5 Thoughts on Overcoming Your Fear of Failure
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Recently I asked you all on Instagram what your greatest obstacle is when it comes to working towards your goals. And there was a large majority of you that shared how afraid you were of failing.
This REALLY got me thinking because to be honest, I was quite surprised by this answer. So I thought I would put together a podcast episode address this specific obstacle to help you overcome your fear of failing. I’m going to use it in the sense of using your health and fitness goals, although the same mindset shifts can be applied to ANY aspect of your life. Here’s a recap of the 5 thoughts on failing I want to share with you…
We have a tendency to focus on everything that can go wrong instead of focusing on everything that could go right.
The worse you can do is end up back where you are now.
Failing is not the opposite of success, it is a part of success.
There is no such thing as failure, there are only results.
Struggling and failing is not the same.
If you loved this episode, I know you’ll also love…
TRANSCRIPT:
Hey, there beautiful human. You're listening to Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter, a podcast where I empower you to just be you. With each episode, I dish you a dose of real talk and actionable advice for building your confidence, honoring your body and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real. Let's get in and let's go.
Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Embrace Your Real Podcast. I am so grateful that you are here spending some time with me today, and you've chosen to tune into today's episode. I think that this episode is going to be super impactful for you and really transformative in your mindset when it comes to overcoming your fear of failure. So recently, if you follow me on Instagram and you watch my stories, I asked on Instagram, what is your greatest obstacle when it comes to working towards reaching your goals? And a large majority of you guys said how you were afraid of failing. And it really got me thinking, because to be honest, I was quite surprised by this answer. So, I thought I would put together a podcast episode addressing this specific obstacle to help you overcome your fear of failure. And when these questions were being answered, they were specifically related to fear of failure in reaching your health and fitness goals.
But I think that this can apply to so many aspects of your life. It can apply to relationships. It can apply to your professional life. It can apply to putting yourself out there or doing something that you've always wanted to do, but you're scared because you're being held in this fear of failure. So before I dive in, I have to share this super sweet review. It comes from Caitlin Rose, she says, "Amazingly motivating. I've been listening to this podcast for a few months now and every time I listen to an episode, I am so motivated to do whatever I've been putting off. Every episode gives me a fresh perspective that I need sometimes. Thank you so much, Julie. I love this podcast." I appreciate you so much. This warms my heart. Thank you to every single one of you who has taken time to leave a review.
If you do leave a review, please screenshot it. You can post it up on your Instagram stories. Give me a tag and I will personally voice a message back to you. I just appreciate you taking time out of your day to do that because this really does help me reach more women in the goal and the pursuit of embracing our real. So thank you. If you haven't already, you can scooch over to Apple Podcasts. First, make sure you're subscribed so you never miss an episode and then you can scroll all the way down and you will see the rate and review there, it takes less than 30 seconds and it helps us out so, so much. Okay. So back to the episode, how do we overcome our fear of failing?
I have five thoughts on failing that I kind of want to share with you in today's episode. If you've been tuning in for a while, you know I am a list person. So if you love lists just as much as I do, you can pull out the notes app on your phone, you can write this down or just take mental notes. But number one, we have a tendency to focus on everything that can go wrong instead of focusing on everything that can go right. With anything in our lives. We don't take the leap because we focus on how we might not land on two feet when we do. I think many of us never even consider the idea that when we take the leap, we might actually land on two feet. Why do we never consider that thought? Our thoughts and words have so much power. We give power to what we focus on. Let me say that again. We give power to what we focus on, whether that is positive or negative. So when we focus on the idea of failing, we're giving that idea of failing power.
When we're fueling the idea that we will fail, the more we fuel it, the more likely it will become a reality. Essentially our brain doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is vividly imagined. So what we continue to imagine eventually will become our reality. Remember this. What we focus on grows and becomes more powerful. So we just need to start focusing more on the idea that what if everything goes right, what if we actually succeed? When we focus on that and we give that more thought power that's actually going to help you create more focus in turn, helping you actually take that focus and putting it into action.
Number two, the worst that you can do is end up back where you are. Let me explain this. You have three possible outcomes. Number one, you don't go after your goals and you stay right where you're at right now. Number two, you do go after your goals and you end up back to where you are right now, but you have the experience of putting yourself out there and the experience of failure, which is an opportunity. And I'll talk about that later in this episode. Or number three, you go after the goal and you actually reach them. So the absolute worst case scenario of going after your goals is ending up exactly where you are right now. So there really isn't much of a difference between not going after your goals and failing. Either way, you're going to be in the same place. But I always say you'll be in the same place, but with more experience under your feet.
So why is that so scary? So I want to ask you that question. Maybe you've never thought about this before. Why is that so scary? It shouldn't be that scary because when you go after your goals, you open yourself up to the opportunity of actually succeeding. Without trying, you'll never have that opportunity. You'll never give yourself the chance to actually feel confident or happy or healthy within your body, which is honestly a huge shame because you deserve to feel all of those things. You deserve to feel fulfilled and passionate. You deserve to feel confident, and healthy and happy. So in reality, we shouldn't be afraid of failing. What we should be afraid of is getting to the end of our life and recognizing how many opportunities we missed simply because we were too scared to take the first step. We were too scared to try, because we were scared that we were going to fail.
And one thing that really helps me with this, and I've talked about this on other episodes before, is the visualization of asking yourself, what would it look like, and how would it feel well, if I was in the same exact spot that I am right now, one year from now? Or if that doesn't scare you two years from now? Or five years from now? Or ten years from now? If that doesn't scare you, you're not actually visualizing it enough because I truly believe as humans, we are designed and programmed to grow, we have the opportunity to grow and we have the desire within us to grow and to get to newer heights. It's likely oftentimes our mind is what holds us back in that. So just remember that the worst case scenario in you, putting yourself out there and trying something new or going after that opportunity is that you end up back where you are right now, but only this time with more experience.
