12 Signs You Have a Healthy Ego (+ signs you DON’T)
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We all have an ego whether we like it or not, but you know what? We NEED an ego to function in this world. With that being said, not all egos are the same and not all egos are healthy. We want to ensure we don’t have an ego that's too weak or an ego that's too big, but an ego that's healthy. So what are characteristics of a weak ego, a big ego, and a healthy ego? Let me tell you in this episode of Embrace Your Real!
If you loved this episode, I know you will also love…
Episode 118: 3 Steps to Shifting Your Negative Self-Narrative
The stories we tell ourselves become our reality and in this episode, I chat with you about shifting that narrative so you can change your reality! I will link this in the show notes below so you can easily go listen.
TRANSCRIPT:
Hey there, beautiful human. You're listening to Embrace Your Real, with me, Julie Ledbetter, a podcast where I empower you to just be you. With each episode, I dish you a dose of real talk and actionable advice for building your confidence, honoring your body and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real. Let's get it, let's go. Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Embrace Your Real Podcast. Let's chat about egos. We all have an ego, whether we like it or not, and you know what? We need an ego to function in this world. But with that being said, not all egos are the same and not all egos are healthy.
We want to ensure we don't have an ego that's too weak or too big, but an ego that is healthy. What are the characteristics of a weak ego? What about an ego that's too big? Or what about a healthy ego? I'm going to be sharing all of that and so much more in today's episode. But before I do, I had to share the super sweet reveal. It comes from [Back 00:01:08] Seven. She says, "My calm. Julie is such a calm person and inspiring. During the school year, I look forward to getting to work early, to get my stuff done and listen to her. Now that it's summer, I enjoy her podcast during walks and the car. So thankful for her inspiration and positivity."
Thank you so much for this review. This actually made me think of something I would love for you to scooch over to Apple Podcasts. It's a free podcast app on every single Apple device. Whether you have an iPhone, an iPad, a Mac computer, go to the Apple Podcast app, type in, Embrace Your Real, and I would love for you to leave a review and let me know what you do when you tune into the podcast. I'm always curious. I love seeing, sometimes people are walking, sometimes they're cleaning, sometimes they're cooking. I just love seeing that. I would love for you to leave a review and let me know what you like to do while you tune into the podcast, and maybe what your favorite episode has been, or just overall what you've been getting out of listening to the Embrace Your Real Podcast.
You can screenshot that review and then send it to me in a DM on Instagram, juliealedbetter, and I will personally respond back in a voice memo. I love connecting with you guys so incredibly much, and I appreciate the reviews. They help the growth of the podcast more than you know. Okay, let's dive into the different kinds of egos. The first is a weak ego. This is an ego that many of us have, unfortunately. But that's okay because acknowledging that we have it is the first step towards building a healthy ego. If you have a weak ego, you might lack self-worth, it's common for you to talk down to yourself saying things like I'm not attractive enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not skinny enough, I'm not beautiful enough, I'm not good enough, or I'm just plain not enough.
A person with a weak ego typically cares way too much about what other think of them and are constantly people pleasing. Does this sound familiar? I want you to just take inventory and be honest with yourself. There's no shame here. I just want to educate you on the different types of egos so that you can have the awareness to know maybe what are the things that you need to work on. Okay. Moving on to a big ego. People with big egos appear to have lots of confidence, lots of self-worth and lots and lots of pride. They'll have thoughts like I'm better than you. They might not say that, but that's what they're thinking.
Or I always have to win, I have to tell everyone about my achievements and what I'm capable of. Basically the world revolves around me. Like I said, in this, with a big ego, these are likely things that you're not saying to other people. It's just the way that you are acting and the way that you are reacting. Okay. Now that you know the difference between a weak ego and a big ego, the craziest thing is that there are a lot of similarities. Both struggle with insecurities. Oftentimes, those with a big ego are trying to cover up insecurities just like the ones with the weak ego are. Both are constantly looking for validation from others and ways to reassure themselves.
