6 Steps for Making Any Habit Stick
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Okay, it’s officially 2021 and I know it’s motivating you to build new habits in your life, right?
But how many times have we tried to adopt new habits and they just don’t stick? How many times do we wish we could do something consistently but we just can’t seem to get ourselves to do it? We know we would benefit from it, we know it would elevate the quality of our life, but for some reason, the habit never becomes a habit.
So how do we troubleshoot this? How do we ensure that the habits we want to adopt actually become real habits in our lives? Lucky for you, I have 6 step process for making any habit stick!
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Hey there beautiful human, you're listening to Embrace Your Real, with me, Julie Ledbetter, a podcast where I empower you to just be you. With each episode, I dish you a dose of real talk, and actionable advice for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to Embrace Your Real. Let's get in, let's go.
Hello, hello. Welcome back to another episode of the Embrace Your Real podcast. So by now you know it is 2021, it is a New Year, and I know it's motivating you to want to build new habits in your life, you could really benefit from by implementing them into your life. I want to make sure that these habits that you want to implement actually stick. But this is the biggest thing that so many people struggle with. I want to dive into that, but before I dive into the six step process that I have for making any habit stick, I have to share this super sweet review, comes from Rach15382. She says, "Love, forever wishing me and Julie could be best friends." We are a girl. "She is the realist, and her and I have been through very similar stories. And this podcast is incredible." Thank you so much for this review.
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All right. Number one in the six step process, start small. The biggest problem that we have when adopting a new habit is setting too high of an expectation. Anybody else like, "That is totally me"? We want to start journaling, so we tell ourselves we need to do it every single morning. Or we want to start meditating, so we tell ourselves we need to meditate for 30 minutes at a time starting out. Or we want to start working out, so we tell ourselves we have to do these super hard full hour workouts. And then, we try to do whatever it is that we've declared we're going to do, but we can't seem to stick with it. But why? It's likely because we're going from zero to a hundred all at once. It's too much, too fast.
We need to give ourselves permission to start small. Start with journaling for five minutes. Start with meditating for two minutes. Start with working out by doing a 30 minute variation, or 15 minute variation. Start by tracking your macros by doing one meal, not trying to conquer your whole week. That's overwhelming. Start by waking up five minutes earlier, or whatever it is, start small. Don't focus on how much of something you're doing, focus on getting yourself to actually do it. Meditating for two minutes is going to be so much more beneficial than not meditating at all, because you likely won't be able to sit still for 30 minutes, starting out. And only doing a 15 or 30 minute variation of a workout is going to be so much more beneficial than not working out at all, because you can't get yourself to do the whole complicated full hour workout. Whatever it is, start small. And over time, you'll start to actually crave more and more and let that naturally happen. Don't force it.
Number two, you have to know your excuses. Why are you struggling to implement whatever habit it is into your life? What excuses are you making? Or what do you project your obstacle or excuses to be? I need you to sit down and write this out because taking the time to write down every excuse and every obstacle, you know or think you might have, you'll be able to have and find a solution to every single one of them, before you actually face it. If we keep letting our excuses take over, we never figure out how to dodge obstacles. We'll continue to make excuses over and over, and we'll continue to run into obstacles, one after another. Be proactive, you know yourself, you know your pitfalls, you know your struggles. Take time to actually sit down and address those things that you can face it, head-on, not if, but when that excuse or obstacle comes.
Number three, remove the friction. You have to make your new habit as easy to implement into your life as possible. You have to take out all of the friction. So if you want to start working out in the morning, you have to be sure to set your workout clothes at night, to make sure that they're ready to go first thing in the morning. If you're working out from home, set out your workout equipment so that's all ready to go, if you don't have a designated area in your house already. Fill the coffee maker with water, set up your coffee, so all you have to do is press start. If you don't have a timer, make overnight oats so you have all the food ready to go waiting for you when you wake up.
Or if you want to start eating more vegetables, right when you get home from the store, wash them, chop them and put them in your fridge, so they're super easy for you to grab. So that when you're hungry and you go into your fridge, you're not looking at all of these produce bags that still need to be washed, that still need to be cut, and chopped, and prepped. Make it easy for you. Eliminate any sort of friction. Or if you want to start cooking more, make a plan. Each week, what are you going to have for dinner? Plan it out. I know it might sound overwhelming, but the more that you do it, you're going to start to practice the habit, and it will become easier and more intuitive for you. That way, when you go to the grocery store, you actually have a list. You're not just going off of what you feel like you want that week.
Especially, I know many of us, we have financial goals and that's at the forefront of our mind when we enter into a New Year, if you're wanting stick to a budget, all of these things are going to help ensure that you're not just spending all this money at the grocery store, on food that you think you want. And then by the time you get home, and by the end of the week, you have all of this rotten food, because you did not plan accordingly.
