Food Commentary You Need to Drop
“I ate way too much, I feel so fat” or “I shouldn't be eating this” are things we say more often than not when it comes to eating. But what are we trying to achieve when saying these things? Why do others need to know this? Are we looking for validation? For approval? For them to stop us from eating more? What are we looking for? There really is no point. All verbalizing these thoughts does is add to our toxic relationship with food. When we verbalize these thoughts about food, and our body when we eat food, we only trigger ourselves to fall deeper into a negative relationship with food. But, you also make others feel bad about their food choices, too. So that’s why in this episode of Embrace Your Real, I share food commentary you need to drop explain my reasoning as to why it’s toxic.
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TRANSCRIPT:
Hey there, beautiful human. You're listening to Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter, a podcast where I empower you to just be you. With each episode, I dish you a dose of real talk and actionable advice for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real. Let's get it, let's go.
Hello, and welcome back to the Embrace Your Real podcast. You are back for another bonus episode. It's going to be a super short one. Thank you for allowing me to show up in your earbuds today. Wherever you're tuning in all over the world, whether you're walking, you're jogging, you're cooking, you're cleaning, you're working out, you are doing the dang thing, I'm so grateful that you are here. Today we're going to be talking about food commentary, and things that you need to drop from your dialogue. Now, when we say negative things about food and our body and what we eat, we only trigger ourselves to fall deeper into a negative relationship with food. But you also may not know that the things that you're saying may hurt, or make other people feel bad about their food choices too. To be honest, there are way more people in your life than you may realize who have an unhealthy relationship with food and/or disordered eating habits. So when you say certain things, it could trigger them to make them feel worse about themselves and continue to engage in their healthy ways.
So not only do we need to drop the negative talk about food for our own wellbeing, but also so that we don't contribute in society's beliefs around what we should look like and what we should do in order to look that way. So in today's episode, I'm going to give you three examples of commentary to strengthen our relationship with food, and then also three things that we need to stop saying. But before I dive in, I want to share the super-short review of the day from Lindsay Michelle 1026. She says, "So good. Every woman on planet earth needs it. Listen to her empowering message." Seriously, if you just leave a one sentence review like that, I would be the happiest person in the world. All you got to do is click pause, scroll all the way down if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, click Rate And Review, and you are done. If you do, please screenshot it, send it to me in the DM, and I'll personally thank you. It really does help us out in podcast land.
Back to the episode, commentary about food that we need to drop. One thing that many of us say, I know I will be the first to tell you, I have said this more times than I can count on my hands, "I'm so full, I feel fat." That whole sentence. I'm so full, I feel fat. We need to stop saying, "I'm so full, and I feel fat," together because we give the feeling of fullness a negative connotation. When we do, we're associating feeling full with being fat. When in reality, feeling full is the goal. You ate because you needed food. And now you feel full because you gave your body the food it needed. So you should feel full. That means that you nourish your body with what it needed, and you aren't depriving it of anything. It means you're going to have the energy that you need to live your life. But for some of you, I know the feeling of full may be a foreign feeling. And I know some of you might be going out with your significant other, your girlfriends, you might have a night in where you just eat way more food than normal. And typically it's those times when you're triggered to say something, "I'm so full, I feel fat."
But girl, I'm here to tell you, there is literally no way on a logical level that you could get fat after one meal. To gain one pound, you literally need to eat 3500 extra more calories. And even if you gained one pound, that still wouldn't make you visibly fatter. So please stop feeling afraid of feeling full, and allow fullness to be the goal. Now I understand if you overeat something, and you just feel sick and you don't feel good, that's different. You can acknowledge that you overate, or you overindulged, and you really didn't need that, and now you don't feel good. Ultimately, the goal of you fueling your body is to feel good. So if you don't feel good, it's okay to acknowledge that. When we acknowledge those things, that's what helps us learn. But it's the two things together, "I'm so full, I feel fat," that's when it can trigger an unhealthy relationship, and just toxic thoughts.
Another commentary that we often say around food is, "I shouldn't be eating this." Now let's stop for a moment and think about this. Why shouldn't you be eating this? Who says you shouldn't be eating this? If you want it, and you're enjoying it, it most likely means you should be eating it. There shouldn't be any off food limits. When you label food as good or bad, or you shouldn't eat it, you allow that food to control you. And the more you think you shouldn't eat something, the more you're going to want it, because the more you think about it and the more you'll likely overindulge in that food, leading to you not feeling well. So when you're out with your friends, or your significant other, or a family gathering, or whatever it may be, and you say out loud, "I shouldn't be eating this," ask yourself, what are you really trying to achieve? Why do others need to know this? Are you looking for validation? Are you looking for approval? For them to stop you from eating more? What is it that you're really looking for? Because at the end of the day, there really is no point in that.
All verbalizing it does, is add more toxicness to the relationship with food. And it can honestly hurt other people at the table that you might not even know it's hurting. You're with your daughter, you're with her friends, you are with your sister, you're with a coworker. You don't know these people's relationship with food. You don't know their struggles. And so something like that can really trigger something in another person. When all you were trying to do was maybe just look for validation, or you're trying to get another person to be like, "Yeah. You really shouldn't be eating this. Stop eating it." And then it just turns into this unhealthy relationship with food overall.
