to be perfect. Like hello, that's the dream life, but it's possible. I don't eat perfectly all the time. I don't try to eat perfectly all the time. Some days counting my macros isn't a thing. And some days I want pizza and ice cream, but it's what you do consistently that matters most because eating perfectly cannot be done longterm. There will be a party, you will go out to eat, you will have a craving. It is inevitable. So instead of getting mad at yourself, just focus on being consistent imperfectly. Because if you try to be perfect, you'll be extremely inconsistent. I say it all the time I know, but building the body that you want is all about honoring your body with movement, nourishing your body with what it needs consistently even if it's done imperfectly.
Being imperfectly consistent will always trump perfect inconsistency. Life is meant to be lived and constantly depriving yourself prevents you from actually living your life. Focus on 80-20. I promise when you just allow yourself the opportunity to enjoy yourself and stop punishing yourself, you'll be amazed at what naturally comes from that. Because you are creating a delicate balance in your life that is maintainable and ultimately sustainable. And that's what we're here for.
So let's recap on those mindset shifts that you need to make. Number one, feeling full is not the enemy. Number two, the mirror lies. Number three, it's not your willpower that is pushing you off your diet. Number four, you don't need to get back on track because it's not a track you should be on. Number five, you don't need to eat less, you just need to eat right. Number six, obsessing over how much weight you need to lose does not help you lose more weight. And number seven, it is normal to not eat perfectly all the time. And again, be sure to check out the episodes that I talked about in this podcast, episode 16, three things food cravings are telling you. Episode 18, what happens when you don't eat enough. Episode 46, why you should consider a reverse diet, AK, the only diet I support. And episode 43, how to lose weight naturally. And episode 45, body neutrality versus body positivity. Why you need to know the difference between the two.
So that is all that I have for today's episode. I hope that you enjoyed these seven mindset shifts. If you have somebody in your life, whether it's a friend, a sister, a coworker, someone that you know that could benefit from this episode, I just ask that you share out to three people in your life. All you've got to do is click the three dots on your screen if you're listening on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. That will open up the opportunity to tweet it out, put it on Facebook, put it out on Instagram, copy the link and send it in a text message, whatever you need to do to get this message out to more women.
We have a goal of reaching a million women to help a million women embrace the real and I cannot do this alone. We are a community, I'm so grateful for you. Thank you so much for tuning in. Be sure to screenshot this, post it up on your story. Tag me, Julie A Ledbetter so I can see it, I can cheer you on and I can put a face to a name. I love you so much. And I will talk to you guys in the next episode.
All right, sister, that's all I got for you today, but I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you're not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so. Julie A Ledbetter. Yes, it's with an A in the middle, for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check.
The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world and I'm going to leave you with one last thought The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace your real because you're worth it.