This can create a very unstable foundation for you to live your life, which is why we all need to work on having an healthy ego. What does a healthy ego look like, and why do we need to ensure that we have a healthy ego? Well, without a healthy ego, we'll struggle to show up authentically. A healthy ego allows us to feel okay accepting, embracing, and loving our true authentic self. As long as we are battling our ego, we'll never be able to get there. In today's episode, I wanted to share 12 signs of a healthy ego. I want to encourage you to take out a pen and paper to jot these down or use the note section in your phone.
I also want to encourage you to decide which of these 12 characteristics you want or need to work on. Remember, I think it's important that we work one by one. I never think it's important to try and change everything at once because that's overwhelming and just not sustainable. Maybe after you hear this list of 12 characteristics of a healthy ego, maybe try to pick one or two that you focus on for the next four to eight weeks, and then once that four to eight weeks is over, evaluate and see how you're doing and maybe pick one or two more. Then from there, you can almost stack it, just like I talk about habit stacking.
Number one, admitting when you are wrong or making a mistake. Personally, I admire this quality so much in a person. It's okay to be wrong and it's okay to make a mistake. In fact, not only is it okay, it means that you're human. It means that you're taking risks because oftentimes you going out and taking a risk means you're risking possibly making a mistake. When you choose to own it, instead of making excuses for it or trying to cover it up, people will respect you so much more when you say, "I was wrong," or, "I made a mistake." Number two, making decisions without the fear of judgment from others. People with healthy egos make decisions off of what is best for them without taking the judgment of others into consideration.
A healthy ego doesn't feel like they need to make choices and do things in order to impress other people. They do it because they know it's what makes them happy. In the long run, this truly will allow you to feel more fulfilled in your life because you're finally making decisions for yourself and no one else. Number three, responding instead of reacting. These are two totally different things. Reacting stems from an unhealthy ego. Your ego is controlling the way that you are handling a certain situation because someone has heard it or questioned it or has heightened your insecurities. Responding on the other hand comes from a healthy ego.
Responding means you are looking at a situation with clarity and you see it for exactly what it is, and you are not looking at it through a lens that has been clouded by insecurities. Number four, creating boundaries even with those who you love the most. Boundaries are beyond important, but many of us fail to place them because of our fear of letting people down or people not liking us. But when you have a healthy ego, you realize that boundaries are necessary in order for you to take care of yourself and become the best version of yourself and the best for those who you love most.
You are not setting boundaries because you think you're above somebody or above some thing, but because you recognize that it protects your mental and physical health and allows you to show up as your best self in that role or in that relationship. Number five, admitting you need help when you need help. Sometimes we have too much pride to ask for help, or we think we need to do everything on our own to prove that we are enough or what we do is good enough. Someone though, with a healthy ego, realizes that they don't need to do everything on their own in order to prove themselves to others. They also realize that asking for help does not take away from their self-worth.
Asking for help means that they're able to have more time and energy, not only to improve themselves, but again, to show up in the roles and the relationships that they have in their best capacity. Number six, acknowledging and appreciating beauty in others. Someone with a healthy ego isn't jealous or envious of the beauty and other women. They realize that acknowledging and appreciating the beauty that they see in others does not make them less beautiful. It doesn't mean that they aren't beautiful. It doesn't affect their beauty whatsoever. We can be beautiful. There is an unlimited amount of beauty in this world. It's okay to acknowledge and appreciate the beauty that we see in others.
In fact, I encourage it and I want to empower you to start actively looking for the beauty of other people. Number seven, celebrating other's success. Just how acknowledging and appreciating the beauty of others does not take away from your own beauty, the same can be said about success. A person with a healthy ego recognizes that celebrating someone else's success does not mean that they will experience less success. Instead of looking at the success of others with jealousy and envy, they will look at it with excitement and use that excitement to motivate them, to push them so that they can reach either the same success or their own definition of what success looks like.