Another thing we often say around food is, "I wish I could eat that." I'm here to tell you, I've said it before, I will say it again, I will continue saying it, you can eat the thing. There is literally nothing stopping you. If you want it, eat it. If you want it, eat it. If you want it, eat it. That is why I love macro-counting because I can literally eat anything I want without feeling the need to overindulge, because I'm no longer restricting myself. If I want the slice of pizza, if I want the ice cream cone, all of those things, I can still have while building the body that I want. So if these are things that you often say, I recommend that you look into macro counting, if you haven't already. I used to think that I couldn't eat this or that, or, "Oh my gosh. If I eat that, I'm going to be so fat." But once I started educating myself and empowering myself around food, I realized that I had no off limits. If I eat within my macros, I'm fueling my body enough for what it needs. And it's so incredible how empowered I feel around food when I used to fear it.
If you want to learn more, I do have a free ebook. I will just link it in the show notes. It's like 39-plus pages of just free information. It will give you all the basics plus help you determine like what your macros are starting out, and all of that. So I will definitely link that in the show notes below completely free. All you got to do is just enter in your email address and voila. I will send it to you in your inbox.
The last commentary I'm going to talk about is when we comment on other people's eating habits. Something like, "Are you really going to eat all that?" Ladies, when we have an unhealthy relationship with food, it's easy to judge others' relationships with food. Most often the root of our judgment stems from our own insecurities. And in this case, it's food. So when you see someone eating something that you would never allow yourself to eat, or you would feel bad eating, you make the person eating it, experience your insecurities by passing judgment onto them. Are you following this?
We need to let go of any commentary when we are commenting on someone else's eating habits. Because number one, it's not fair for us to project our insecurities onto them. And two, we don't want to trigger them to develop an unhealthy relationship with food too, and strengthen their unhealthy relationship with food. Like what they eat or don't eat is their choice, just like what we eat and what we don't eat is our choice. And we would never, ever, ever want to be the reason that someone else feels bad about themselves. Can we collectively say an amen to that? And I'm guessing you wouldn't appreciate someone questioning every bite you take. So don't do that to others in return.
My challenge to you is to start paying attention to what you verbally say around food. Like seriously pay attention to it. And also pay attention to what other people around you are saying. Because sometimes we have this unhealthy relationship with food, and we feel like, we're doing everything right. Yes, that's 50% of it. The other 50% is, what is your spouse saying? What are your kids saying? What is your mom saying? What are your coworkers saying? What are your friends saying? You have to be hyper sensitive to that, because those are the things, and those external forces impact us just as much as the things that we say to ourselves.
So I need you to write it down. Keep track of the negative things that you say about food and things that you might be hearing from others say about food, and keep track of it. Because it's important that you ask yourself some questions when you finally realize what sort of dialogue you're having around food. So here are the three questions I want you to ask once you have the dialogue. Number one, "What triggered me to say this?" if it was something that you said. Number two, "What was I trying to accomplish by saying this?" And number three, "How can I change my commentary moving forward?" So those are three things that you can ask yourself if you're finding yourself having negative dialogue around food. Now, if it's somebody else that you're struggling with the dialogue, I want you to take that dialogue and I want you to look at it, and dissect it and say, "Why are they saying that?"
And remember that, just like I said earlier, typically the things that we say to other people is, us just projecting our insecurities on the other person, because we want the other person to feel what we're feeling. Even though we would never verbally wish that upon somebody, that's what we do in our actions. Simply remember that it's the same when you hear people saying stuff. So if it's your spouse, maybe he's insecure about food. Maybe this is a conversation that you need to have. And these are... Like I said earlier, it's so crazy, once you start opening up about your struggles, what sort of invitation it gives others to be authentic as well. And I can tell you, there have been so many conversations with so many people in my life that I had no idea struggled with similar things that I did, simply because I started a conversation or I openly said something, whether it was on social media, or I said it directly to them like, "Man, this is what I'm struggling with right now." It's amazing the conversations that can come from it.
So take in that dialogue that you're hearing from other people and ask yourself, "Should I have a conversation with this person?" And maybe it can start by you outwardly struggling, or maybe it can be with you saying something like, "Hey, I listened to this episode the other day. And it was so crazy because it was talking about blah, blah, blah." That could be a great intro to a conversation that really allows you to have this open conversation about the dialogue that we have with food. And as I said before, like your thoughts create your reality. So in order for you to change your story about food, you need to change the way that you think about food. And this is a great place to start. If you're interested in building a healthier relationship with your body, and want to learn more about macro-counting, like I said earlier, I do have a free ebook that I will link in the show notes. So it'd be sure to go there to download it, 39-plus pages of just education for you.
But I hope that you found something helpful from this episode. Remember that our goal is to, not only help ourselves become the best possible version of ourselves, but it's also so that we can be a ripple effect in this world for your daughters, for your sisters, for... As an aunt, I know I'm an aunt and I have a beautiful, beautiful niece that I want to grow up, and feel confident, and strong, and not feel the things that I struggled with as a 12-, 13-, 14-, 15-year-old girl. So I'm going to be very, very aware of what I'm saying, and how I'm saying it, and all of those things. So just remembering that there are always people in your life that are watching you, that are looking up to you. So this is why we need to have these open conversations.
I hope that you enjoyed today's bonus episode. If you did, feel free to screenshot it, post it up on your story. Tag me, Julie A Ledbetter. I'd love to see what came from it. If you have somebody in your life that could really benefit from this, if you're listening on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, there are three dots on the top-right of your screen right now. If you click on that, you will see Copy Link. You'll be able to share it out on your story, in a text message, however you want to share it out to the people that you love. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I'll talk to you guys in the next episode.
All right sister, that's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you're not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so, Julie A Ledbetter, yes, it's with an A in the middle, for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world. And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace your real, because you're worth it.