5 Things You Need to Hear If You Care About What “THEY” Think
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WARNING: I’m about to bring you a load of real talk….real talk I know 99.999 percent of you need to hear. Today we are going to talk about “THEY”…what *they* say, what they think, what their opinion and perception is…We need to stop allow THEM to dictate what we THINK or how we ACT. So if If you’re struggling with this, I have a few reminders to share with you.
TRANSCRIPT:
Hey, hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real, with me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned. If you're ready to embrace your real. Let's get it. Let's go.
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Embrace Your Real podcast. Warning today, I'm going to be bringing you a load of real talk. Like real talk I know 99.999% of you need to hear. Today we're going to be talking about they. What they say, what they think, what their opinion or their perception is, and why we need to stop allowing them to dictate what we think or how we act. So if you're struggling with this, I have a few reminders to share with you. But before I do, I had to share this super sweet review.
It comes from Tori Beth 0512. She says, "My go-to podcast. Above all else, Julie's a breath of fresh air. Her energy, self-compassion, and love for life is incredibly refreshing. In every episode, Julie empowers me to challenge my negative thoughts and take life on in a new way. In my worst times, this podcast has made me smile and laugh and see just a glimpse of hope for myself, my relationships and my life as a whole. I also love that she references previous podcast episodes that relate to the current one. It helps me navigate her episodes in a fluid and helpful way."
Thank you so much. Seriously, so, so much Tori Beth for that review. I appreciate you guys so much. I love hearing what your takeaways is from this episode. It really does help me just to envision you as we create new episodes and as we record new episodes, because truly all of this is for you and we are so blessed by your words. So if you haven't already taken out your podcast app on any Apple device, type in, Embrace Your Real. First, make sure you're subscribed so that you never miss an episode.
And next, if you could leave us a review that really does help out the growth of the podcast so that we can reach more women to embrace their real and live their most authentic life. Okay. So let's dive in to this episode. If you care way too much about what they think. I think that these five reminders are going to impact you in a positive way. Number one, what they think about you really isn't about you. How people see us is actually a reflection of how they view themselves. Most of the time if someone doesn't like us, it's not personal. It really does have nothing to do with us. We may provoke feelings of insecurity to arise within them, or we might force them to see parts of themselves that they don't want to see, but that has nothing to do with us at all.
So we need to stop taking it personally when people say negative things about us. We don't know the full story of what's going on in their head. So what they say really isn't any of our business. We can let them carry the negativity, we don't need to. The only way that another person's thoughts or voiced opinions can get to you is if you allow them to get to you. So whether they have said something out loud, or you just think that they're judging you, it's ultimately up to you if you will let that be the loudest say in your mind or not.
Number two, know that your value is not contingent on being liked or accepted. This one is hard. But you have to remember that ultimately your value doesn't come from what they think of you. Again, whether it's voiced or not. It truly has zero impact on your infinite value as a human being. Please remember that. Maybe you're not someone's cup of tea, not everyone is your cup of tea either. People like different cups, but that doesn't make one cup of tea better than another. Does it? It just means that you have different personal preferences. The same is said for people. Just because you aren't someone's cup of tea doesn't mean you aren't as valuable.
I need you to focus on finding people where you are their cup of tea. And again, don't take it personally if you are not because it really has nothing to do with you. And I think that this is really important because if we are speaking up and if we are being ourselves, naturally, the people that are coming to our life will be in our life for a reason. And I would much rather not be liked by being myself than be liked and knowing that's not myself. So I just want to encourage you to please just show up as you, and remember that at the end of the day, when you lay your head on your pillow, if you know that you are being your most authentic self, it really doesn't matter what they think.
Number three. You have to define your values if you want to stop caring what they think. If you're living just to please another person or what you think will please other people, that's exhausting. Instead, I want to encourage you to try focusing on defining what values are most important to you. Focus on who you want to be, not what others say you should be. Focus on what's important to you, not what others think should be important to you. Once you have defined your own values, it's a lot easier to align yourself with other like-minded people and not let the opinions affect you so much.
Because when you start living your life based on your own values and make that the priority of your life, it's crazy how you don't even flinch when it comes to what people think of you. You don't really care anymore because you're living your life so aligned with your values that truly no one's opinion can touch you. To be honest, this in and of itself can evoke more people to not like you. Because honestly, they might be jealous of, number one, they're not living a more aligned life or two, they wish they didn't care what others thought of them.
But at the end of the day, it's really important that you continue to live your life value centered. Because when you're living your life for the values that you have, it gives your life so much more meaning and purpose. And you really do care less about what other people think or what other people say because it doesn't even matter. Like I said, you're not even going to flinch.
Number four. Dig deeper and ask yourself what's really happening. We all have a past, we all have failures on repeat, or stories that we told ourself for years that can easily be triggered by another person's opinion of us. If you find yourself in that spot, you have to identify what is the deeper wound that is being triggered by this person's opinion of myself. Instead of taking it personally and allowing their view of you to diminish your self worth, I want you to use it as an opportunity for growth.
Ask yourself, why is this triggering you? Are they poking at a wound that hasn't healed properly? Are you making an assumption based on past experiences? Are you extra sensitive based on past experiences? Are they highlighting a deeply ingrained insecurity that you might have? It's so much easier to write a new story once you've identified the old story that you've been telling yourself. How can you use this as an opportunity for growth without taking it personally or having it be a reflection of your own self worth?
And number five, give yourself grace and move on. We are only human. We will allow people's opinions to dictate some actions, but the key is to identify it and be proactive and aware when it's happening. The journey of not allowing others opinions to affect us is not something that immediately can be solved overnight. But over time with intentional actions, you can and you will be able to let their voices slowly fade away. Lastly, I want you to remember to never take criticism from someone you would never take advice from.
Truly, if you wouldn't turn to someone for advice, then they probably don't know you. They don't know your full story so you can't take their criticism seriously. You just need to take everything with a grain of salt. So let me recap those five reminders. What they think about you really isn't about you. Number two, know that your value is not contingent on being liked or accepted. Number three, you have to define your values and stop caring about what they think. Number four, dig deeper and ask yourself, what is the story, what's really going on here? And number five, give yourself grace and move on. And remember that slowly over time with intentional actions you can let their voice fade away.
One last thing, if you are not already following Embrace Your Real on the gram, I want you to take out your phone right now and give the podcast a follow. I would love for you to start posting your favorite takeaways from the show or showing me where you're tuning in from. I also love seeing where you're tuning in, whether you're walking, you're driving, you're cleaning, you're working out, whatever you are doing, be sure to post that up on your story and tag embrace your real so that we can connect with you.
I love connecting with you guys. Thank you again for tuning in. If you have a girlfriend or a friend or a coworker or someone in your life that you feel like would really benefit from this episode, I just ask that you share it out with them. You can send it to them in a text message. Again, you can screenshot this episode directly and post it up on your story. Be sure to tag me, Julie Ledbetter, tag embrace your real account. We love, love, love connecting with you guys. Thank you again for tuning in and I'll talk to you in the next episode.
All right, sister, that's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so, juliealedbetter, yes, it's with an a in the middle, for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple podcast to never miss an episode.
Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world. And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace your real because you're worth it.