Number eight, listen with an open mind and an open heart. Someone with a healthy ego doesn't always feel the need to defend their point of view. They don't always feel like they have to tell all their achievements to other people or to make the conversation only about themselves. They listen to other people without judgment. They hear their perspectives and viewpoints of others even if it doesn't align with their own. They also love hearing about others, their lives and their accomplishments. Number nine, confident in your abilities. Not only are you confident in your abilities when you have a healthy ego, but you're confident enough that you don't feel the need to tell the world just how confident you are.
When you're confident in your abilities, it will actually push you to do more things out of your comfort zone, and the beautiful thing about this is that you are showing them with actions instead of words that you are confident, and that in and of itself is the most attractive quality of confidence in my opinion. Number 10, you realize that perfection does not exist. People with healthy egos don't chase unrealistic standards or expectations. They don't feel the need to be perfect and they don't live their life chasing it. Yes, they want to strive to be their best selves, whatever that looks like in the season of life that they're in, but they understand that it won't include perfection.
They're able to embrace their flaws and show up as their imperfect authentic self. Number 11, you believe you are enough. Someone with a healthy ego doesn't need to others that they're enough. They also don't let others make them feel like they aren't enough. They know that they are enough within themselves, and that is all they need. Again, by the decisions that they make and the people that they hang out with, when you know that you are enough, you inspire people more than you know just because you're living and operating from that belief instead of constantly chasing this idea or this need to feel like you are enough. I can tell you, there are a handful of people in my life that operate from this place knowing that they are enough and they are truly the most inspiring, authentic, and beautiful people I've ever met.
Number 12, you embrace your real. That's right. People with a healthy ego don't change to fit in. They don't try to hide their flaws and they don't try to pretend that they're someone that they're not. They simply embrace the real, and that is the most amazing thing ever. After hearing these 12 things, I want to ask you, how many characteristics do you hold, and how many do you need to work on? I know that this list can maybe feel overwhelming, especially if you're just acknowledging for maybe the first time in your life or in the first time in your adulthood that you might have a weak ego or a big ego. It's okay. We all do. As I'm listing off these things, I know myself that I have so much to work on, and that's the beautiful part about it.
Like I said in the beginning, acknowledging it is the first step towards change. I want to encourage you to write it down and start paying attention as to how do you act in your day-to-day life. I guarantee when you are more aware of how you are acting or maybe reacting in situations, it will remind you of maybe certain characteristics that you want to work on. Remember, awareness is the only way to change your actions and your thought patterns. Let me give you a quick recap. Number one, admitting when you're wrong or make a mistake. Number two, making decisions without fear of judgment from others. Number three, responding instead of reacting.
Number four, creating boundaries even with those who love the most. Number five, admitting you need help when you need help. Number six, acknowledging and appreciating beauty in others. Number seven, celebrating the success of other people. Number eight, listen with an open mind and an open heart. Number nine, confident in your abilities. Number 10, realizing that perfection does not exist. Number 11, believing that you are enough, and number 12, embracing your real. If you love this episode, I know you will also love episode 118, three steps to shifting your negative self narrative. The stories we tell ourselves often become the reality.
In this episode, I chat with you about shifting the narrative so that you can change your reality. I will link that in the show notes below so that you can easily go listen. If you have a friend, a sister, a coworker, or someone in your life that you feel like would really benefit from this episode, I just ask that you share it out with them. You can copy the link, send it to them in a text message. You can screenshot this, post it up on your story. I would also love to know your aha moments. You can tag me, juliealedbetter, and Embrace Your Real account. We love connecting with you. Thank you so much for tuning in and I'll talk to you guys in the next episode.
All right, sister. That's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you're not already following me on the Gram, be sure to do so, juliealedbetter, yes, it's with an A in middle, for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world, and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. Go out there and embrace your real because you're worth it.