Number three, failing is not the opposite of success. It is actually a part of success. If you don't know this story, the CEO of IBM has a famous quote, where he says, "If you want success, you have to double down on your failure rate." This is because the majority of successful people didn't get it right on the first try. There's stories upon stories of people who have continually failed before they succeeded. When we see these success people, we often think about their success and we are completely unaware, aware of the failure that they endured to get there. And I was actually just talking to my husband, Joshua, about this, that so many people walk in on somebody chapter 17, and they just assume that everything has been like that. And that can get us in such a dangerous spot because we are comparing our starting point to where they are right now.
And you have no idea unless you've taken time to actually talk to them, sit down and ask them like, hey, what are your failures? What are the biggest things that you've learned over the years? What are things that you went through that you didn't anticipate? And that's honestly one of the best questions that I love to ask people. When I get to meet like a mentor or somebody that has really done a lot in their life, one of the questions that I always ask is what has been your biggest failure, and what did you learn from it? And I think that that ended up itself is such a question that can be unpacked in so many different people's lives with just opening up about failure, and normalizing it, and reminding us that in failure, there's so much opportunity. But I want to share some stories about failure that I think can really inspire you and remind you that every single one of these people that you may know right now at their chapter 17 or chapter 20, their chapter 25, you might not know the backstory.
So we all know the famous basketball player, Michael Jordan, but did you know in high school, he actually got cut from the basketball team. At one point in his career, he said, "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions, I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." He actually said that he attributes his success to his failure because if he hadn't failed in the first place, he wouldn't have worked so hard to succeed.
And did you know that Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star because his editor felt he lacked imagination and had no good ideas. Or did you know that Oprah Winfrey was publicly fired from her first television job as an anchor in Baltimore for getting too emotionally invested in her stories. Or Steven Spielberg, who has when 3 Academy awards, 4 Emmys, 7 Daytime Emmys and 27 of his movies have grossed more than $9 billion was rejected from the University of Southern California of Cinematic Art multiple times.
You have to remember that failing is part of success. I want you to think about it like this. I failed for 10 years of my life at trying to build the body that I wanted. 10 years, but I kept trying, I kept learning. I kept going. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be where I am right now, talking to you on this podcast. I wouldn't have the opportunity to connect with you and help you on your journey. I am so beyond thankful for every single failure that I have endured because it has taught me more and more about myself. And it has taught me about how to actually nourish my body, how to actually honor my body. And for that, I am forever grateful. Failure gives you the opportunity to start again, but this time more intelligently, which leads me to my next point.
Number four, "There is no such thing as failure. There are only results." This is a quote by Tony Robbins that I absolutely love. Like technically there really is no such thing as failing, but we label something as failing. And you know what? We don't have to put that label on anything. What many of us consider failing is actually just seeing certain results. When we think of results, we think of the results that we want to see. And when we see results we don't want, then we label that as failing. When in all reality, all it is, is results we don't want. But the amazing thing about seeing the results we don't want is that we learned about what doesn't work. And when we learn about what doesn't work, that means we are one step closer to finding out what actually does work.
We need to stop thinking of it in terms of failing versus succeeding. Instead, I think we need to think of it in terms of trial and error, there really are no mistakes. These are only lessons. And we can only learn these lessons through trial and error, which makes growth in success. A process of simply trial and error.
Number five, struggling and failing are not the same. I think many of us equate struggling with failing, but the truth is struggling and failing are not the same. Success requires struggle. Getting the results we want requires hard work, perseverance, dedication, consistency, trial and error, discomfort, and sometimes even pain. So when you are feeling and experiencing all of these things, things that make you feel like you're failing, you're only getting closer to your goals. So when you're struggling, don't think that you're failing, believe that you are getting stronger. Remember what I talked about early in the podcast. Whatever it is that you focus on, you give that power. So if you can focus on the fact that you're not failing, but you're only getting closer to the opportunity to reach the goal. That's when your mindset can shift.
And lastly, if you do fail, that doesn't mean that you are a failure. What it means is that you took a chance on yourself and you learned about yourself in the process. And that in and of itself is something to be so incredibly proud of. It's these small mindset shifts that can change huge, drastic results in your life.
To recap on my five thoughts on failure. Number one, focus more on everything that could go right instead of everything that could go wrong. Number two, the worst case scenario is ending up where you are right now, only this time with more experience and lessons. Number three, failing is not the opposite of success, but it's a part of success. It's ingrained in the success journey. Number four, as Tony Robbins said it best. "There is no such thing as failure. There is only results." And number five, struggling and failing are not the same.
If you love this episode, I know you will also love episode 14, 3 ways to stop feeling like a failure. I will link this episode in the show notes. So be sure to tune in if you haven't already, or maybe you have, but it's been a while and you need a refresher. Be sure to go to episode 14, 3 ways to stop feeling like a failure.
If you have somebody in your life that you feel like would really benefit from this episode, you feel like this episode could speak to them. Maybe they are struggling right now in just overthinking things or being paralyzed in the fear of failure. I just ask that you share this out. You can post it up on your Instagram story. Tag me, JulieALedbetter, tag embrace your real account. You can copy the link and text it to them in a text message, whatever way you feel best. I just want to get this message out to as many women as possible, because if we can start normalizing failure as an opportunity for us to succeed only faster and with more experience, I truly believe that there's going to be so many more women in this world, creating beautiful things that are passionate and that are fulfilling them with ultimately what is making them happy and what they're good at. So thank you so much for tuning in, and I will talk to you guys in the next episode.
All right sister, that's all I got for you today, but I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you're not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so, JulieALedbetter. Yes, it's with an A in the middle, for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace your real because you're worth it.