Number four, make it your identity. This is something that James Clear actually goes way in depth, if you haven't already read Atomic Habits, it's such a good book. And this concept is actually life-changing when you apply it. He says that real behavior change is actually identity change. But what does that mean? It means that if you want to change your behavior and start working out more, your goal shouldn't be to work out more. Your goal should be to become someone who works out. Or it shouldn't be to eat healthier, it should be to become a healthy person. This is a perspective change. Your habit is no longer looking at something that you do, it is something that you are. You don't work out, you are someone who works out. You don't eat healthy, you are a healthy person. Do you notice a difference?
If you want to start meditating, tell yourself, I'm a meditator. If you want to start journaling, tell yourself, I'm a journaler. If you want to start cooking more, tell yourself you're a cook. Healthy people eat healthy, cooks actually cook, meditators actually meditate, journalers actually journal. So the more that you tell yourself, that's what you are, the more you're going to believe it, and the more your actions will align with that identity.
Number five, pair your habits. You have to take a look at the habits that you already do. You brush your teeth, you make your coffee, you cook your dinner, you watch TV. How can you start pairing your new habit with your old habits? For example, you meditate before you brush your teeth, or you always journal while your coffee is brewing, or you always work out before you watch your favorite shows. You know for a fact, you're going to brush your teeth daily, so if you pair that habit with the new habit of wanting to meditate, then you also know for a fact that you're going to meditate every day too. And since the two now go hand in hand, it's going to be seamless and easier for you to stick to it. Soon, that new habit will just be as automatic as the old habit.
Number six, do not sweat failure. If you don't do the habit, don't beat yourself up. Accept it for what it is, acknowledge why you didn't do it, and make a plan to ensure you don't make the same mistake tomorrow. We are not perfect, and we can not expect ourselves to be perfect. We can just do the best that we can each day. And remember that that's going to look different each day. Remember that consistent imperfect action is better than inconsistent, perfect action. It's better to do something four days a week for a year than only doing it perfectly for one week in the entire year. Do you catch what I'm drifting? You have to remember that failure is inevitable. But if you tell yourself, "When I fail, I choose to rise and continue to keep going," that's when you're going to actually stay consistent. And one bonus tip that I wanted to point out is, take it one habit at a time.
You have to make one habit a real habit before you add in another habit into the mix. For example, let's say you have four habits that you want to implement, you just pick two a day. So let's say you want to start working out, meditating, journaling, and eating more veggies. Maybe today you choose, "Okay, I'm going to work out and I'm going to eat veggies." And tomorrow you meditate and journal, and the day after that, you meditate and workout, and so on and so forth. Don't hold yourself to the expectation to do all four habits every single day, when you start out. Especially when you're going from zero to all of these four habits daily, just pick two. And once that seems manageable, pick three, and so on and so forth. What you'll notice from this technique is that once you start to consistently do two of the four habits daily, you're actually going to start craving the third and the fourth naturally, which will allow you to begin to do all the four habits daily.
Take it one habit at a time. I know it's very hard starting out, but basically, it's like a rinse and repeat. And once you start to master it, and you have all these four habits, think about the next four habits, and think about the next four habits. And then over the year, think about how many habits you'll have actually mastered. Then when you go into the next year, 2022, you have mastered however many habits that you have this year, you're just building upon it. And you're becoming wiser, and stronger, and more productive, year after year.
I want to recap those six steps. Number one, start small, number two, know your excuses, number three, remove the friction, number four, make it your identity, number five, pair your habits, and number six, don't sweat failure. And the bonus one, take it one habit at a time.
If you love this episode, I know you'll also love the episode that we linked in the show notes, 7 Steps to Setting and Actually Reaching Your Goals. Be sure to tune in to that episode. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you feel like you have someone in your life, or group of friends, that you believe would benefit from this episode, which honestly, I believe we have so many people in our life that have things, and goals, and dreams, and habits, that they want to implement, send it to them, send it to them in a text message. You can post it up on your story. Tag me, Julia Ledbetter. It really does help us out in the podcast world of just getting the word out of this podcast. And also, I want you, and I want your friends, and your circle of influence, to reach their goals this year. I want these habits to stick because it's likely going to bring you opportunities that you never thought existed because of the simple discipline of allowing these habits to stick.
Thank you so much for tuning in. I will talk to you guys in the next episode. All right, sister. That's all I got for you today, but I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you're not already following me on the Gram, be sure to do so, @Juliealedbetter. Yes, it's with an A in middle, for that daily, post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts, to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world, and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and Embrace Your Real, because you're working.