3 Steps to Shifting Your Negative Self-Narrative
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I saw this quote the other day and it really hit the nail on the head it said: Switch your mentality from “I’m broken and helpless” to “I’m growing and healing” and watch how fast your life changes for the better.
And sister, this couldn’t be any more true. The stories we tell ourselves become our reality. If you take anything away from this episode, literally, I want it to be that. That is the MOST important thing you need to know. But that means identifying the stories we are telling ourselves is the most important thing we need to DO if we want to change our reality. Make sense?
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TRANSCRIPT:
Hey hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real, let's get it, lets go.
Real talk, the stories that we tell ourselves often become our reality. If there is anything that I want you to take away from this episode, I want it to be that. That is the most important thing that you need to know. But that means that identifying the stories that we're telling ourselves is the most important thing that you need to do if you want to change your reality. Does that make sense? I saw this quote the other day and it really hit the nail on the head, it said, switch your mentality from unbroken and helpless to I'm growing and healing, and watch how fast your life changes for the better. That is exactly what we're talking about today, and shifting our narrative the three steps to shift our narrative so that we can achieve our goals.
But before I do, I have to share the super sweet review. It comes from glorylm1, she says, "Great podcast for self-care and self-love. Julie is so inspiring and allows a safe space to embrace self-care and self-love. Just a reminder of being kind starts with oneself." Yes, I love that so, so much, thank you for the review.
Okay, so back to shifting our self narrative. Here's the question I want you to first answer, what is the story, or what are the stories that you keep telling yourself? Maybe it's that you'll never find love, or that you'll never earn a certain amount of money, or maybe it's that you're too shy to speak in public, or that you'll always be the way that you are. Maybe it's that you think you'll never make a living doing what you love, or that you're not smart enough to succeed. Maybe it's that you think you'll never be able to reach your goals, or that you're too ugly, or too fat, or just not enough. All of these things are stories that have been on repeat in our subconscious brain.
The difference between you and the person doing the thing that you've always wanted to do, or the person who you aspire to be like, are the stories that you're both telling yourselves. I'll say it again, the difference between you and the person living the life that you want to be living is the desire to make the story they wanted to be living their reality. But the fact is, you have to have the desire within you. This means that you have to have the ability to accomplish it. It requires you to change your story. So what is the story that you're constantly telling yourself? Write it down, write down what your story is. How long have you telling yourself this story? Where is this story stemmed from? And why do you believe this story to be true?
I know at first you might feel like you don't know the answer to this, but if you come openly to this question and allow yourself to think about it for longer than two minutes, I guarantee things will come to mind. I'm actually going to include some questions in the show notes for you so you can actually sit down and journal them after listening to this episode. And when you do, I not only want you to identify what your story is, but I want you to dissect it. Dissect your story so you have a complete understanding of it. Remember this, that there are three types of conditioning, what you heard, what you saw, and what you experienced, and all of those three conditionings have created beliefs. These beliefs are like glasses, the way that you see things, the way that you see life within these beliefs, you've distorted your perception of reality.
Once you have identified your story, it's now time to shift your story. You came up with a previous story, so why not be able to come up with a new story? If the stories you tell yourself became a reality in the past, you literally have control to create the reality that you want in the future, and it simply starts by changing the narrative in which you're telling yourself. If you've ever thought these things before, maybe it's time for you to shift your self narrative, "I have to be perfect at X, Y, and Z, I'm too young, or I'm too old, or I'm too smart, or I'm too dumb, or I'm not this, or I'm just not the blank type of person."
For me personally, it was simply deciding that I could actually start reaching my goals and living the life that I've always dreamed of living. I finally realized, and I came to terms, that I could have an exceptional relationship with God, I could have an incredible relationship with myself, and I could have an intimate and amazing relationship with my husband. I finally realized that I could transparently show myself to the world and teach them what I've learned, the experiences that I've had, the perspective that I've learned over the years do matter, and there are people that could benefit from them.
For example, for a decade of my life, I thought I couldn't be strong, I thought that I couldn't have confidence. I told myself I could never be that girl that looks at herself in the mirror and is confident at what is staring back at herself. But then I realized, that's the story that I've always been telling myself, that's what I've always said, "Well, I've just always been like this, so I'm bound to always be like X." I told myself I could never, and by telling myself that, I was reaffirming that belief, that was a false belief that was distorting my perception of what could be possible.
So here's a challenge for you, I have three things that I want you to write down. Number one, I want you to identify what the current story is, the current narrative that you're telling yourself, and why you're telling yourself that. You have to become 100% aware of the current story that you're telling yourself and why this is the story that you've been telling yourself. Again, this could be, "I have to be blank or I'm too young, or I'm too old, or I'm too smart, or I'm too dumb.,Or I'm just not the blank type of person." I want you to write down your insecurities, your fears, your past failures, and what you have on repeat in your brain, aka, that current story that you're telling yourself.
Number two, I want you to identify the daily habits that are reinforcing that current story that you're telling yourself, and the negative narrative that you have. This is where you have to be self aware with what you're doing and ask yourself, what are the things that I keep doing over and over again, or that I keep telling myself over and over again, because you're actually telling your brain it is okay to stay in this thought pattern. Remember that repetition is the mother of skill. If you're repeating the wrong thing, or doing the wrong things that actually aren't reinforcing what you truly want to do, or the new story that you want to create, it's not going to help you.
And number three, I need you to define what your new story's going to be. What do you want your story to be? What do you want your reality to become? What do you want your story to look like, and how can you shift your current story to match the story that you want for yourself? Write this story down, literally write it down as if it's happening, as if it's happened. Read this story over and over and over again to yourself, and I want you to read this story to yourself every morning when you wake up. Tell yourself this story more often than you do anything else in your life. Because remember, the stories that you tell yourself often become your reality.
So when you tell yourself that you're blank, or you tell yourself that you can blank, or you tell yourself you will become blank, you will eventually start to align your actions and beliefs with that. Repetition is the mother of skill, just like I said, and yes, that repetition could be reinforcing the negative story or narrative, or it can reinforce the new story and the new narrative that you want to live. Remember that you are ultimately in control of the narrative. You take responsibility for your life, and you choose to take an active role in making your story a good one. You can either be your story, or you can buy the book, the choice is yours.
I actually dive a lot more deeper into this topic in episode 19, five steps to changing your story. I've linked it in the show notes below, so be sure to go tune in there. If you have somebody in your life, or you feel like this episode would really resonate with people that follow you, I just ask you share it out. You can copy the link, send it to them in a text message. You can post it up on your story, tag me, Julie Ledbetter, tag Embrace Your Real, I always love seeing your aha moment. But please take some time after this episode, or take some time tomorrow morning or tonight and ask yourself, what is the story, what is the narrative that I'm living in, and how is that distorting the reality that I want to become?
I love you guys so much, thank you so much for tuning in, and I will talk to you guys in the next episode.
All right sister, that's all I got for you today, but I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so, JulieALedbetter, yes it's with an A in the middle, for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me, it means the absolute world, and I'm going to leave you with one last thought, the most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface, so go out there and embrace your real, because you're worth it.